Need Benefit Advice Please, What help can i get?

dmg24

Tulip09 wrote: »

My mother lives about 15 miles away from the new house but the house is in the country 15 miles from the nearest shop which is the downside. I want to move closer to her as she is also ill just now however feel that i will be totally cut off. My eldest child is learning to drive so hopefully that will make things a bit easier on us.

Only you know your situation but it sounds like the move could be the worst thing for you. I can't drive and the thought of living fifteen miles away from friends combined with (I assume) limited public transport would be a nightmare.

Is the area that you are supposed to be moving to quite popular? It may be possible for the agent to relet the property. Whilst you are likely to incur some costs, in the long run these may be cancelled out by the transport costs you would have incurred (and your own sanity).

Somerset

Can't help with the benefits, but it sounds like your husband is calling all the shots.
- Where you live, where he lives (the sole signature tenancy agreement is a nice touch .... too busy, right)
- What (if any) he'll pay in child support as he's got these travel costs.
- When he'll have the kids.
- He's decided he's having joint custady and 50% of child benefit & child credit.
- What he'll expect you to pay off the joint debts.

Sounds like he's been planning for awhile. Benefits do need to be looked at - but a good divorce lawyer would be top of my list.

Tulip09

Jowo wrote: »

How do you propose to help her if you are largely bedbound yourself?

When you seek legal advice, find out the position on the ownership of the car and see if you allowed to sell it to repay the loan or can take it with you to the new property.

My mum can drive so she will help me out, she has Copd from smoking and has problems with joints currently, its more of a support/ emotional thing.

I am unable to drive, and he would need the car for collecting the kids and his work etc but i will mention it thanks

dmg24

Tulip09 wrote: »

My mum can drive so she will help me out, she has Copd from smoking and has problems with joints currently, its more of a support/ emotional thing.

I am unable to drive, and he would need the car for collecting the kids and his work etc but i will mention it thanks

How he gets to work is his problem, not yours.

I have to agree with Somerset on this one, he may appear to be playing fair, but he appears to have put a lot of thought into how everything will benefit him. Any parent that would choose to live 500 miles away from their children can only be thinking of themselves.

Tulip09

dmg24 wrote: »

Only you know your situation but it sounds like the move could be the worst thing for you. I can't drive and the thought of living fifteen miles away from friends combined with (I assume) limited public transport would be a nightmare.

Is the area that you are supposed to be moving to quite popular? It may be possible for the agent to relet the property. Whilst you are likely to incur some costs, in the long run these may be cancelled out by the transport costs you would have incurred (and your own sanity).

Nope it only has a few houses in the village, nothing else. My husband wanted the house as it was safe for the kids & away from everything so he could relax when not working. The kids get taken to school by taxi service, i think there is 2 buses a day.

Thanks for these questions as it is becominag apparent, that i really havent considered what i should be doing.

Jowo_2

Tulip09 wrote: »

... My husband says he will be fair with me though...

His actions to date haven't demonstrated that fairness is at the front of his mind (actions versus words). See a solicitor now because surely your husband won't mind honouring his legal obligations, given his stated attitude to fairness!

Are you sure you signed this new tenancy agreement in your sole name? Sometimes it is issued after the payment for the 1st months rent and deposit has cleared much closer to the move in date.

Do you think perhaps your husband merely changed the current joint tenancy into his sole name rather than end it? You are quite out of the loop for household admin and I wonder if your husband has been devious. Has any prospective viewers come to this current property to view it? Call the landlord or agent to check if your husband signed a new agreement with them.

Tulip09

Somerset wrote: »

Can't help with the benefits, but it sounds like your husband is calling all the shots.
- Where you live, where he lives (the sole signature tenancy agreement is a nice touch .... too busy, right)
- What (if any) he'll pay in child support as he's got these travel costs.
- When he'll have the kids.
- He's decided he's having joint custady and 50% of child benefit & child credit.
- What he'll expect you to pay off the joint debts.

Sounds like he's been planning for awhile. Benefits do need to be looked at - but a good divorce lawyer would be top of my list.

He has been seeing someone else for a few years and i never realised so it really does not surprise me now if he has planned not to move with us eventually. I havent really considered getting a divorce lawyer yet as he only told me a few days ago but it is something i should really be doing. Thanks

Tulip09

Jowo wrote: »

His actions to date haven't demonstrated that fairness is at the front of his mind (actions versus words). See a solicitor now because surely your husband won't mind honouring his legal obligations, given his stated attitude to fairness!

Are you sure you signed this new tenancy agreement in your sole name? Sometimes it is issued after the payment for the 1st months rent and deposit has cleared much closer to the move in date.

Do you think perhaps your husband merely changed the current joint tenancy into his sole name rather than end it? You are quite out of the loop for household admin and I wonder if your husband has been devious. Has any prospective viewers come to this current property to view it? Call the landlord or agent to check if your husband signed a new agreement with them.

I definately signed all the paperwork the new landlord sent and then sent it back to him, unsigned by my husband after explaining he had forgotton to sign it and was unable to sign it for a few weeks. They said that was fine.

I havent shown new people around here but i will phone them just now, and ask about the lease will i have to try and pay both of them?. Thanks.

iamana1ias

How your husband thinks he can claim joint custody when you're 500 miles apart is beyond me. Does he really think the kids should travel 1000 miles a week to see him?!

dmg24

Tulip09 wrote: »

I definately signed all the paperwork the new landlord sent and then sent it back to him, unsigned by my husband after explaining he had forgotton to sign it and was unable to sign it for a few weeks. They said that was fine.

I havent shown new people around here but i will phone them just now, and ask about the lease will i have to try and pay both of them?. Thanks.

It is possible that the new letting agent will not want you to take on the lease when they find out you will be claiming benefits. It may be a get out for you?

Have you got a friend that can help you with this? It would be worth having a sounding board away from your husband, and somewhere to keep any important information you might not want him to see.

iamana1ias wrote: »

How your husband thinks he can claim joint custody when you're 500 miles apart is beyond me. Does he really think the kids should travel 1000 miles a week to see him?!

My ex lives 200 miles from his children (not mine!). He sees them every other weekend, and for every other visit stays down there because he acknowledges it is too much for them to spend their weekends on the motorway.