Hypno's reminder that she is doing ok, actually!

Different_Corner

Lovely post Hypno, totally get you from a different scene, my energy has to be focussed on now and not used up in dwelling on 'then'.

hypno06

Good luck with the househunting, se. I will have a look at the property !!!!!! in a bit......am working on my lists!

Trying to stay positive in this grey gloomy weather is not easy! As you say, it blows the cobwebs away, and perhaps that has to be good enough!

hypno06

Different_Corner wrote: »

Lovely post Hypno, totally get you from a different scene, my energy has to be focussed on now and not used up in dwelling on 'then'.

It is an odd concept (and I know that it is totally different from your own situation, so I hope I don't sound flippant, or offend anyone in all my ramblings). Not dwelling on the past means letting go - not letting go of the good things, but letting go of the things that hurt, that made me feel sad, and that were (at times - and for both me and him) downright crap. It is about respecting his decision to do what he did - he has the right to be his own person, just the same as I have the right to be mine. It just doesn't mean we have to be those people "together". It is about still being able to laugh about stuff we found funny at the time, but to both acknowledge fully that this alone is not a reason for us to be together going forwards.

It is about deciding to make things work as they are now. We don't know what tools we will have for working in the future.....who knows what job they will have, what income is coming in, what interest rates do to the cost of our mortgage borrowing, what people are likely to come into and out of our lives? We don't know, so all we can do is to say that we can work with whatever comes our way, in the most positive and effective way that we can do so at that time.

It is about identification of who we are (and not just "us" but our families too) and about what we truly want. This is where MGs challenge is so perfectly timed, because although I have been making these exact same lists over the last few months, it is good to know that someone else wants me to do them too IYSWIM.

It is about learning from mistakes of the past, but being prepared to make mistakes again in the future, because it is only when we try things that we know whether they work. I would rather try, fail, and work on it again getting it right (or at least "more right") next time, than be too scared to even try.

And it is about enjoying coffee, and chocolate. Both of which, amazingly, are on my desk as I type

kavics17

hypno06 wrote: »

It is an odd concept (and I know that it is totally different from your own situation, so I hope I don't sound flippant, or offend anyone in all my ramblings). Not dwelling on the past means letting go - not letting go of the good things, but letting go of the things that hurt, that made me feel sad, and that were (at times - and for both me and him) downright crap. It is about respecting his decision to do what he did - he has the right to be his own person, just the same as I have the right to be mine. It just doesn't mean we have to be those people "together". It is about still being able to laugh about stuff we found funny at the time, but to both acknowledge fully that this alone is not a reason for us to be together going forwards.

It is about deciding to make things work as they are now. We don't know what tools we will have for working in the future.....who knows what job they will have, what income is coming in, what interest rates do to the cost of our mortgage borrowing, what people are likely to come into and out of our lives? We don't know, so all we can do is to say that we can work with whatever comes our way, in the most positive and effective way that we can do so at that time.

It is about identification of who we are (and not just "us" but our families too) and about what we truly want. This is where MGs challenge is so perfectly timed, because although I have been making these exact same lists over the last few months, it is good to know that someone else wants me to do them too IYSWIM.

It is about learning from mistakes of the past, but being prepared to make mistakes again in the future, because it is only when we try things that we know whether they work. I would rather try, fail, and work on it again getting it right (or at least "more right") next time, than be too scared to even try.

And it is about enjoying coffee, and chocolate. Both of which, amazingly, are on my desk as I type

Coming out of lurkdom once again just to agree with everything you said above .

hypno06

se999 wrote: »

Well here's a few to start with, a real mixture of styles:

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-16645674.html

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-16612371.html

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-16419150.html

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-24247741.html?premiumA=true

I prefer the first one.

The second one made me go "!!!!!!" with its description including "the usual domestic offices".......!!!!

Suddenly, I feel very inadequate. :rotfl:

Souk08

OOh property !!!!!!. Love the last one, in Cornwall. spacious, clean and modern do it for me. X

beanielou

No 4 for me too.

Karmacat

Hiya! Wow, I see I've come back at a real turning point for you, Hypno - sounds like you're really about to take off and fly, how lovely!

hypno06

Welcome "home" KC.

MrsMoo2U

hypno06 wrote: »

Not dwelling on the past means letting go - not letting go of the good things, but letting go of the things that hurt, that made me feel sad, and that were (at times - and for both me and him) downright crap. It is about respecting his decision to do what he did - he has the right to be his own person, just the same as I have the right to be mine. It just doesn't mean we have to be those people "together". It is about still being able to laugh about stuff we found funny at the time, but to both acknowledge fully that this alone is not a reason for us to be together going forwards

It is about learning from mistakes of the past, but being prepared to make mistakes again in the future, because it is only when we try things that we know whether they work. I would rather try, fail, and work on it again getting it right (or at least "more right") next time, than be too scared to even try.

And it is about enjoying coffee, and chocolate. Both of which, amazingly, are on my desk as I type

Hypno, I just want to say that I am glad that you have "arrived" at this point. When I found myself in the same situation my sister told me that one day I would "arrive" at the point where I could see to move on. I didn't believe her but when it happened I said much the same as you are saying here. :T:T.

MGs challenge is there but as always, you have just been open to the challenge and spotted an opportunity because you are ready for it and ready to move forward. It is lovely to see that you can still share the memories of the good times with your now friend. Keep that friendship it is probably the most special friendship that you will ever have and there are very few ex couples who can move towards that.