What would you do?

pukkamum

If_My_Pennies_Were_Pounds wrote: »

Didn't mention what in my OP? As it is you who is making assumptions here I would appreciate if you could only give advice on the facts.

I am the younger sister, I've never mentioned ages or who is older...so please don't go fabricating stories.

And how is her saying she will repay something every month resulting in me not sticking to the agreement?! I told her I don't mind how she pays it, ie £10 a month or £50 a month (which she suggested and not me) or anything in between.

I have also told her that I wouldn't mind if she came to me and said 'I won't be able to afford anything this month' but every month she has said 'I'll be putting money in your account this month' and then nothing happens.

You didn't actually say that she had defaulted in an agreement to pay every month you stated that you gave her til september to pay and when she offered to pay every month you agreed and said you weren't concerned about the amount.
Perhaps she took your apathy over the amount etc to mean that you don't need to the money.

If she has defaulted on a definate monthly arrangement then fair enough but if she is still under the assumption that you are happy to wait til next year then i don't see what she has done worng.

If_My_Pennies_Were_Pounds

Thanks, sorry I thought I had cleared that up in another post after my OP.

I really don't want to cause arguments and family fall-outs over this as there are more important things in life.

I guess it is just frustrating when she is spending lots of money on the wedding etc and tells me there is money coming my way each month but never actually arrives.

If_My_Pennies_Were_Pounds

I'd like to clear up that it was never an issue that I had said until September 2011 for it to be paid. I did say that to her and I stand by it. And before anyone jumps down my throat, I was merely stating that the saving spending money for Florida doesn't apply anymore, not the agreement.

The issue is that she has agreed to give me some money every month and hasn't.

pukkamum

Perhaps pennies as she is spending so much money at the moment on the wedding she has put paying you monthly on the back burner until all the wedding costs are paid, after all even if she doesn't start paying you back until sep this year this still has a full year to pay which is very doable.
If it is worrying you then why not just talk to her, you don't need to fall out just remind her that you will need the money next year, or even just 'mention' what you intend to do with the money as a gentle nudge.

If_My_Pennies_Were_Pounds

Thanks pukkamum.

As I have said I have already told her that if she was to say 'I can't afford it at the moment with the wedding' or 'Can I leave it this month' then I would be fine with it. She said thanks for letting her know she can do that.

It's just how to tackle her telling me I will be receiving money and that she can afford it, when she obviously can't at the moment...

I would rather her say there won't be any money for x amount of months than keep telling me she will pay each month and then not following through...

At the end of the day she is my sister and I won't force her to pay me, or put loads of pressure on her.

BitterAndTwisted

What would I do?

I'd sit tight and say nothing while privately I'd be rather cross about it. But not cross enough to cause an argument with my nearest and dearest over it. Family rifts have been caused by much less and it's truly not worth the risk. Not for only £550 it isn't imo

it's always disappointing when other people don't seem to share our own set of priorities, especially where money is concerned but such is life...

Dave101t

id demand the money immediately or face being cut out my life.
dont feel harsh, afterall you said they fob you off again and again.

ive lent money before to family and even with genuine cases it can take ages longer than you expect to get it back, best thing is to learn from it and never lend money again.

pollyanna24

I know people keep saying that the agreement is that the money will be repaid by September 2011, so what is the problem, but the thing with families is they tend to think things like this aren't all that important.

If you don't say anything about it, September 2011 will roll around, you will mention it to her and she will be like, "Oh yea, forgot about that. I'll pay you £10 a month from now if that's okay" and this is if you are lucky.

At the same time, I know if you do mention it all the time, she will feel like you are harping on, but I would still do it every now and again.

Pee

I would leave it until after the wedding, when she's had a chance to calm down, but maybe not get any credit card bills, and then have a chat about it. Perhaps tell her what you intend to do with the money and say you wanted to discuss how the payments will work. She still has a year to pay the money, but you have hopefully avoided an argument at a stressful time for her.