Halls of Residence Dilemma

[Deleted User]

Have you asked if there's a secure bike park at the halls? - it seems, from the other forum I posted a link to earlier, that there's a car park - so there's also likely somewhere for a bike - the distance is easily bikeable.

Is your son perhapse a bit stressed about the results and avoiding making decisions (and seeing things more negatively) as he's stressed and confused? Or do you believe his concerns are genuine pronlems that will cause him difficulty during the year (I'm sure you know him very well)?

Try to ignore "bashing" posts - I've always been very independent, but if it wasn't for my parent's help, advice and experience sorting out uni and accomodation in the first year etc I'm sure things would have been a nightmare!! I may not have said it to them at the time - but I'm very grateful

pimento

I think his results are worrying him, yes. He'd never admit it though. He does have two conditional offers (the other one being Kingston) and it wouldn't bother him which one he went to. Kingston would be closer to the London venues he likes to visit.. This may be making him prevaricate.

If he does spectacularly badly, he says he will go into clearing and if he fails, he says he'll go to New Zealand (he has dual citizenship so this would be a go'er).

He's a man with a plan alright. I don't want to rain on his parade but I do want to keep his feet on the ground if I can. (It's that control freakery I'm so good at again)

flossy_splodge

pimento wrote: »

I'm getting lots of advice here and a bit of a bashing. My son isn't a mummy's boy at all, he's an independent lad who does what he wants, goes to festivals on his own (and has done since he was just 16) and two or three times a week goes to concerts in London (an hour away) on his own. I don't wear an apron, so he's not tied to the strings but I am a control freak and husband and son have got used to it over the years.

Once he goes, I won't be on his case all the time, but as neither his dad or me went to university, I just wanted to canvas some advice on here as there's usually loads of people who know what they're talking about. If it was up to him, he'd do nothing until results day and we'd be chasing around trying to find digs. If he did that, the world wouldn't end, but if he can be guided by a bit of advice, then why not? Isn't that a parent's job?

Incidentally, I haven't just taken over, he did ask for my help.

Thanks for all the ideas though, keep them coming!

Hey, no intention to upset.
I agree with you doing things for the very best reasons, just wanted to offer the thought that it is too easy if you care and especially if you know you will miss them like hell, to step up a bit too smartly.
You sound like a caring and committed parent, no intention to suggest otherwise. xx

pimento

Not you Splodge, Kai.

elfen

I lived away from home for ages before uni and I'm nearly in my second year now, but my mum still asks if I want to move back home. I might consider it after uni....especially if I could get a job in Canterbury/Ashford.

WolfSong2000

I think your son will be fine in the halls...as someone has already mentioned, it's much easier to meet people and make friends in catered halls (I can confirm this ). If his flat is anything like mine was my first year at uni (Aberdeen), then it will be sufficient, even if he has to be a little inventive! Just tell him to remember not to leave pots/pans, etc in the kitchen as they may well go walkabout!

kai666

pimento wrote: »

Not you Splodge, Kai.

Sorry, no offence intended. Just at that age my mum wouldn't have made those sorts of phone calls for me and come onto the internet to sort it out for me. I would have been mortified had my mum plastered such things all over an internet forum. I had to sort things out for myself. I just think at that age you should be old and brave enough to get on the phone yourself.

i know you are doing what you think is best. But at some point he needs to do things for himself.

Going to festivals and concerts in london isn't quite the same as taking responsibility, making your own decisions and sorting things out for yourself

Angelic

It might sound strange but I don't think this is about where he might be living/bikes etc
I think he is scared of the big changes that are about to happen

Premier_2

pimento wrote: »

My son has had an offer of halls of residence at Portsmouth University but they're not his first choice (in fact, they were not any of his choices) and I don't know what to do.

His offer is for a single ensuite room part catered and the accommodation is a bus ride (there's a free bus between 0730 and midnight Mon-Fri) away from the uni.

It's the part catered bit that's putting him off as the kitchenettes provided are only equipped with microwaves, mini oven and hob and fridge freezer and in the words of the uni are 'suitable for cooking snacks only'. There is a canteen where he will be given five vouchers a week for meals. Presumably, the rest of the time it will be chicken ding in the microwave or take aways.

My son is keen to cook his own food and thinks that the canteen will be like school meals and he wants to be able to cook low fat/low carb high protein stuff (yes, I know...)

According to the offer letter, this will be his only offer and there's no chance of being offered anything else. The £200 deposit has to be paid by July 26.

My son says he'd rather go into private rented, but I'm not so keen on this because the halls is £86 a week inclusive of electric and broadband, whereas he'll have to find this money as extras in private rented.

Should I pay the £200 and try to talk him into the halls? Maybe offer to drive down there again (we're in Essex) to see the location and perhaps the canteen menu?

Or should I let him go private rented and if so, what should I be looking out for?

HELP!

As this is a moneysaving site, the idea of paying for 5 meals a week and not taking them, but wanting to buy yet more food to replace them with because he's a fussy eater doesn't sound on the face of it as a good moneysaving idea.

However, at £86 a week that includes 5 meals, it does sound reasonably cheap, especially as he'll probably only be paying for 37 weeks a year compared to 52 in most private rentals. (but of course he'll only get the room for 37 weeks too)

Also he'll get to meet a lot more people in the part catered hall, and hopefully some people he'll get on with that he would feel confident sharing a place with in future years. It'll be much more difficult if he tries to go it alone from the outset.

dave2

While personally I think there's a lot of personal preference in where you live, which I don't think any of us can help with, it's easy to underestimate what IMHO (from experience) is by far the most important factor in 1st year uni accommodation -

Cazza wrote: »

I think i the first year, your one will make more friends in halls, which will enable him to make decisions about who he lives with and where he lives in later years.