Newly seperated, father says he won't give permission for sons holiday abroad.

Lance

I am a father and got questioned taking my 10 year old son to the U.S.A but only to enquire if I had left from my home address that morning. If your ex has evidence you are taking the child abroad perminantly, for some time, he can apply for a court order but you having a pre-booked family holiday would make it difficult / expensive for him to proceed.

paulwf

Don't mention the holiday to him. By the time the end of August comes he'll probably have found something else to moan about. If he brings it up just shrug, laugh and say "for heavens sake it's only a short holiday away", don't go into any more details and make it a minor thing rather than something for him to see as a bargaining chip.

As another poster says if it was me I'd seriously give him a simple choice: either the baby goes or he can baby sit. That could actually do you a big favour either way

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Don't suggest he has the baby for the week. It's a perfect time for abduction, claiming she has given him up, then the time the court takes to get on with it, plus avoidance and delaying tactics creates the most horrible situations.

He can't stop her taking the LO on holiday. TBH, you could let him think he has 'won' and say the holiday has been cancelled. Apply for the passport, just as everyone else says 'don't know where he is' on the form. Means he can't get a passport on the quiet, either, as you would already have one issued.

Then just go.

itsallinthemind

passport-parent holding birth cert can apply only. Miss out father info, simples.

rest of it-no issue if you have tickets returning within 28 days. yes he could go to court they would laugh him out if no chance of abduction, could do port calls where she would get questioned and go on her way.

suggest she goes to court to get residency to stop him interfering in the future if he is going to be playing games

Fang_3

Of course if he finds out that you've lied about knowing where the father is, then it would look very dodgy in court, almost as if you planned to take the child away permanently.

gratefulforhelp_2

Anyone can get a copy of the birth certificate, they just have to apply for one. A birth certificate is a matter of public record. My XH has used this to provide himself with a tax-free savings vehicle:mad:

Soubrette

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Don't suggest he has the baby for the week. It's a perfect time for abduction, claiming she has given him up, then the time the court takes to get on with it, plus avoidance and delaying tactics creates the most horrible situations.

He can't stop her taking the LO on holiday. TBH, you could let him think he has 'won' and say the holiday has been cancelled. Apply for the passport, just as everyone else says 'don't know where he is' on the form. Means he can't get a passport on the quiet, either, as you would already have one issued.

Then just go.

If this is true then how would you ever leave your child with the father for weekends? Or any unsupervised time at all?

Also by saying you don't know where the father is - isn't that dimishing the role of the father as a parent.

Personally I'd be open about it all. And, unless there was physical danger to my baby, I'd be more than happy to leave them with the other parent, if the parents can get over this period of hurt and in the end work together as parents then this will be the absolute best for the baby. If both of them act as if the other was the enemy and that only they can decide what is the best for the baby - that's much more likely to have long term and damaging consequences for the baby. I'd rather aim for the former taking into account the very small chance of the father abducting the baby.

Sou

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

He wouldn't find out. These days, a woman doesn't have to ask permission from her ex to do such things as travel further than the local supermarket. She's not a chattel and as such the passport people don't need to ask, either.

The asking for father's passport number on the form is there for establishing whether LO is entitled to British Citizenship/Passport through their father, but if they're already entitled through their mother, it's irrelevant for the purposes of passport law.

And if anyone wonders, DD has a passport. Her father wasn't contacted, although they would have been perfectly capable of finding him by typing his name into their database, as I had given his details. Not that he would have cared, anyway, as he isn't that sort of vicious manipulator and bully. Didn't give his passport number because I knew it would be too much hassle asking him to dig it out of wherever he has put it, assuming he remembered to renew it when it expired.

He knows DD has a passport, but it's only relevant to him if he wants to book an overseas holiday with her and needs to borrow it.


I suppose I might sound mean [waits for Fang to agree ], but it's not diminishing a father's role - it's stopping a vengeful bloke from depriving someone of a holiday when they are apparently in a particularly spiteful mood. Contact visits are something separate, which can be sorted through the courts in due course.

gratefulforhelp_2

sou I wasn't suggesting that one should lie about knowing the whereabouts of the father. In the case of my XH it was true, I had no address for him or anything.

eta in which case he rather diminished his own role, leaving with no forwarding address.

DX2

How sad are some of these "helpful" posts shakes head.