Social Services, should I contact them or not

pemalu

I have a divorce agreement which says my ex has contact with children every fortnight on weekend. Every year he's been trying to change the contact to suit his needs. Every time he bullies me.

I tried getting into child welfare hearing and he didn't show up in court. I don't have any more money to pay lawyer. I work on weekends that the children are with him so I have an obligation to my employer.

Now he wants me to be available to suit his needs anytime through the year. He has new family, with 3 yo son. My children with him are 11 and 8.

I have been told that by law I am liable if I leave them alone at home and I can't take them to work with me.

I tried Mediation organization but my ex did not show up. Our communication has broken down a year ago and he used my son to communicate with me. When i told him that our son shouldn't be used for that, he continue with abusive e-mail.

I have no family at all to help. I don't have many friends as I work all 5 days during the week (school hours) and the weekends that children are away (2nd job).

I seriously need help for my ex to carry on his responsibility so I can work and earn the needed money.

Does anybody have experience with Social Services. Are they the right people to contact? I live in Scotland. Is it the Child Protection Agency I need to contact, or is it Children 1st?

robpw2

not really sure what you expect social services to do ..take your children away ? put them in care so you can go to work
the only way you can get the ex to do something is to go through the court system they are the only body who can enforce an order for your ex to comply with .

ErisBadb

Hi - are you eligible for working tax credits and if so the childcare element? It may be possible to get help towards childcare when you are at work.
It may also be the case if you drop your weekend work and if your income is low enough you may be entitled to some benefit. A ' better off ' calculation could help you see this.
From the experience of my friend in England it is very hard / slow trying to get the other parent to comply with contact arrangements through SS / courts - ( this may just be her experience though ) -

And :
There is no law which sets an age limit at which children can or cannot be left alone. The only circumstances in which an age limit exists is where a parent or guardian fails to protect a child under 12 from risk of burning. In these circumstances, the parent or guardian can be prosecuted.
However, if any child at any age is thought to be neglected or at risk of significant harm, the parents may be prosecuted under criminal proceedings or the child may be taken into care by the local authority. The judgment on whether a child was at risk would depend on a number of factors including the age and development of the child, and the environment in which s/he was left.


Finally a lone parent organisation - there may be some support here.
Gingerbread (Scotland)
1014 Argyle Street
Glasgow
G3 8LX

Tel: 0141 576 5085/7976

tanith

There is no way you can force your ex to have the children at any particular time however many times you take him to court or arbitration , you describe someone who is going to continue to be awkward for awkwards sake . As others have said are you claiming all that you can? Maybe to save yourself the stress you just give up your second job as its only a few hours... and persue any other benefit you may be due..

DX2

Does your ex pays child support?

pemalu

Thank you for your responses.

I do claim tax credit etc. Unfortunately childminders & school clubs are closed on weekends thus I cannot claim childcare element for this.

Ex pays child support. I went through CSA but they told me that due to his position in the company (Finance Director) it is difficult for them to get true figures. He can play around in dividens, pension etc.

The 2nd job is important to me, I want to keep this job. Last tax year I earned around 800 after tax. I also get other benefits from the job which my children enjoy. Even with the top up from 2nd job, benefit, it's a struggle to make ends meet.

I went through court but he just didn't bother to show up. I cannot afford lawyer fees anymore. I had legal aid for the divorce but I end up paying his share of the house. As I end up having a property, apparently the lawyer's billing will change. I haven't received the bill yet but last year I was told it already added up to >2K.

Any other suggestion what I could do about this problem?

RAS

Hi

Have you actually tried to find someone who is registered who can take the children alternate weekends or even occasionally? Given the economic climate, I would have thought someone would bite your hand off.

tanith

There is no other answer , either your ex has the children (which you have no control over), you find someone else to look after them or you give up the job... those are your choices ...and leaving them to fend for themselves shouldn't enter your head at their ages..

pemalu

Yes I have. The problem is my 2nd job's workload is unpredictable. I can do from 3-10 hours, it's not a shift work so I finish when the load is done. There is only one registered babysitting service here and they charge 75% higher than the wage I'm paid.

Few years ago I was using a childminder which annual cost came down to around £2 per week and HMRC wouldn't pay for that amount.

My children are in tears with the prospect of not seeing their dad anymore. Yet their dad is playing us around. Would anybody know how I can get their contact arrangement withdrawn without going through solicitor?

nannytone_2

why would you want to withdraw contact? ok he might be an awkward idiot but he is the father of your kids and its them that would suffer!
btw....you chose him as their father....they didnt have any choice!

GEEGEE8

2k in fee's last year, but you earnt £800 in the weekend job?