Need Benefit Advice Please, What help can i get?

Tulip09

I think i am being pretty thick here and im sorry. My eldest is 17 and he says she should get a job and a life and wont give her money at all. The money i give her is usually from my housekeeping allowance. I dont think we get carers allowance but i am not sure: is there a way to check? My husband is on about picking the kids up on his 4 days off which is every other week i think, but i would have no problem with him visiting and staying to see our kids really. My son wont cope wit a seperation but my girls wouls look forward to it

Im sorry im not really much help here, i really dont know what i am doing and really value all your advice and help in this, so thank you.

As of today i get higher rate care allowance but lower rate mobility , so a nice bonus really.

Jowo_2

I'm not sure that there is any legal obligation for your husband to support your daughter if you don't get child benefit for her and she's not in education, probably not, but CAB or your solicitor will advise.

If your husband is proposing to have the children every other weekend, then he'd be having them for 25% of the time! But my thinking is that for the majority of the time the youngest will be in school from Monday to Friday, hence perhaps they'd need to be back on Sunday night and stay through at your place to Thursday night which is taking it down to 2 nights every 2 weeks, this is reducing their visits to 15% (not 50%!) and that's only if they want to go through that regularly, which they may not if they don't like being in a car for 6 hour stretches when they could be out with their mates, or because their dad tells them to 'get a life'..

As you've only just qualified for MRC DLA, you've only just qualified to have a paid carer and it doesn't get paid automatically, you have to apply, so its not something you could have been receiving without knowing. You and your daughter should look into applying for carers allowance asap which will give her £53 per week. I'm not sure in this case, but in many cases for benefits, you can't get it back dated, only from the day you apply.

Why would you let a non-paying, non-resident father stay over?! He tricked you into moving 500 miles away - why are you making things comfortable for him?!. If his net income is 2k a month, for example, he could be due to pay you 20% of it in child support - £400 per month. If he's as stingy as he's coming across in this thread insists his only income is that part time job, then he must cough up £250 per month based on that CSA formula (though they may take his debts into account). Your solicitor will tell you the best options and whether its best to negotiate an agreed child support agreement rather than go through CSA which I imagine your husband will want to avoid at all costs once he finds out that nearly a quarter of his gross income could go to his abandoned family. After all, IF (big if) his self-employment brings in the same income as his part time regular employment, he's grossing 40k a year, £2,500 net per month.

RAS

Tulip

Lets take this a few steps at a time.

1. Get your credit records, as it sounds like you do not even know with whom you have taken out loans or got credit. http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/loans/credit-rating-credit-score#check
2. Open a new basic (no credit check required) account with a bank that has a branch in the town you are going to - as long as you do not owe anything to them (which is why you did the credit check first). See here for options http://www.moneymadeclear.org.uk/pdfs/bank_accounts.pdf
3. Make sure that the Child Benefit is in your name and that you get this paid into the new bank account.
4. Get the Child Tax Credit moved over to your new bank account as well.
5. You need to get hold of a copy of recent joint bank statement. How much is in there?
6. Now you have been granted higher level care allowance your daughter needs to apply for carer's allowance for the help she is giving you. I agree with your husband that she does need to get a life outside the family; I am confused as to how he thinks a young person stuck with no transport 15 miles from the nearest shop is going to get work outside the family. She also need a basic bank account in her own name.


Your OH has some very very strange ideas on what will be suitable arrangments for the future; if he is working 4 days on 4 days off, half the time his days off will co-incide with time that your children are in school. So they will not be able to visit him. I suggest that you do not provide him with accomodation during this time. He can pick up and return the children at the weekend every fortnight. He only get a reduction in CSA if they stay more than 52 mights with him, although he will probably be allowed to claim towards the cost of transport.

On a very practical note, how are you going to furnish a 4 bedroom house and make the move?

anicemaiden

I live just over 100 miles away from my ex (my childrens father) - my choice at the time.

I just want to reiterate what the previous person has put in their post... 500 miles is a realllllly long way for joint custody...
My ex has joint parental responsibility - yet I have held the reins since I left with the children - as to their residency - I have the residency order -
My ex sees my children approximately once every 3 months. It is now much less as my children are much older.

Get a good lawyer - CAB can offer help and there are many lawyers offering half hour or an hours worth of free advice. Make sure you have an organised list of what you want answers for.
It gets very emotional and the time is then gone.

Good luck with everything.

Robbie64

Jowo wrote: »

As you've only just qualified for MRC DLA, you've only just qualified to have a paid carer and it doesn't get paid automatically, you have to apply, so its not something you could have been receiving without knowing. You and your daughter should look into applying for carers allowance asap which will give her £53 per week. I'm not sure in this case, but in many cases for benefits, you can't get it back dated, only from the day you apply.

In addition to claiming Carers Allowance of £53.90 the daughter would also be able to claim Income Support of £28.00, bringing her income up to £81.90 per week.

Carers Allowance can be backdated (upon request) for up to 13 weeks but if the middle rate care component only became payable during the 13 weeks then the backdating is back to the date the DLA care component became payable.

debrag

Sounds to me like he got you to sign for the new property as a way to get you out of your current place.

Robbie64

debrag wrote: »

Sounds to me like he got you to sign for the new property as a way to get you out of your current place.

I agree - he sounds very callous.

hermum

OP please think really carefully about moving to somewhere in the middle of nowhere, if at all possible see if you can cancel the new tenancy & find something close to your parents but in a town. Where are you moving to & from?
Have you put your name down on the council list in the area where you want to live?
If you are moving to be closer to family for essential support you could be placed higher on the list, ensure that you've completed the medical form, ask Shelter to help with this.
Your children won't be able to join in with activities, friends parties etc. Your daughter also needs to be able to make new friends when she moves, she won't do that stuck in the middle of nowhere caring for you. She's going to be living an old persons life while little more than a child. If she gets a job to make friends, will you be able to find anyone to do the care that she won't be there to do?
Your husband sounds like a delightful being, does he want you on the back burner in case this relationship goes belly up once he's got you out of the way.
Running a car is darned expensive, especially when you have to use it all the time for everything, even picking up a bottle of milk.
If this is for real, will you cut your husbands balls off when you go.

millym

Hi, not much to add from me, except sympathy. Although, once you're settled, I reckon you'll be better off, in every sense of the word. Follow the steps outlined by RAS first and foremost. Then you need to decide if you want to move to this new house and ask for advice here based on that decision. Good luck!

kingfisherblue

Fedup08, I would suggest that you start your own thread so that people can advise you properly. If we advise you on this thread, there is a possibility of the advice for you and the OP getting mixed up - nobody will know who the comments are meant for.

To start a new thread, click on the box at the top left of the screeen.