home schooling

fedupnow

Fang wrote: »

No, why would I need to? She admits that her son is a trouble maker.

No, she admits he had a reputation in the first year which the teachers are refusing to let go.

Some teachers do this. If a kid makes a mistake they are marked for their entire school experience. Some kids are written off almost immediately because they are deemed to come from a 'problem' family, an older sibling was a bit of a nuisance or even they come from that 'house on the corner with the cars in the garden'.

Not all, but some.

Some kids are downright mean, they treat kids as 'weird' (example previous page from a fresh school leaver) because they come from a family or background that doesn't fit into their idea of 'normal'.

Of course, let's read the opening post in as dim a light as possible. Let's assume the OP's son is a right trouble-making toe-rag. Well, let's commend her, encourage her, and advise her on how best to turn that child around. She is willing to take responsibility for her son's education - good for her I say.

OP, if school is not working, you can home educate him. It is your right to do so.

Here are some links with stacks of info. You cannot just pull him out, you willl need to deregister him. There are suggestions how to word the letter. I advise to send it registered post so they have to sign for it. Your son will be out of the system and he is free to study however, whatever he chooses.

http://www.education-otherwise.org/

http://www.ahomeeducation.co.uk/

There are a growing number of parents stepping up and accepting full responsibility for their kids future. I can almost guarantee there will be others in your area happy and willing to offer advice etc.

You can do this. I know it's scary, and I know you will meet people who try to tell you otherwise. But it is possible. I have a well balanced, non-weird son to prove it.

PicnicBasket_2

I think home educating your son might be a good solution, providing you are around to be with him, and are prepared to step away and send him back to school if it doesn't work for you both. School just isn't for everyone, and if it looks like he will leave with no qualifications or worse still, a permanent exclusion, then taking him out could get him back on the straight and narrow. I would not have hesitated to educate a deeply unhappy child of mine myself rather than expect them to get themselves deeper and deeper into a pattern of low aspirations for whatever reason.

I do wonder though about the idea that the school won't let him turn himself around. Schools put a huge amount of resources into trying to do just this, and usually celebrate genuine behavioural improvement of a child. He can't expect quick fixes though - if he has caused a great deal of mayhem, he will need to show them he is determined to change; you can't really blame staff for being wary until they see the evidence. Are you sure you are getting the whole picture?

dazzle21

Hi, I was home-ed for part of my education (the latter part) and went onto Uni and post-grad (at top 10 Universities..) and have only been out of a job when I was made redundant and it took my 4weeks to sort out a new one..I was home-ed for two reasons, the first i suffered an injury which meant i couldn't get about easily so we started home ed, and then when it was time to go back to mainstream education i was told that i needed to wait 2 terms and do nothing in the mean time as i was too far ahead.... My parents both helped with my education, there was not the sort of support and study group options so readily available then. I experienced no lack of social skills, as I had a wide variety of 'after school' activities which meant i mixed with children of different ages and from different backgrounds. I have never had a problem mixing with anyone, and never looked back. One thing I found a little upsetting for the first term was people assuming I had been expelled, but after that I took the comments in my stride
Interestingly, where I am now working part of the time, I encounter several Home-Ed children, and 60% of them are better than their peers at mixing with others, unphased by things like age, they will talk to me in the same way they talk to anyone. I agree, it is not an easy option, but certainly don't be put off by people who have not experienced home ed directly.
Good Luck

System

if moving school is not an opton do whats right for you ,i took my daughter out of school about 6 weeks ago and although it was only ever a temporary measure untill her statment came into force its the best thing i ever did , theres no obligation to follow a set cirriculum or set hours you will find what works best in your situaton. you need to put in writing an "education otherwise " letter and expect a visit from a home schooling welfafe officer ,in our case it was a quick phone call because she knew the situation.
good luck .

patchwork_cat

dazzle21 wrote: »

Interestingly, where I am now working part of the time, I encounter several Home-Ed children, and 60% of them are better than their peers at mixing with others, unparsed by things like age, they will talk to me in the same way they talk to anyone. I agree, it is not an easy option, but certainly don't be put off by people who have not experienced home ed directly.
Good Luck

What an odd statistic 60% of them are better at mixing! On whose definition? Do you categorise the children on a basis of 1 - 10 of ability to mix, Little Jimmy is the best mixer, then Anne and so on?

