Coffee and chocolate

MatyMoo

Glad you are still tinkling the ivories Not only relaxing but some ME time for a busy Mum.

Oooh Crumble is one of my favourites, especially with custard Not a huge fan of pastry though.

I think there is only so much you can do looking at care homes online but it is at least a start. I would think that a personal visit to see what it is like would be good. That way you can see how happy/sad/cared for/neglected the residents seem, if the fixtures and fittings are looking tired and if it lives up to the glossy pictures on the website.

I used to live opposite a care home, long before they brought in rules and regulations, and the tales I can tell would make your hair curl :mad:

Maty
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miggy

I will go and have a look - but this was 1.30 am so they probably wouldn't have let me in!

Now don't go scaring me with horror stories! As I work with vulnerable adults I have a strong sense of good practice and fully intend to insist on it wherever mum ends up. You do get a feeling from a place quite early, I think. Living where I do and not being a driver, though, limits the options available but I have had good reports of a couple of places before I started looking which is helpful.

Latest development - mum's cat is being a problem to the lady who's looking after it and my sister has rung me up asking if I know anyone who could take him on. I remembered my assertiveness and said 'no'. I'm very fond of the cat but we can't take him and I feel my sister could at least give him a try - none of them has allergies and they have a huge house. The person I would have though of is looking after someone's dogs and while there is another friend who might help, I haven't seen her for years! I suggested a cattery or take him back to mum's and ask the neighbour to feed him again.

*sigh*

miggy

A busy few days so a quick update.
Foodwise I am pleased with what I've spent - lots of using up things we had in, and very tasty they were, too. Other than that though it seems to have been quite expensive - £10 for my piano lesson (a luxury), £61 for eye test and new lenses in my glasses.
We are looking after mum's cat overnight and taking him back to her place tomorrow (his 'foster placement' broke down). Her neighbour's happy to feed him and the cleaner spends time with him too but I feel sorry for him having such a quiet time. Sorry to tie the neighbour down too, but we can't have the cat here due to allergies.
The trip will cost about £35.
Still sorting things for mum. Some old cheques which she hadn't cashed have surfaced so I need to work out who they're from and apply to have new ones made out, though I know some are so old that nothing's going to happen. I sense a forum search coming up.

MatyMoo

Miggy I would just try to bank the cheques even out of date. We have done it at work and they just went through! Apparently there is no such thing as an out of date cheque in the banking world :eek:

If they don't accept them you can ask the originator to confirm that they have not cleared their bank account and re-issue.

miggy

Thanks Maty - will do!
I found another today.

miggy

Oops, guess who is completely snowed under obsessing with mum stuff?
Mum herself is doing well. I'm somewhat fixated on sorting things out for her - I have a list of things to buy when she moves (and yes, we're getting closer!), a list of personal stuff I want to have available for her from her house, those cheques (the bank wasn't happy to cash them, so now I've lots of letters to write to get them reissued though it may have to wait till the Power of Attorney comes through), a small file, a medium file and a huge file... not to mention a largeish bag of things I've bought for when she's settled in a bit. This last is mostly a big plant pot on wheels so she can have a cutting of her fig tree, and some little shelves for ornaments, but they take up space.
Dh is doing a short course run by our church on money management. He won't believe me when I said T*sco is swallowing it whole.
I am comfort shopping, partly to keep me away from obsessing about sorting things for mum. Was quite pleased with myself today as I spent £4.50 on something for her birthday (coming up soonish but this was in the sales and it seemed like a good opportunity to get part of her present) - but that was, I think all I spent... unles you count letting DS1 have £10 to buy food for us all, which can't have come to £10 but I haven't yet seen any change.
And the solicitors say their bill will be £450, and the Office of the Public Guardians' will be £120... here's hoping I'm allowed to claim it back!

miggy

I realised it doesn't look as though I'm making much progress with the food stocks but I am - just filling the gaps in the freezer with new stuf as fast as the old stuff goes!

For the last few days I've put a lot of effort into sorting papers and the files of mum's stuff are making more sense now. The solicitor has sent some papers to do with the Power of Attorney but I can't do much with them for a few days as it's waiting on someone else. I've made a few phone calls on mum's behalf (I suppose I ought to start listing these and putting them to expenses as it's undoubtedly going to mount up).

I've temporarily graduated from sorting mum's papers to sorting ours - ulp! These are a real bete noir. Very pleased to say there are now fewer of them, though the casual observer probably wouldn't notice.

Finances... well, I've been paid so things appear better for now but it's going to be a few months before we stay in the black all month by the look of things. It will get worse before it gets much better due to legal bills.

I'm happy with food spends recently - phew! It isn't stunningly good but it's pretty well where I want it to be and the 'freezer meals' (anything that gets used up) have produced some stars such as the butternut squash soup I invented earlier in the week or the sweetcorn and swede soup before that. It's helping me eat more healthily, too... until you take into account that there's plenty of fatty food around too and two of the teenagers have been making 'rocky road' - solid calories served with extra cholesterol and my cholesterol's too high anyway.

I did treat myself a bit today: a danish pastry snack followed by three plant kits from a pound shop, but I hope the plants will pay us back in summer!

miggy

DH is now keeping a spending diary!

Just as well, the bank balance isn't looking too happy.

I've seen another job advertised which sounds as though there might be more scope than my present one - and the pay is certainly better. I have to go over to see to various things for mum this week and am hoping I can get back home in time to go to an open evening for the job...

MatyMoo

miggy wrote: »

DH is now keeping a spending diary!

Just as well, the bank balance isn't looking too happy.

That's great news Miggy, it is so much easier if you are both on the same side :T

miggy wrote: »

I've seen another job advertised which sounds as though there might be more scope than my present one - and the pay is certainly better. I have to go over to see to various things for mum this week and am hoping I can get back home in time to go to an open evening for the job...

The job sounds good, fingers firmly crossed that you get back in time from Mum's to get to the open evening. How is she doing, have you managed to move her nearer yet?

Maty
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miggy

Brief update:
Mum moved - so far so good, I guess! Wore myself out working a whole bunch of shifts in the break between doing stuff for mum, but am now r3ecovering and trying hard not to spend too much time doing stuff for her: I need to take astep or several back and let her settle in, meanwhile getting my life back together.
I had an interview for the job I mentioned but they are only appointing domestic workers at present and although my application was for both that and care work, the organisation say they want to consider me for care work only. When I wrote that I realised it would be cheaper for them to appoint people who haven't got the qualifications, and although I haven't, I'm on the way there. Still, I'm not writing it off as they're keeping me on their books so there may be hours in there for me at some point.
Money - well, we haven't solved that one yet, but the spending diary continues. Dh is too tired and busy to do more than keep a note of spends so far.
We've had one long-distance car trip recently and will have another later in the week and it's not getting any cheaper. :eek:
I have cheered myself out of some winter blues by spending a few pounds on ebay (must add it to spending diary) buying some summer clothes.
So much for brief...