Where can a 17 year old make friends?

tightgit_2

My 17 year old daughter has become very reclusive since leaving school. I was hoping she would make new friends at college, but she hasn't as they all seemed to be in small groups from the start and there's been no real oportunities to meet as a group.
She is painfully shy anyway, which doesn't help matters.
Where could she go to meet new people of her own age on her own?

focus888

she could joined some groups or activities that the college run? or could she maybe get a part time job?

fireflycatcher

Is she unhappy/does she want friends?

susieb

how about something like the young farmers

Counting_Pennies_2

Are there any clubs within the college. Thinking students union, music, etc. If so perhaps she can join as a member or even go along and see what they do.

You say she has become reclusive since leaving school. I wonder if she just joined in by association at school. They are all lumped in together for a long period of time. Perhaps she never has had very close friends.

In order to help her outside of the college environment, perhaps look at activities she can do then. Try some tennis lessons, join a yoga class. Perhaps go along with her for the first one or two sessions so she can get her foot in the door without panicking.

Either way, I wouldn't leave it all to chance, I would suggest something in the local area. Don't go raising it with her about the friends issue. Just say I think now you have left school there is more time to do things shall we look around and see what is out there.

Make-it-3

What's happened to her friends from school? Is she still in touch? Did she have friends there?

Is she unhappy with the current situation, or does it bother you more?

As we go through life we interact with different groups of people; school, college/uni, work etc and some people will always find it easier and make more friends than others.

But if she is really struggling with shyness/lack of confidence maybe she can see a college counsellor about getting some help which she can use both in her current situation and for the future.

Brighton_belle

the best way to make friends if you are shy is to joins some sort of activity group. Then, you don't have to make small talk, but get to know people through shared interest/activity.
She may not know what activity/hobbies she might enjoy, so perhaps you could encourage her by looking at a whole range of ideas so she can pick one or two that appeal to her. And if she finds she doesn't like th activy after all, after a few weeks of trying, then pick another one.
The sept ad ed brouchures will possibly be out by now as well. A lot of things may slowing down now as we head in to the summer break. But start looking now for Sept.
Volunteering is another one - at an animal centre for example, or a countryside conservation group. The important thing is, finding something where there will be some people her age.

All my best friends have come through doing evening courses over the years, including my OH:D

flutterbyuk25

She could do a development course over the summer holidays?

I work for Prince's Trust and we have a 12 week personal development course for 16-25 year olds. It's a group of around 13 young people and they do various things including education, community work, work experience, outdoor pursuits etc. It's designed to help them gain confidence, communication, tolerance etc. All the kids I work with make firm friends with at least one or two, if not all the others.

There are many different courses like ours out there, which run for different lengths of time. Take her to her locals Careers/Connextions to discuss it with a careers adviser, who will need to refer her to the appropriate organisation.

With us they get paid £50/wk training allowance plus travel expenses, different organisations may pay differently.

minimoneysaver

Could she not get a part time job in a place that has other young people working there, maybe a coffee bar, shop or similar? There will probably be jobs at her college also.

Firefly

That's an interesting dilemma because you can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Pardon the analogy but it illustrates perfectly that you might need to address the cause rather than the symptom.

You can put your daughter into a million and one social situations but until she is able to feel comfortable within a group she will likely struggle with making friendships.

Strategies to address her self esteem would be very useful and perhaps someone to talk to about her feelings. Once she feels good about herself she'll be able to share that with others.

I really feel for her. Good luck.

bank_of_slate

Is she sporty at all? Or could you both do some voluntary work that's help her with her confidence?
...Linda xx