Do you use the naughty step technique?

r.mac_2

mr cow - she wouldn't even taste the food! I do know what you mean though. And yours is a valid point

meritaten

I am a child minding nan and have used the naughty step technique since my grandson was two - yes he is very intelligent and understands WHY he is being punished! since my son and DIL dont believe in smacking (neither do I) then this is the best approach in my view - it takes the child out of the situation and as long as you tell them WHY they are on the naughty step and make sure they say sorry after (and mean it) then I think its appropriate. its NOT appropriate if the child has a behavour disorder such as ADHD or Aspergers or Autism. as they dont understand why they are being punished.
does the child understand NO? if not then this needs working on first! after that comes the warning, and dont give more than one! retribution needs to be immediate. as the child gets older then you CAN give more than one warning - but you wont need to!
also - dont speak to the child on the naughty step and dont shout at them while they are on it! the naughty step is for them to take time out and calm down............not for parents to berate them.
as soon as time is out then take the child off and talk calmly to them, remind them why they went on naughty step and ask if they understand. if they dont explain that what they did was bad and they had to go and sit quietly. once they understand this then tell them they must say sorry to the person they hurt or upset.
sounds a long drawn out process but most kids grasp it easily! my grandson only needs one warning and he stops any bad behaviour its rare no for him to actually go on the naughty step and it really upsets him if he does. so I think it works.
but parents and carers MUST be consistent and although you may be mad as hell with the kid - you MUST be calm and almost dispassionate about this discipline. NO shouting or swearing! the naughty step is the punishment and this is what most kids hate!

Becles

My daughter is 3 and for the last year I've followed a series of steps.

First I ask her in a sharp firm voice not to do something.

2nd time - she gets told in a sharp firm voice that if she does it again, she'll face the consequences

3rd time - the consequence happens

Depending on what she is doing, the consequences could be the naughty step, being moved away from what she's doing or having the item removed from her.

That seems to work well. Sometimes she'll stop at 1 or 2, and other times we have to go through everything. She knows she's done wrong, as she'll come and say sorry afterwards and gives me a hug and kiss.

r.mac_2

thanks meritatan - good point about working on the concept of no. We've managed that one and she has just started learning the concept of sorry - so we have to work further on that before trying out the technique. Thanks for that - great stuff. I think I'll practice working on the 'being dispassionate' bit

r.mac_2

becles - I don't believe charlotte is ever naughty - she is so cute and funny! Finally LO is at that causing me a sore tummy because I'm laughing so much at her antics/phrases etc. It always makes me think of your funny stories on the parenting thread.

I like your 3 steps.

onlyroz

My daughter is 18 months and she can get quite contrite when she wants to. E.g. today she was throwing a tantrum about having her shoes and socks put on - so I threw the shoes and socks down on the floor and told her to . She then toddled off to pick them up and brought them back to me, with her "sorry" face on, and let me put them on her without a fuss...

zenmaster

A few months back I was looking after my grandson (just under 2) and he drew on the hallway walls with lipstick or something similar. I got a bowl of water and started to clean it off and he got a cloth from somewhere (I think it was a face flannel from the downstairs loo ) and started to help me.

This was so much fun that on his next visit he did it again, only on this occasion it was permanent marker. This time I was cross so, thinking he couldn't really help, I collected the bowl of water and told him he had to sit on the naughty step. He knew exactly what I meant and went and sat on the step at the foot of the stairs. After about 15 minutes I managed to get most of it off (some of it is still there) so I made a cup of tea and went to do some work on the computer. 10 minutes or so later I became aware of a gentle sobbing - I'd forgotten to release him from the naughty step. Bless his cotton socks, he wouldn't move until I told him it was OK. I still feel guilty about it now.

silvercar

My kids are so tall, I need to stand on the naughty step to tell them off; otherwise I am looking up to them and trying to be authoratitive.

jimbms

Forget the kids, she uses it on me.

r.mac_2

silvercar wrote: »

My kids are so tall, I need to stand on the naughty step to tell them off; otherwise I am looking up to them and trying to be authoratitive.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

my MIL said a similiar thing!!!