Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly

hypno06

I hope one of you peeps who is going to cheer us on in Edinburgh is going to bring us some much needed jaffa cakes for the finish!!

ZTD

pania wrote: »

you see z if i lost 2 stone and toned up and gained a few extra inches upper body length that could almost be me..... :rotfl:

That could be you if you opened your eyes when looking in the mirror...

pania

Hey guys thanks for all your comments while i've been away for the last few days and it would be fantastic to see you at the start/finish line of whatever events you can get to. but if there arent atleast ten of you in paris i will be very very disappointed!! :rotfl:
Right so, time needed to take stock of this month, where i stand at the moment and things i need to work on and get sorted!
Today i have been a little naughty and have had associated guilt trip for the rest of the day. I have eaten too much, spent too much, most of which was entirely needless and seem to be intent to sabotage my weight loss and my financial stability. I am going to be honest and say that I think with me all of this is entirely psychological. I dont feel I deserve to be slim/have it easy with money so therefore deliberatly sabotage it!! else why do I know what i need to do and why do i deliberately not do it? I dont think it is fear of facing the situation, I think maybe i have got so used to this being "my life" over the years that I forget that I have the options to change that and it is all in my control. I have a nice relationship with a lovely man, I have plans for next year that i know will make me feel good so why do i hinder myself??? Baffles me!!!
I am wise enough to know that this journey isnt just about tackling debt but tackling the mindset that goes with it too. so if it is ok I will enlist you guys to boot me up the butt as often as neede if ok and if harsh words are required then dont hold back!! a mindset adjustment is required here..

I AM GOOD ENOUGH!!!!!!!

right, with that in mind I think I am going to start keeping a paper diary along with this online one. the £4.99 completely unecessary spend that I made today was a gooooorgeous eeyore notebook that i looked at, said "i want" (yes, actually out loud, whilst in a shop, on my own :rotfl:) and bought without a second thought... until I walked out the shop and the guilt started!! so I will use that.

I have managed to pick up another weeks dog sitting next thursday to tuesday inclusive at £30 per day so that will pick me up another £180. D really wants to go for a week away at the end of september (yes i'd love to too but a holiday is a massive luxury for me and i have other things i could spend the money on but i know he (thinks he) needs a holiday so i'm kind of in the position where I have to save as much as possible between now and then ) I just need to do it as MSE as possible. my budget shows that I have £250 surplus at the end of this month. With another store cupboard challenge, a bit of matched betting and ebay etc then i should be able to keep all of that and maybe increase it too. which would be good.
Tomorrow is a new day, a run as soon as i get in from work, none of this "i'm tired so i'll go later" crap because, lets be honest, later never comes, and then concentration on budgets, feebay listing, and any mb offers that are out there at the moment. so that is Plan A part A. for now, sleepybyes.. Bedfordshire here i come!! night night all x

pania

ZTD wrote: »

That could be you if you opened your eyes when looking in the mirror...

instead of the blob i see at the moment???:o

REDMADCURLS

yes you are most certainly good enough and you are also good enough to give yourself a break............today was not Zen like but today is over, or it will be in 90 mins, so leave those negative guilt feelings right here.

You have had a hell of an emotional roller coaster ride in the last few days and today was the fallout..............a little self care. Granted it is not the self care you want but hey it still was enjoyable at the time................and then in pops the devil on your left shoulder to beat you up because it keeps reminding you you are are not worth it. Tell the devil to f off and let the angel on your right shoulder care for you.

That same angel encourages healthy self care too and tomorrow will help you run (and will punch the devil when he says nah don't bother)

The holiday is now a necessity - so get that into your scone (head) and begin to plan

xx

ZTD

pania wrote: »

instead of the blob i see at the moment???:o

Blobs don't run. You do. Therefore you're not a blob.

QED.

taxi73

You are definitely good enough and don't think otherwise

MrsMoo2U

Hi,
sometimes you need a little break in the monotony of debt busting to give you a renewed energy so the holiday should be seen as a necessity not a luxury. If your lovely man is aware of your situation as you say he is then I am sure he will understand the doing things on a smaller budget and be prepared to support that. As for being a blob, well what can I say? The last time I saw Mr Blobby running it wasnt in the events that you have mentioned and if it was he didnt get very far unlike the progress you are making. I hope that you dont mind but I came across something yesterday that I posted on my diary, it seemed apt at the time and I think it covers this situation too.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Used by Nelson Mandela in his 1994 inaugural speech

You said it yourself in a slightly different way. Maybe you just need to change the lightbulbs or put a bit of money into the meter to brighten the light. Hence the holiday.

pania

gosh such wise words guys thank you. and cheri that quote is excellent and sums it up perfectly, i have printed it out and sellotaped it to the side of my computer at work!! and red the angel is definitely back on my shoulder today and booting the devil constantly in the noggin!! So today is a new day and zen like calm is mine all mine.... xx

pania

ps and i've just had a bowl of alpen and an apple so back on the diet bandwagon!