Do you use the naughty step technique?

r.mac_2

Just interested to know how you deal with toddler/young children and discipline.

Do you use the 'naughty step' technique or a version of it? If not, what did you do when your child 'broke the rules'?

What age did you start?

Glamazon

Hello missus

I've seen them do it on LO's about 3yo on SuperNanny. I have the book, I'll see if it says in there.

[Deleted User]

We started using the naughty step at around 2.5yr, maybe a bit older, when old enough to understand. A year on and still using it but not daily, its one of the last resorts. He's never tried to get off and always sat there and done his time.

Our daughter now 2.5 has been doing it for 6 months as she's seen big bro in action. She's such a copy cat and quite often deliberately does the thing Jack has been put on the step for, then takes herself off to join him!

Glamazon

"The techniques outlined in the following section (The Naughty Step) are appropriate for children over the age of 2 and a half unless your child is very advanced." SuperNanny book

Is there a particular thing LO is doing? I can see if its covered if you like

r.mac_2

thanks glam. LO is now 18 months and has a real personality*. We are ignoring behaviour we don't like, but there have been instances where I feel I have to intervene to stop an action such as biting or hitting. I, persoanlly think she's too young to understand the naughty step technique (I don't think their brains are developed enough until they are about 2) but wondered what else I could use, other peoples experiences and so on.....

*as a complete aside she reminds me of the nursery rhyme, 'there was a little girl, with a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good she waas very very good, but when she was bad she was horrid!'. Yesterday she wouldn't eat any dinner, so when I asked if she could pop a spoonful in her mouth in a sing song voice, she looked at me, furrowed her brow, said, 'No, No, No, finished' and picked up her plate and flung it over her head. I had to leave the room as it was so funny (but only after I breathed in a few deep breaths - I'm not always that calm!).

Glamazon

I find it really hard not to laugh at Jack when he is naughty.

I'm off to bed now, but will have a look tomorrow and see if there's anything in there like that.

I do like SuperNanny

r.mac_2

glam - thanks. I think she is pretty advanced (of course I do I'm her mummy!!!!) She does have good understanding and great speach but I know she wouldn't grab the concept. She's too young. I'm glad to know that supernanny agrees with me Any tips greatfully received!

chelle230

we've always used to use time out, from the age of about 2 years. It's like the naughty step, but just a quiet corner somewhere, still 1 minute per year, and the nursery do this too so consistency helps.

he is always warned before he is put on time out. we rarely do time out now as found it stopped working for a time.

we used sticker charts too, when he earned so many stickers he could pick a treat, he had a bag with £1 or £2 bits in so he could choose.

when the sticker chart started failing we use consequence, he still gets warned, but we will take something away, like the tv or laptop. or he could only read books for so long, no toys, etc. he has even lost going to his regular gymnastics class as his behaviour was so bad.
this seems to work a lot better than the other techniques at the moment.

the main thing is you follow through with whatever you warn, as then the think you are a pushover and keep up the bad behaviour. I learnt this myself after backing down on a few occasions!

mrcow

I do. Not really a naughty step, but a removal from the situation e.g. if they had a tantrum at a party, then we'd go. No ifs or buts, we'd be out of there. If they misbehaved at a playgroup, then we'd go home (and on more than one occasion we never ever went back there).

I don't do a "timing" thing - I think that's completely pointless - as far as I am concerned, they sit out until they are ready to apologise for what they have done. When they are ready, they can get up and come and find me and then will apologise to whomever needs to hear it.

I did this from the age where the child is old enough to understand what they are doing is unacceptable (this will vary with each child - but usually at around 18 months as they understand what you are saying by then and can speak for themselves too). As a parent, you should know when is right.

At home, I tend to confiscate things more. So if someone misbehaves, then they'll lose their newest toy or a pudding at dinnertime more than likely. It works really well with the three of them as not getting a cake when everyone else is focusses your mind quite well when you are young.

I don't really use many discipline techniques any more (the oldest is 8 and the youngest is 3) as they don't really misbehave to the point where it's needed. The worst they do these day is bickering. If that gets out of hand, then I certainly wouldn't "time out" for that as it's overkill.

I have three rules though;

1. Don't overkill when disciplining - you'll seem unfair.
2. Always dish out a warning beforehand to allow the child to have the choice of behaviour
3. Always be consistent - no favourites. And don't hold grudges. Allow them to improve and praise accordingly if they do.

mrcow

r.mac - chucking a plate on the floor when you are 2 isn't really naughty. It's more a signal that she's finished. Kind of "the End"! If she continued to do that, I would just give her dinner straight onto the clean tray of the highchair and would dispense with the bowl/plate completely when she's feeding herself.

They'll come a day when you'll look back on the whole "spitting food back at you" phase with great affection.

r.mac_2

mrcow - they seem like fair and good rules which I think I'll adopt

She often knows what she shouldn't be doing and will say 'no, no, no' as she's doing it - those times I know its to see my reaction and I've found ignoring it works (at the moment). Other times she is trying to express (!) her dissatisfaction at something (like picking up my hand and biting it) and that I find harder to deal with. DOn't get me wrong though - she's not being very bad and its not a huge issue - I'm just trying to be proactive towards these things so that it never becomes a huge issue.It's just that what I see as appropriate behaviour and good manners are important to me

thanks for all your tips and info. Its apprciated.