It's STILL tough and not getting better - so how are we coping?

elisamoose

purpleheather2810 wrote: »

Helping out in schools, either voluntarily or paid support staff, is blimmin hard work and I take my hat off to all the lunchtime supervisors, TAs and helpers that do a fantastic job on or near NMW!

Went to the haberdashery counter on the market and also tried dunelm but couldn't get buttons for the school cardis. I will try ebay - although I can't actually SEE them then...

Thanks for the vote of thanks................until you have worked in a school you don't realise how stressful the responsibility for looking after other peoples kids can be !
And please bear in mind that although most support roles are term time only /school hours , these may not match your own kids pick up times and also that schools can and do change the start and finish times at will.
Add in the fact that problems / meetings / events happen after school and you soon come to realise it is not always possible to just leave at the end of the school day.

Lindy_-_Loo

jackieglasgow wrote: »

Good for you, Lindy - Loo, I have a friend who now works at the school after years of volunteering there. Our school simply couldn't function properly if it wasn't for the amount of classroom support from parents. I really admire people who can dedicate themselves like this.

I'd love for that to happen, even though I have a degree its not in education and I dont want to return to college.

it will be good to get the brain cells working again and being at school means I dont have to head back out to get DS2 at 11.45am!

I have had my 'how to be a toast lady' talk of my five year old - hes chuffed Im going to help, think he secretly likes that his classmates talk to me and call me aarons mum

EstherH

No child of mine was ever going to have a dummy, and I wasn't going to be one of those mums who said it and then changed her mind. Oh the arrogance lol. I lasted out nearly three weeks of torturous crying and continual breastfeeding before I gave in and went to the chemist on my way home from the babyclinic. With my second, I was trying to force one in her mouth the night she was born but she wouldn't take it.

Chocholate and sugar! I gave in on that one when I found DS with a big smile on his face, covered in Thorntons Continentals just after Christmas when he was ten months old.

And don't get me started on the temper tantrums.... Suffice to say, what I thought before I had children, changed once they were here and each one is different so that what works with one wont necessarily work with the next.

They have both grown up ok though despite having me as a mother.

catkins

*Maya* wrote: »

ooh I find this debate dead fascinating. I personally would love as many children as I could afford and see them as a blessing. I think some people are saying that they have stayed childless for the environment but reallly just didn't get the urge to have kids.

I love children and used to say I would have at least 4. Then I met OH and we talked about it before we got married (a lot of people never seem to have discussed whether or not to have children before they got married, if at all) and we decided against having children for quite a lot of reasons, one of which is that we both believe the world is overpopulated. Definitely in this country there is not enough work or housing. A lot of schools cannot cope with the amount of children, the nhs cannot cope, the roads are overcrowded etc etc etc.

The argument that as people are ageing there needs to be more babies is ridiculous. The population cannot keep growing and growing in such a way. I don't think people should just have as many as children as they want just because they can afford to. Also just because you can afford 4, 5, 6 or whatever when you have them what if circumstances change in the future?

I personally think if child benefit is going to be paid at all (and why exactly are we paying people to have children?) then it should only be paid for 2.

When I hear of all the youngsters who cannot find work or who have degrees and can only get a minimum wage job I thank god we chose not to have any.

We also feel that the world in general is not a very nice place to bring children into and is likely to get much worse.

We have never ever regretted our decision even though most people told us we would! We have been married for over 30 happy years which is more than I can say for just about everyone I know that has children (they are all either divorced, been married at least twice or just unhappily married) and I don't think that is just coincidence.

We have been told we will end up lonely but you cannot have children to look after you in old age. They may move abroad, fall out with you or even die before you anyway. Also it has been said that the loneliest people in old peoples homes are those with children.

As I say, we have never ever regretted our decision. Over the years I have lost count of how many men and women have said if they could go back in time they would not have children. If anything I would rather regret not having children than having them!

