really old style living?

mardatha

Good idea re the horticulture course !:D My OH wont let me have chickens either - and I never go out s am home all the time to look after them, its so notfair

mardatha

Ginny, that's something we haven't talked about in here, but the plain additive-free food is def good for dodgy health. I got a lot better just sticking to plain very old fashioned food. I wish one of my sons would come and just give me one days labour to get the veg plot sorted. The one who would do it is always working 12 hour shifts and has plantar:rotfl: fasciitis and is in agony - plus his partner is very ill with a lung disease and he needs to help her. The other son couldnt care less what happens to any of the family so I wont ask him.
- can anybody tell I AM IN A REALLY REALLY BAD MOOD TODAY ?? HMMM??

ginnyknit

Maybe you need a family meeting Mardatha and lay down the law, Im sure you have done a lot to help your kids and its time they did a bit for you! Typical that the son with the plantar whotsit is the one who would help!! How on earth does he manage I have heard its very painful. At least you can come on here and vent hunny - we all have days like this. I also use bribery a lot with my kids :rotfl:

In the past we both worked long hours and Dh did nights so we would grab a ready meal but I soon cottoned on and started batch cooking. I really don't know how we existed on the hours we worked, no wonder my arthiritis is so bad now, all the public transport, heavy lifting, refitting shops I did. Anyway it was a conscious decision to go back to basics when I finished work as I do enjoy cooking. The main thing I enjoy though is the satisfaction of making everything and knowing I am doing my best for us all. Anyway my green tomatoes are calling me so I had better go and feed them, then I promised coffee cake for tea and the whoopsied pork joint (3 quid);)

katholicos

Isn't it bizzarre when we raise our kids well and they still turn out to be completely self-absorbed idiots?

My son and daughter couldn't be more different. My daughter loves home and family (she is an untidy slob, but she is a lovable untidy slob) but my son's only interest is himself. Last year, aged 14, after raising him on my own for the past 10 years, he made life a living hell for me and his sister and eventually went to live with his Father. This past year has been a nightmare of catastrophic proportions because of his messing about and though at the moment (who knows how long it will last until he decides to go off on one and have no contact with us again) we have contact, he is so very sullen and miserable and sarcastic when he comes that it takes me days to get over his visit....and then he comes to visit again and it is a continual cycle.

Ugh!

mardatha

The thing is that after a certain age, they stop being children lol - and start being adults. And then sometimes you find that you can't cope with that adult. My younger son is presentable, smart, well-off, and runs a business. He is polite and charming when we do talk - but unless I phone him and make him talk, he never phones or visits. He lives half an hour away and we never see them. If we go over then he's usually out or already has people in, so we stopped. I'm not running after him, he will find one day that you only have one mum & dad, and they dont last forever. But by then it will be too late. However - life is not perfect and we all got our problems havent we Have to plod on !

ginnyknit

Very true Mardatha there is only you who knows what to do with your brood. Sending hugs instead of advice on this subject:):):)

katholicos

mardatha wrote: »

The thing is that after a certain age, they stop being children lol - and start being adults. And then sometimes you find that you can't cope with that adult. My younger son is presentable, smart, well-off, and runs a business. He is polite and charming when we do talk - but unless I phone him and make him talk, he never phones or visits. He lives half an hour away and we never see them. If we go over then he's usually out or already has people in, so we stopped. I'm not running after him, he will find one day that you only have one mum & dad, and they dont last forever. But by then it will be too late. However - life is not perfect and we all got our problems havent we Have to plod on !

You are so right mardatha. I love my son, but i don't like the 'adult' he is turning into. Unfortunately he is a mini version of his father, though i did everything i could to ensure that didn't happen. Hopefully i've done enough to raise him to respect others that he doesn't raise his hand to the women in his life, like his father did with me. I can already see the tendencies though and it is heartbreaking. Still, life goes on as the saying goes. It's almost a year since he left and I have enough to deal with health wise and homewise, it is better he stays where he is, only wish he didn't have to tell me i he hated me so much. On the bright side, my daughter and my parents are very close and our love and support of one another carries us through many a family battle and tragedy.

Rightio, i'm off to have some homebaked bread and homemade chutney with some nice half price mature cheddar

katholicos

ginnyknit wrote: »

Very true Mardatha there is only you who knows what to do with your brood. Sending hugs instead of advice on this subject:):):)

Absolutely right Ginny. Hugs are always so much more welcome than advise when so often it is only ourselves who really know all the is and outs and the positives and negatives. Have a hug back (((hug)))

Mardatha, about your son who lives half an hour away....its a bit like my brother, he is a professional living in a lovely area, has a great job and job security and i love him so very much....but he has hurt my mum and dad so much over the years....not because he did anything particulalry awful, but because he hasn;t been there for my parents at all. He left home about oooh, 26 years ago and moved an hour and a half's drive away where he has remained ever since. We hardly ever see him and although when he does see mum and dad and myself he is very interested in us, in the times he is away from us (most of the year) there are infrequent phone conversations and absolutely zero support. I have to admit, it used to nark me a bit that he never seemed to be there for mum and dad (they both have considerable health problems) but then i just came to accept that some people are that way inclined.

I don;t resent the things i do for my parents or the fact that i am so near to them and can offer as much support as i am able. It is him who is missing out.

You are right that one day your son will have a lightbulb moment when he realises that he is who he is because you gave him life and did your best for him. Hopefully it will happen sooner rather than later

ceridwen

mardatha wrote: »

Ginny, that's something we haven't talked about in here, but the plain additive-free food is def good for dodgy health. I got a lot better just sticking to plain very old fashioned food. I wish one of my sons would come and just give me one days labour to get the veg plot sorted. The one who would do it is always working 12 hour shifts and has plantar:rotfl: fasciitis and is in agony - plus his partner is very ill with a lung disease and he needs to help her. The other son couldnt care less what happens to any of the family so I wont ask him.
- can anybody tell I AM IN A REALLY REALLY BAD MOOD TODAY ?? HMMM??

Errrrr....go on ...give us (another) clue......:)

Yep....you have not been a happy bunny for a few days now - but thats understandable. I'd be feeling downright frustrated and all now hinny if I were feeling the same...

Take care..

xx

meanmarie

Hugs Mardatha...they all grow up differently, no matter what you do

Marie