I will be the first to say that school is certainly a challenge for quite a few children. Other children can be horrible and are very judgmental of difference. Strange that during school years to conform is important, but after that to be unique is important!! I do feel that school can be a horrible place.

I think it all comes down to your strengths and abilities and what the educational ability of the child is. However I do worry about the social aspect. With no offense if your child is going to be a plumber then a lot of parents will have the wherewithal to teach them the academic subjects they need, if however your child is going to be a doctor then a lot of parents will struggle to teach them .

You say all the resources are available on line, but how can you teach a subject you don't know? Being one lesson ahead of your student is no good at all.

My son is doing A levels (at college) in Maths, Physics, Chemistry and Biology, I did A levels in Physics, Chemistry and Biology and my DH in Maths, Physics and Surveying! My DH does not have a clue how to help my DS in Bio and Chem, and I do not have a clue in Maths, even though I got a B at O level, I can read up on it all I like and the only bit I can understand is algebraic function, I simply can not get the rest, no matter how much I read it up, the same with my DH on Chem and Bio despite excellent O levels.

If any parent can educate a child with online resources why are we paying graduates in subjects £30K+ to teach our kids when someone on £15K can get the info off the internet and teach them.

fedupnow

patchwork_cat wrote: »

What an odd statistic 60% of them are better at mixing! On whose definition? Do you categorise the children on a basis of 1 - 10 of ability to mix, Little Jimmy is the best mixer, then Anne and so on?

I will be the first to say that school is certainly a challenge for quite a few children. Other children can be horrible and are very judgmental of difference. Strange that during school years to conform is important, but after that to be unique is important!! I do feel that school can be a horrible place.

I think it all comes down to your strengths and abilities and what the educational ability of the child is. However I do worry about the social aspect. With no offense if your child is going to be a plumber then a lot of parents will have the wherewithal to teach them the academic subjects they need, if however your child is going to be a doctor then a lot of parents will struggle to teach them .

You say all the resources are available on line, but how can you teach a subject you don't know? Being one lesson ahead of your student is no good at all.

My son is doing A levels (at college) in Maths, Physics, Chemistry and Biology, I did A levels in Physics, Chemistry and Biology and my DH in Maths, Physics and Surveying! My DH does not have a clue how to help my DS in Bio and Chem, and I do not have a clue in Maths, even though I got a B at O level, I can read up on it all I like and the only bit I can understand is algebraic function, I simply can not get the rest, no matter how much I read it up, the same with my DH on Chem and Bio despite excellent O levels.

If any parent can educate a child with online resources why are we paying graduates in subjects £30K+ to teach our kids when someone on £15K can get the info off the internet and teach them.

Hello

I think I can answer some of your questions.

Perhaps the poster who said he found 60% of those homeschooled children he met were better at communicating than those who had gone to school simply meant, the majority, or over half.

In my experience, and I am one of the ones who have had experience, homeschooled children are generally able to communicate very effectively with all ages and all backgrounds. They tend to be less judgemental of others and accepting of people's differences. Not all, but the majority. Exactly as some mainstream schooled children are.

I think lots of plumbers may take offense. I wouldn't have the first clue how to train a plumber ... would you? Doesn't mean a homeschooled child couldn't be a plumber though. Or a doctor, or indeed anything they want to be. Universities are keen to accept homeschooled children. Regardless of some people's doubts, universities appreciate the self discipline that goes into studying without a teacher standing over them.

I have no formal teaching qualifications but I didn't need them. On line resources are there for everybody, not just homeschooled children. I suspect your children are aware of this and possibly use them to aid them with homework etc.

Any parent can educate their child should they wish to. I guess we pay teachers to do it so that they don't have to.