EstherH

Having or not having children is personal choice and I'm glad that you are happy with the decision you made. I would just like to add though, that I have been married for getting on 30 years to my one and only husband and have two grown up children who we are still very close to. Ofcourse lots of things can and have happened that we wouldn't have forseen but you can't worry about that.

katholicos

Gigervamp wrote: »

We've had a rotten start to the day. The lady who owns horses in the next field to ours knocked to say she'd seen our lovely adopted stray cat Puss down the lanes. It looks like she was hit by a car.

She was such an independent cat that she didn't like coming indoors much unless the weather was really bad, but she did love her cuddles and tummy rubs. She'd been with us for a year and we're so lucky we found each other because although she was a good hunter, she was still very thin when we started feeding her. She certainly wouldn't have survived the winter that we had, so I'm trying to console myself (and the rest of the family) with the fact that she had a really good year with us which is more than she would have had if she'd not found us.

Giger, so sorry to read this. I can appreciate how upsetting this is for you as we adopted a stray once and had her for about a year and then one night she didn't come home and when i dropped my daughter at school there was a notice outside the gates to say that a cat had been run over nearby, the previous night and that it had been taken to the vets...i went in the school and the headmistress told me she was a cat lover and hoped that the owner would see the notice. We collected her from the vet but she detriated swiftly and though i spent day and night nursing her, it was clear that she was in distress and couldn't even get outside to do her business, so we took her the vet and asked them to put her out of her misery.

Take comfort in the fact that your cat chose to spent her time with you, i'm sure you gave her a lot of love.

Toomuchdebt

Hello-not been around for a while-turns out I caught MRSA when I had my last baby(in May) and I have been struggling with it ever since(it's the type that causes skin infections, abcesses and the like).I have had 5 now, the last 2 have had to be operated on.This last one has left me with a 4cm by 2cm wound which the nurses have to come and change the dressing on daily.It'll take about a month to heal if not longer.I have taken so many antibiotics I feel like I'll burst if I have any more.I had to stop breastfeeding for a month because of the antibiotics but am trying to re-establish feeding again now.Hope everyone is well.

narabanekeater

ELISA and to all looking at volunterring/working in a school. You can train as a TA P/T in local FE (goodness lots of shortenings there) Ive just re done my qualification this year and this academic year shall be voluntering at DD school and my local secondary. Can I also metion how much I enjoy my work on the PTA.
Thats if we have one now as we lost 2 memebers last year so theres only about 5 of us now. It makes me cross when parents critize what we try and do. Its hard work and with only 5 of us theres only so much spare time we have
Lasy year I made 500 mini fairy cakes/tray bakes for the summer fayre. I wrapped 200 presents from santa, made up 600 20p sweetie mixes for the disco and thats just the start of what I was glad to do. I see the quality of the education my DD gets as being on par with a private school. Her school is amazing. The staff always have time for you. Even an hour listeing to a child read can make such a difference to a child. I read once a poem that said along the lines of a childs life is like a piece of paper and everyone they meet leaves a a mark on it. I think thats lovely!

penelopedee_2

Toomuchdebt wrote: »

Hello-not been around for a while-turns out I caught MRSA when I had my last baby(in May) and I have been struggling with it ever since(it's the type that causes skin infections, abcesses and the like).I have had 5 now, the last 2 have had to be operated on.This last one has left me with a 4cm by 2cm wound which the nurses have to come and change the dressing on daily.It'll take about a month to heal if not longer.I have taken so many antibiotics I feel like I'll burst if I have any more.I had to stop breastfeeding for a month because of the antibiotics but am trying to re-establish feeding again now.Hope everyone is well.

Hope it starts to clear soon and you feel better soon, hugs. Pen x

EstherH

Frugal wrote: »

Lindyloo and Esther - I am a worrier about what other people think and this hampers me I will take what you have both said on board and hold my head up high, whatever I do

THANK YOU BOTH

Yes Frugal, do hold your head up high. It is no one elses business what you do. You have to do what is right for you and your family. No one is better than anyone else.