What would you do?

If_My_Pennies_Were_Pounds

Hi everyone, looking for a little bit of advice please. (Sorry if this is long!)

I currently have a student loan that has a £1020 balance. I know this isn't a huge debt, but it's a debt all the same, and my only one at that, so I'd like to clear it asap and be debt free.

My problem is that my sister owes me money, £550 to be exact - nearly half of my debt...

To give you a little bit of background. When we both lived at home we shared a car, however when we both moved out it was impossible to keep the arrangement so it was agreed that I would buy a new car and she would give me half of the value of the one we shared.

When this agreement was made we were meant to be going to Florida for a family holiday in September 2011, and I had said that as long as the money was all paid by then it didn't matter how she paid it, as it would be my spending money saved up for the holiday.

However, since then things have changed. I should add at this point that my sister is currently a student at uni (she was about to start uni when we arranged this which is why she kept the car and I bought a new one) and so she doesn't have as much money now as when we shared our car. My sister is now engaged and getting married next August, hence no family holiday in September.

She has already paid me £150 but hasn't paid anything since April and has since been spending left, right and center on the wedding. Now I know that I had said she had until September next year to pay it, but now that everything has changed that doesn't really apply anymore.

Everytime I ask about payments she gets angry and says I'm moaning at her and being unreasonable.

So my question is, am I being unreasonable? And how would you approach the situation?

alys_fowler

personally i would have a chat with her and tell her how it stands dont let her fob you off if she has money to pay for wedding things then she has money to pay you back, i think personally she is being selfish in not giving you back what she owes you. actually do you have proof that she owes you this money anything written down because you could i know it sounds harsh tell her you may have to search ways and means of retrieving your money

Fang_3

You gave her until September 2011, so until then you don't really have a leg to stand on. If the holiday was still happening then you wouldn't have the money until then.

If_My_Pennies_Were_Pounds

Thanks for the replies.

No I don't have anything in writing as I didn't believe it would be a problem getting money from her! Like I said, she wasn't getting married at this point.

I know we initially said September 2011, but that was with her saying that she would pay me something (not a set amount) every month.

She hasn't given me any money since April and I feel like she could at least give me £10-£20 as a token...meanwhile she is paying for the wedding when I think she should be treating the money she owes me as a debt.

Maybe I'm wrong...

ClareEmily

I really wouldn't fall out with your sister over money especially a relatively small amount like this.

It does sound like she will pay you back, having paid you £150 already.

Your sister is a student and getting married, money will be very tight, be a good sibling but follow the golden rule don't lend money to friends or family.

Just IHO, I have given my sister tons of money over the years (when she was a struggling student), I will never get it back, yes more fool me but I love her all the same, and have written it off.

dixie_dean_2

I would say to her that you really need the money as you're in a lot of debt and that if should could pay any of it back before next year that would be great but if not then september will be fine. Don't get het up about it - it's not worth it.

Idiophreak

I don't think that her getting married, you not going on holiday etc really changes a whole lot - if you'd agreed on having the whole lot paid back by next September, that's when you should still expect it by. If you had verbal agreement, however, that a repayment would be made every month, it's worth saying to her "you still owe £400...to clear this by next September you need to be paying me £27/month. Don't whinge on at her about it, just mention it. Then in two months say "in order to clear this by next September you now need to pay me £31/month" and so on.

As you say, if she's spending on a wedding, there's no excuse for her not giving you a tenner each month as a token...

If_My_Pennies_Were_Pounds

Sorry if I didn't make it clear, she was due me £700, she has paid £150 so has £550 outstanding.

This is my problem as I don't want to seem unreasonable, cause any arguments etc But I know (from experience) if it was the other way round she would be hounding me for the money...

retireby50

Since the arrangement was made (and going simply on the information you have given) your expenditure has reduced (no holiday in September 2011) and hers has increased (wedding to pay for). Personally I'd chill about it..........

And I'm a bloke who things what is spent on weddings nowadays is obscene, but she'll be feeling pressure from family, friends and society to make it "special".............

Wedding present = suitable reduction in amount she owes you?

Kay_Peel

Your sister has decided, without any discussion with you, that she will not repay her debts to you. She's running around in a car that you paid for (to cut a long story short) and that she still owes you £550 for.

Instead of considering herself lucky to have a sister who would give her a means of transport she chooses to ignore her commitments and accuse you of moaning about the outstanding debt.

Not only that - I assume that she intends to go deeper into debt during the build up to her wedding in 12 months time. How else does a student pay for such a major expense?

You are expected to see this as reasonable behaviour and put up with it. You will probably never see another penny because she has other things to pay for and has got her car. She's alright then!

You meanwhile, have been treated abominably. Your good deed is being thrown back in your face, there is no prospect of repayment until the wedding is paid for and your debt hangs around your neck.

She's a short-sighted, selfish fool who is in danger of losing the trust and respect of her sister if she doesn't get back on track with her repayments.

Personally, I would take her car-keys and drive the car to a friends' house and keep it there until she came to her senses!

Fang_3

Kay_Peel wrote: »

Your sister has decided, without any discussion with you, that she will not repay her debts to you. She's running around in a car that you paid for (to cut a long story short) and that she still owes you £550 for.

Instead of considering herself lucky to have a sister who would give her a means of transport she chooses to ignore her commitments and accuse you of moaning about the outstanding debt.

Not only that - I assume that she intends to go deeper into debt during the build up to her wedding in 12 months time. How else does a student pay for such a major expense?

You are expected to see this as reasonable behaviour and put up with it. You will probably never see another penny because she has other things to pay for and has got her car. She's alright then!

You meanwhile, have been treated abominably. Your good deed is being thrown back in your face, there is no prospect of repayment until the wedding is paid for and your debt hangs around your neck.

She's a short-sighted, selfish fool who is in danger of losing the trust and respect of her sister if she doesn't get back on track with her repayments.

Personally, I would take her car-keys and drive the car to a friends' house and keep it there until she came to her senses!

And you would rightly be arrested.

You could see this from the sister's point of view. Through no fault of her own she's had to buy half of a car because her sister has ceased to honor an agreement between them of sharing the car bought jointly. They've then made an agreement that the sister will buy it off her before next September, but now that the sister that caused this entire situation in the first place has decided that she wants her money early. Which is unacceptable and selfish.

Come back in October if she's not given it to you, then you'll have a right to moan.