The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread Part 8!

graemecarter

SimIsOnTheUp wrote: »

Hi guys,

Feel f ucked. At the end of my tether.

Drank Fri and Saturday. Blew £250, so now I have another £500 debt to the Money Shop that I can't pay.

Went drinking on my own in Manchester on Friday night / Saturday daytime, and then carried on drinking on the train back, carrying on when I got home.

Kept having very scary, weird panicky "not feeling like I was in my own head / body" feelings earlier. They've gone thank God.

I'm scared that this is going to kill me.

Woke up in hotel room Fri night / Saturday morning, hardly able to remember a thing.

SSG - I feel for you. Big Hugs at ya. (Have PM'd you)

Sim xx

Hi Sim - I have been away for a few days, so have just caught up.

I had those weird and extremely scary head/body disconnected feelings. I had them on the back of some big binges and when my body clock was screwed. Not pleasant.
It showed me that effects of alcohol on my body and mind was pretty bad. Did it stop me drinking then and there? No, it didn't. I would promise myself that I wouldn't drink like that again. And of course I did.
That's what us alcoholics do - we make promises to ourselves we don't and cannot keep when alcohol is concerned.

Active alcoholism is a very slow and painful form of suicide. I was killing myself slowly in many ways - my relationships were dying, my work was dying, my health (emotional, mental, physical) was suffering too.
It scared me too.

While it is not my fault I am alcoholic, it is my responsibility to prevent it killing me, one day at a time.
Thus I have to do something every single day to make sure I am happy and stable enough so I don't even feel the need to drink.
It doesn't take me long, and I even managed to do what I needed to do when in another country.

My number one priority in LIFE has to be staying sober. Everything I put before that I will lose. If I drink, I would lose family, money, job, and eventually my life. Alcoholism is a killer illness.

Good luck

honeybear_2

My, haven't we got quiet...

Hope everyone, is well

SimIsOnTheUp

graemecarter wrote: »

Hi Sim - I have been away for a few days, so have just caught up.

I had those weird and extremely scary head/body disconnected feelings. I had them on the back of some big binges and when my body clock was screwed. Not pleasant.
It showed me that effects of alcohol on my body and mind was pretty bad. Did it stop me drinking then and there? No, it didn't. I would promise myself that I wouldn't drink like that again. And of course I did.
That's what us alcoholics do - we make promises to ourselves we don't and cannot keep when alcohol is concerned.

Active alcoholism is a very slow and painful form of suicide. I was killing myself slowly in many ways - my relationships were dying, my work was dying, my health (emotional, mental, physical) was suffering too.
It scared me too.

While it is not my fault I am alcoholic, it is my responsibility to prevent it killing me, one day at a time.
Thus I have to do something every single day to make sure I am happy and stable enough so I don't even feel the need to drink.
It doesn't take me long, and I even managed to do what I needed to do when in another country.

My number one priority in LIFE has to be staying sober. Everything I put before that I will lose. If I drink, I would lose family, money, job, and eventually my life. Alcoholism is a killer illness.

Good luck

Hiya Graeme,

Great to hear from you.

How has your week been?

Those 'out of my own head sensations' have gone since Sunday thank God.

Sorry to hear that you had them too. Scary as hell aren't they?

If I'm honest, for years, I drank 'cos I was lonely as hell, and being drunk gave me the confidence (albeit false) to talk to Women. Not very manly to admit, but there you go.

The irony is that booze, in all its un - glory, ostracised me even more!

How do you stay sober when you socialise? Or do you just not bother with going to pubs etc?

I can't believe I was drinking on my own again. Even got the train to Manchester (a city I love) where I know noone, and drank alone there for two days

Haven't touched a drop since Saturday night now.

Had some dosh (ESA) into my account this morning, and I got up first thing to -

1 / Call my Doctor, and have a good chat. I apologised for missing the last couple of appointments and he was ok. Helped me out with beta - blockers and a Doc's note.

2 / I called my Housing Association and paid up my £40 Rent arrears (as I'd promised them last Tuesday)

3 / Called NPower and paid my £11 Electric (as part of a payment plan) on time

Yesterday, I also got the relevant forms posted off re a DWP Budgeting Loan too (which will help me clear half - £250 of the God - awful Money Shop debt. I'd called the DWP, and they seemed 100% sure I'd be eligible for their help which is a huge relief).

Got my application forms to the Severn Trent Trust Fund off too (hopefully they'll help with a couple of my other debts - I can but ask!)

I've found a job I'm going for tomorrow too :T

Hope you're having a relaxing evening Graeme.

Kind Regards,

Sim.

skintscottishgirl

Hi All,

hope everyone is OK tonight

Just a quick declaration of

10 please, thanks......

It's been very quiet, been swithering whether to remain on the thread or not, what with Miss P et al leaving but i am back again....

Whay else can I do?

SSG

XX

maman

Good to hear the positivity on here, especially you sim Good luck with finding a job, I think you need the structure that work can give (and definitely the money but not to spend on booze).

I've had a good day on IOW, not AF but sensible.

Have a good weekend all.

maman

skintscottishgirl wrote: »

Hi All,

hope everyone is OK tonight

Just a quick declaration of

10 please, thanks......

It's been very quiet, been swithering whether to remain on the thread or not, what with Miss P et al leaving but i am back again....

Whay else can I do?

SSG

XX

Well done on your 10 SSG. Glad you're still on board.:T

skintscottishgirl

maman wrote: »

Well done on your 10 SSG. Glad you're still on board.:T

Thankyou Maman,

I am trying but sometimes it is so hard...

Tonight i got a half bottle, but only 2 small bottles of diet coke, which limits me, so while not AF i will at least limit it....

Am a bit scunnered though and I can't help but notice the relation between drinking and feeling a bit depressed....

Hope you are good tonight...

I am a bit half cut but will be paying the price tomorrow, and I am confident I will be OK in the long run...


Thanks

PS Ransom starring the yummy Mel Gibson is on BBC1 any takers?

SSG

XX

SimIsOnTheUp

Mamam - Thanks. Once I have some structure back, things will be a lot easier yes!

Great to hear you've been sensible. Enjoy your weekend

SSG - How are you doing?

Sim x

skintscottishgirl

SimIsOnTheUp wrote: »

Mamam - Thanks. Once I have some structure back, things will be a lot easier yes!

Great to hear you've been sensible. Enjoy your weekend

SSG - How are you doing?

Sim x

Well actually Sim I am OK in one way and falling apart in another but that's life for all of us no?

XX

skintscottishgirl

But I do feel at least I don't involve anyone else in what are essentially my issues and problems

I am doing the best I can