DLA apeal

Breast_Cancer_Survivor

dmg24 wrote: »

Where have I said anything vile? I have not, I am just being honest with you. The problem is, you want people to tell you that your self pity is ok, but it really is not healthy.

Your complete unwillingness to let go of the past and move forward is your fault. As I said before, we all have cr*p in our lives, but we also all have the option to move forward. You are choosing not to take this option.

sh1305, I hope you don't mind me quoting you as an example, but when you first came on MSE (in whichever guise!) you really felt sorry for yourself. You were unwilling to listen to suggestions as to how you could improve things, and you expected everyone else to adapt because of your problems. Sorry, I don't mean to be harsh, but you were a pain! However (and to the point of the story!), although you have clearly had a cr*ppy year, you have turned things around and you are doing so much more to help yourself.

BCS, sh1305 is half your age, yet is so much more positive about things and is being proactive in improving her own situation. I don't see what is stopping you doing the same?

(sh1305, please don't think I'm having a go - I mean what I have said in a very positive way, I'm just not sure it comes across like that? )

How do I move forward with my life?

I'm only human & trying my best.

Breast_Cancer_Survivor

krisskross wrote: »

Do you ever wonder if your son's problems with aggression etc might have something to do with the variety of 'Dads' they've had?

I mean this sincerely. My sons as teenagers would have been mortified if they had been confronted with the idea of me and their Dad making love. If I had brought different blokes in to share my bed I think it would really have affected them badly as impressionable teenagers.

You really have a cheek.

My sons have had their biological dad who they don't remember seeing as he left when Ryan was 18 months old & Liam was still 4 weeks from being born & my husband who they class as dad.

They have had my bf in their lives for just over a year & love him to bits.

I've only been seperated from my husband since 2006 & ive been ill all that time not bringing men home.

Talk about judgemental.

Indie_Kid

Breast_Cancer_Survivor wrote: »

How do I move forward with my life?

I'm only human & trying my best.

I think what dmg is trying to say is that you must let go of the past (I am aware of how hard that, I've had a horrible last 5 months and can't move on - yet, person involved is doing whatever he can to act as though nothing's happened) and look towards the future and prehaps do something with your life.

Breast_Cancer_Survivor

sh1305 wrote: »

I think what dmg is trying to say is that you must let go of the past (I am aware of how hard that, I've had a horrible last 5 months and can't move on - yet, person involved is doing whatever he can to act as though nothing's happened) and look towards the future and prehaps do something with your life.

As soon as my court case is over I will be trying to do that.

I find out the end of September whether they will be paying me off or whether we will have to go to court so I can't put it behind me at the moment as it's still in front of me (if you know what I mean).

I'm in limbo at the moment & suffering from a major depressive episode so forgive me if I don't feel very positive at the moment.

Do you think any of this is helping cos it certailnly isn't.

I joined MSE last summer & had to stop coming on due to all the spiteful remarks which contributed to my breakdown & selfharming/suicide attempts.

dmg24

Breast_Cancer_Survivor wrote: »

How do I move forward with my life?

I'm only human & trying my best.

This is the problem - you are not trying, you are dwelling.

Set yourself something you want to achieve in the next week - nothing major, but something that you can tick off and say you have done it at the end of it. The options are endless - find out about and attend an autism support group, arrange to volunteer at your local hospital etc. If you are busy helping other people you will not have time to dwell, and you might make some friends?

Before you suggest barriers - there are none.

dmg24

Breast_Cancer_Survivor wrote: »

As soon as my court case is over I will be trying to do that.

You have absolutely no reason to wait until then.

Breast_Cancer_Survivor wrote: »

I joined MSE last summer & had to stop coming on due to all the spiteful remarks which contributed to my breakdown & selfharming/suicide attempts.

The only person that causes you to self harm is you, and that is coming from a regular self harmer. No one puts a knife in my hand, I do it myself.

If you really think that being on here makes you more ill, then help yourself and step away from the computer.

Oldernotwiser

Breast_Cancer_Survivor wrote: »

It's people like you lot that stop me from leaving the house, why would I want to put myself in a position where people can hurt me.

That would be apart from going to Alton Towers, would it?

Breast_Cancer_Survivor

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

That would be apart from going to Alton Towers, would it?

My son's want to go to alton towers & I said I would think about it.

Obviously I wouldn't be takin them on my own.

I'm not agrophobic, I can go outside, I just can't go to populated places alone as I have panic attacks.

What's so hard to understand about that?

I haven't been to alton towers for over 10 years & even then I went with my sister so not alone.

Breast_Cancer_Survivor

dmg24 wrote: »

You have absolutely no reason to wait until then.



The only person that causes you to self harm is you, and that is coming from a regular self harmer. No one puts a knife in my hand, I do it myself.

If you really think that being on here makes you more ill, then help yourself and step away from the computer.

Being on here doesn't make me ill, i'm already ill.

But the hurtful remarks don't just bounce off & I take them all in.

When i'm having a particularly bad day they come back to haunt me & I beleive that i'm x, y & z because so & so said it so it must be true.

I self harm to get the bad feeling out.

In my logical brain I feel like I can't really put stuff that is still happening behind me but I will be trying so hard once it's all over.

My gp said I need to learn to put my feelings in a box?

She didn't say how to though. Maybe some people can do that better then others.

I'm an extremely emotional person & they take over my life, i'd love to learn to control them but again how do I do that?

ash4becks

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

That would be apart from going to Alton Towers, would it?

give BCS a break will you, i have been there and dwelled snaping out of it doesnt happen when you want it to but when your mind accepts it can take how ever long it takes

just because she has autisum doesnt mean its the end of the world she should live her life the way she sees fit and do things people do everyday like going shoping and having fun it is allowed

she has lost her breasts at a young age bit younger than iam now thats your feminneity my boobies are my pride and joy i really dont think i would cope if at all i no what iam like but thats alot to cope with without everything else shes had to deal with, but that has to really knock your conferdance for six with people of the same age wearing low cut tops and thats just what i can think of