I am not anti-school anymore than I am anti anything else. I believe in choice. Every child is different. Every family is different. We are just parents doing the best for our children.

morg_monster

my own experience of homeschooled children (no i am not homeschooled and i have no kids of my own) is that the ones who have been homeschooled through their whole school career perhaps do have different social skills and may be picked out as "wierd" by kids if they start coming to school to do say GCSEs or something (yes kids can be mean; always have, always will be :-( ). They are often used to adult company more than that of their peers, and even if they do after school activities, an hour or so a few times a week is not the same as 6 hours, 5 days a week in the company of kids their own age. We have had a few "homeschooled from scratch" children at my brownie pack and they all took longer to "fit in" than other girls; one in particular had no siblings and could not share - which was a nightmare and unexpected at 8 years of age. She also was obviously very intelligent and found the other girls "beneath her" as she was so used to talking to adults; she always just wanted to talk to the leaders, which wasn't really the point of Brownies...
Another seemed absolutely lovely on the surface at the first meeting but then pinched her mum's mobile phone and left pretty offensive messages for one of the leaders on her voicemail!!!! At 8 years old!!! When it happened the second time we asked her not to come back... probably had nothing to do with her homeschooling though. Maybe I've just had bad luck!

The ones who had some years in school and then were homeschooled, I personally never noticed any real difference. There are a couple of girls at Guides like this; and also from my own school days we had people coming to mainstream school to do their GCSEs or A-levels after a few years being homeschooled.

(usual disclaimer about this being my OPINION based on my admittedly small experiences) OP it does sound like moving schools might be a better option than diving straight into home schooling; as it doesn't sound like it is school or formal education itself that disagrees with your son; rather the people providing it. I am surprised at the teachers not giving him a chance - but as others said, if he was a real rascal, it can take longer to rehabilitate. And some teachers like people in all walks of life can hold grudges; is it all teachers or just a couple that really give him a hard time?

oh one more point for the poster who said "why pay teachers £30K+ to teach when I can get all the info off the internet for free?" how ridiculous; who do you think does the hard work creating the information and resources on the internet in the first place?!! And as others have said kids learn a lot more at school than just the 3 Rs etc. For most kids school is a great place which works really well for them; yes for some it doesn't but no need to throw the baby out with the bathwater!

patchwork_cat

fedupnow wrote: »

Hello

I think I can answer some of your questions.

Perhaps the poster who said he found 60% of those homeschooled children he met were better at communicating than those who had gone to school simply meant, the majority, or over half.

In my experience, and I am one of the ones who have had experience, homeschooled children are generally able to communicate very effectively with all ages and all backgrounds. They tend to be less judgemental of others and accepting of people's differences. Not all, but the majority. Exactly as some mainstream schooled children are.

I think lots of plumbers may take offense. I wouldn't have the first clue how to train a plumber ... would you? Doesn't mean a homeschooled child couldn't be a plumber though. Or a doctor, or indeed anything they want to be. Universities are keen to accept homeschooled children. Regardless of some people's doubts, universities appreciate the self discipline that goes into studying without a teacher standing over them.

I have no formal teaching qualifications but I didn't need them. On line resources are there for everybody, not just homeschooled children. I suspect your children are aware of this and possibly use them to aid them with homework etc.

Any parent can educate their child should they wish to. I guess we pay teachers to do it so that they don't have to.

I am not anti-school anymore than I am anti anything else. I believe in choice. Every child is different. Every family is different. We are just parents doing the best for our children.

You are deliberately misunderstanding what I said - I said the academic qualifications to become a plumber. Training to become a plumber or a doctor are outside the remit of homeschooling. It is a fact that a plumber does not need 10 A grade GCSE's, a doctor does, FACT.

I am not arrogant enough to believe that I know enough to homeschool my children to the standard that they deserve or require. I do however know the different spellings that we have in the UK and the US and I notice at least one US spelling in your post - beware spellchecker - to know how to press the button is one thing, to have the knowledge that it is giving you an Americanised spelling is another.

I have also said that it would be a last resort, but I am not anti it. I wonder how many parents actually have the ability to do it to the standard that their children need and that standard will vary from child to child - hence my comment about academic qualifications for 2 disparate careers.

red_devil

Ive not done it but admire people that do!

it can be a real worry going to school. Problems with other pupils, wearing a uniform, taking time off in term time, having to follow set rules etc!

I have noticed there are groups too where home ed children can meet up with others so they meet other children etc! Cool.

Oldernotwiser

fedupnow wrote: »

For example, we had a lot of fun doing the science papers ... but he never bothered to sit the exam as he knew he wasn't going to need it for what he wanted to do.

Actually, I think that's one of the most chilling indictments of home education I've heard!