Pulling my hair out with DD

Lyndsay_21

I am feeling so !!!!!! at the moment DD (nearly 4) is being such a nightmare. Her behaviour has become awful in the last few months and nothing i try seems to work.
I took her in to town this morning and it was just awful she wont hold my hand or the buggy so i end up having to hold her arm whilst she's screaming for me to let go or just crying (which is upsetting for me as well as her), i am just at the end of my tether with her i've tried time outs and positive praise and everything like that at first she's ok but after a week or so she just starts the bad behaviour again.

She's starting nursery again next week and i'm dreading her starting cos of the way she's been behaving, i feel like im gonna have a nervous breakdown or something...

Raksha

Maybe she's worried about the unknown - nursery? Have you discussed it with her? Has there been any other upset/stress in the family at all? Kids often pick up on this sort of stuff, but the only way they can let out their worries is in their behaviour.......

wigginsmum

What's her diet like?

Penny_Watcher

((((((hugs)))))))

We've all been there hun. I ended up not taking my DS1 shopping for a while he was such a little s**t. However he'll be 12 soon and he is a star now But that doesn't help does it.

The way I got round the holding hands thing was to get one of those toddler wrist 'leads' (for want of a better word). I told DS1 that I was a bit scared of getting lost in town/shops/etc. As he was now such a Big Boy please could he help me by holding onto my lead and not letting go. Success here depends how gullible your DD is. DS1 swallowed it hook line and sinker. :j

And as for the whole tantrum thing I found ignoring works best. If they have no audience they soon get bored. I've brought up 5 kids (3 'whole' and 2 'step') and apart from the initial embarrassment of little johnny lying on the floor kicking and screaming in ASDAs (hence no DS1 shopping for a short while) it has, on the whole, worked really well. IF SAFE TO DO SO just walk away, maybe to the end of the aisle where you can spy on DD's antics from behind the Weetabix.

Anyway - good luck! They do eventually grow out of this awful phase, but whislt you're there it can be a living hell :eek:

Lyndsay_21

Raksha wrote:

Maybe she's worried about the unknown - nursery? Have you discussed it with her?

She started nursery in december so has already been going for a few months i have been tellking her over the last week she will be going back to nursery soon and preparing her for it that way.

Its not really tantrums she's having its more her rudeness if i ask her to do something she'll often poke her tongue out at me or pull a horrible face or fold her arms over her chest or turn her back to me or all of the above and its just sooo rude and she's been told to stop doing it and had time-outs etc but she just cant seem to help herself....

What's her diet like?

its been bad at the moment as i just dont seem to have the energy to want to cook i really really love cooking ang baking but just seem so exhausted at the moment. saying that although its 'bad' its not really unhealthy stuff like ready meals more stuff like tomato soup or sandwhiches or pasta bake :eek:

vik6525

when my ds went through a 'tantrum' phase i did two things, which both got him out of it. First off i started giving him fish oils which calmed him down no end, and secondly, and i only had to do this once, when he had a paddy in a supermarket, i actually sat on the floor and had a tantrum. he looked at me in disbelief, as if what i was doing was so so shocking, and never did it again. It took some guts mind you, but i realy was at the end of my tether! Never been back to that particular co op since.... ha ha

Raksha

Oh - that kind of behaviour So what do you do when she behaves like that? I sorted my son out by totally ignoring it, and making sure when it stopped he got plenty of praise and reward (just a hug can make a difference). The problem is, when you start to ignore something, it often seems to get worse because the child has already learnt it gets attention (and so is worth doing) so when it suddenly doesn't get attention, they think MORE rudeness will get more attention, it will take a while before they find out the game is up, so stick with it - carry on as normal, don't even acknowledge the child is even there.......

Lyndsay_21

I tell her to stop it and that its rude and if she does it again she'll get a time out, i did try ignoring it but your right it did get worse but i felt like if i did ignore it i was doing the wrong thing (if u get my drift).

I am just finding it really hard to cope at the moment i just feel so washed out all the time, i feel like i've failed and she's gonna turn into some horrible child like you see on supernanny and she's going to get an asbo and stuff.

angchris

unfortunately i think its a stage all kids go through you`ve just got to grit your teeth and deal with it the best you can at the time. my son was exactly the same at that age and they do grow out of it eventually they just move on to other annoying habits like growing green things on plates in their bedrooms! ahh the joys of parenthood:rolleyes:

shansha

Lyndsay_21 wrote:

I tell her to stop it and that its rude and if she does it again she'll get a time out, i did try ignoring it but your right it did get worse but i felt like if i did ignore it i was doing the wrong thing (if u get my drift).

I am just finding it really hard to cope at the moment i just feel so washed out all the time, i feel like i've failed and she's gonna turn into some horrible child like you see on supernanny and she's going to get an asbo and stuff.

(((((((((HUGS)))))))))

You have not failed Lyndsay.. You are not on your own with this, I bet most mums could tell similar stories.
I have been there and its so frustrating, I was going to suggest putting her on reigns when you take her out & explain that she will have to stay on them untill she starts to behave like a big girl,tell dd you dont want her to get lost or anything happen to her because you love her so much.
Maybe tell her you dont want other people to think she's a naughty girl when they see her misbehave and that you would like everyone to think what a lovely well behaved big girl she is.
That worked with my ds who was a nightmare to take anywhere, I told him everyone was watching his horrid behaviour,he soon wanted to be seen as a good boy & not a bad boy.
Hope this helps you...

angeluk69_2

hey don;t worry, my DD was screaming all round Tesco last week and some woman who kept on at me at various times had me in tears in the middle of the shop.

At the moment I am really struggling with my 5yrold DS who I really can'y cope with, he never listens and constantly winds his sister up which in turn winds me up and then i end up in tears.

I just hope that things improve for all us parents with moody/ignorant/clumsy/rude and completely obnoxious kids