How and what am i going to tell my 2 boys?

Feisty_Fairy

LoLo wrote:

Hi, just wanted to say that I told my child that his great grandad had gone to be a star in the sky when he died and he often told me he wanted to go see him, so on what would have been his birthday we let a balloon into the sky and he watched it till he could no longer see it. I then told my child that he could not see it as his great grandad had got it.

Thats lovely and im sure my boys would love to do that, alos as a way to say goodbye. Thanks for that lovely idea.

Feisty_Fairy

jellyhead wrote:

just wanted to send a hug *HUG*

is this their first death experience? any pets died?

Hi thanks for the hug, only a couple of goldfish really and they didnt seem bothered with that really, they seem to be fine now, the questions will come a long in dribs and drabs i suppose, thanks again.

Feisty_Fairy

moo_moo wrote:

So sorry to hear your sad news. I lost my nan last year and my children where 16 14 11 and 6mths. None of them had a chance to see her and say goodbyes and this really upset them so i got them to write a letter to her saying all the things they thought they should have said. These letters were then put with Nan. This really helped them. Your eldest could make a card for her? Although my children were older than yours i would never say she had gone to sleep as i know of friends children who were told this and it affected there own sleep and frightened them.
like you i feel spirtiual and believe my Nan is around. My mum has been and still is deeply affected by the loss of Nan and i find myself being strong for her, this in its self has helped me as Nan would want me to look after her.
Not sure if this helps but my thoughts are with you. take care

Hi, thanks for your reply, the card idea is lovely and they would like this, so the eldest willmake it and they can both do their own thing and then i will 'send' to Gran for them, not sure how im gonna explain that one yet, also gonna do the balloon thing as i think they can relate to that, also gonna let them attach a goodbye kiss each to the balloon.
Thanks for your kind words.

Feisty_Fairy

Just a quick thanks again to all of you, you have been more help than you know!

Debbie1957uk

Rikki wrote:

I have lost close family members when my children were young.
I told them about their Great-Gran. She went to sleep and forgot to wake up.

Sorry but i really think this is something you should not say to children.It could make them scared to go to sleep in case they "forget" to wake up too.

Dustykitten

Really feeling for you at this difficut time. I too lost my Dad 18 months ago and had to tell my children who were then nearly 3, 8 and 10. We had had death experiences with pets before so they had the general idea.

All of them dealt with it very differently which is fine. The eldest was very reserved about it, would not talk about it. The middle one cried a lot and talked a lot and asked lots of tough questions (sorry, but things like when will he be a skeleton etc) . The little one got angry and kept demanding for him to come back.

My mum and sister were devasted.

My biggest thought though is for you. You have a loss too. Please don't do what I did and not give yourself time to grieve and become preoccupied with dealing with how everybody else is coping. There is no right way to deal with it and all of your feelings will change as the days pass. Take care of yourself.