MSE Parents Club Part 13

ladybirdintheuk

I've not caught up other than the last 2 pages, so I'm going to jump in with both feet.

Beccles I love the piccies
CFAC girl, I had a book called "what to expect in the first year". It covers a chapter a month (plus a few extra chapters about specific things) going over common issues at about that time, and gives a list of what your baby should be doing, and might possibly also be doing (with gradual levels ... it lists things that 90% of babies can do by X months, some things that 50% of them do, and some that 25% of them do I think... but in a way that stresses not to worry if you're not there yet as they all develop at their own rate). I found i read it religiously for the first few months then after a while I started to trust my instincts and worry a bit more.

I'm reading a book called "toddler taming" now (very slowly and gradually) as now I'm actually having to worry about how to stop her wrecking the place/eating rocks/running away from home to join the circus I'm back to the "eep, how does this work" stage of parenting!

We did our free venture shoot today, which was fun - the bit where we break it to them that we can't afford to spend £90 on top of the vouchers we have for 1 photo, so will just be getting the free one comes next week. We have £145 of vouchers and were prepared to put a little bit towards upgrading to a slightly bigger picture/nicer frame, but the cheapest one is £250. :eek:

We will have to look up a photographer where you just pay £X for the shoot, then get all the photos on disk afterwards. GISI you did a photoshoot recently - who was that with?

ajaney

CAFCGirl wrote: »

this is going to sound like a very odd question but to any new first time mums/mums of one..... or anyone for that matter:

Does anyone else feel like they've haven't really got a clue what they're doing???

I'm having a day of feeling totally lost over raising my son.... not in a negative/depressive way really, just I feel like I'm going through motions, like feeding him, winding him, putting him down to sleep, bathing him etc..... but it all feels really mechanical..... that sounds like I'm not bonding with him, I am, I just don't really know what he should be doing/moving toward/achieving...... and I know all that is dependant on babies individually.... but its like he's 5 weeks old and I feel like nothing has changed since he was born....and I feel like I should be introducing certain things to him to help him grow but I havent got the foggiest what?.....

Apologies if that makes no sense, I keep reading it back and re-writing it so it makes a bit more sense but I'm finding it really hard to explain it....

Hi,

My lo entered the world 29/06/10 - 4 weeks early :eek:
I'm a first time mum too & omg isn't it daunting! I have got a 'baby gym' & 'Bouncy chair' both £20 each from argos. Matthew lays on his back on the baby gym & I talk to him & encourage him to reach / hold on to the toys. Progress is limited lol but he is starting to reach out & try to grab them. I think as we are with them everyday, we dont notice the little changes so much - my MIL said to me on Friday 'isnt he coming on, he's studying my face as I am talking to him'. It brought it home to me how much he is changing without me being totally aware of it iyswim.

He cant reach the toys on the bouncy chair yet, but they come off the rail so I hold them closer to him & sing/talk.

Sometimes I feel like a loon singing & chattering away, especially as he has been quite a sleepy boy & likes to spend a lot of his awake time rooting for my breast lol! I have & am finding the adjustment hard as there can be alot of repetativeness in the days without much in the way of positive feedback from baby but as my Midwife said, the first 6-8 weeks are hardest. Once he gets big enough to go in the baby carrier, i think this will give us both a new lease of life.

Hope this helps a little - I can totally see where you are coming from.

If you want to chat via email, pm me.

redstararnie76

jennynoo wrote: »

Redstar, your lights still on, GO CLEAN! (hope this is right)

Thank-you, I went

redmel1621

CAFC - Landen is only 5 days older than my LO, and believe me I know exactly how you feel about the 'going through the motions'........I agree with Becles and was having the exact same conversation with my friend only a few days ago, as cute as they look babies are boring, and if anything like mine not even very cute as she just whinges constantly!!!!!!

Then again it is nice when they can't run riot and climb al aver the furniture like monkeys, scratching paint off the walls and ripping borders......yes that is my darling 16mth old!!!!!!!

cazscoob

Sarah_Joanne wrote: »

Not far from you! I'm as far from Dundee as you but I'm the other side.

ohhhh not too far away at all then i will need to see what i can arrange x

keelykat

Evening I'm hoping I can come to the meet, I'll see what date you all agree on and see if I'm free

Elliot seems to be back to normal, eating loads so that's good. I need to see the doctor again tomorrow though-as my throat did get a bit better but now is so red and sore with ulcers So i'm not feeling too good.

Keely.x

Sarah_Joanne

cazscoob wrote: »

ohhhh not too far away at all then i will need to see what i can arrange x

Lovely I'm in Alyth, dunno if you've ever heard of it, it's pretty small!

Well I managed to go back upstairs and settle Alfie without feeding him again for the first time tonight :T Normall if he cries when I put him down I just go back and feed him some more and the only other time I've tried a cuddle and back to bed didn't work but tonight it did. Go me, lol! :rotfl:

We're watching that show about Amish teenagers, should be interesting.

searching_me

yayyy!! keely come see us lovely people .... glad your little man is better and ((hugs)) to you and MIL ...

going to trawl back and double check 'cant do' days x

ladybirdintheuk

Well done SJ

I'm going to have to wear the "bad mum" hat tonight I'm afraid. Izzy was too tired to go to bed properly, so her teeth are unbrushed and she is still in the slightly muddy dress she was playing in the allotment in earlier. So long as she has got changed before nursery tomorrow that is the main thing (she can save that for college like I did ).

esio_trot

An appropriate time as any to stop lurking here and actually post. My baby boy, David, was born on the 1st of July.

CAFCGirl wrote: »

Does anyone else feel like they've haven't really got a clue what they're doing???

Yes, every day. Starting to accept that that's just the way it is and the way it's going to be for a while but it really threw me and had me in tears most days last week! I really struggled to accept the whole "not knowing what to do" thing and it really threw me.

We've been having major problems settling D after feeds, to the extent I'm sure he's not getting nearly enough sleep I've found this really difficult and I feel a bit useless not being able to do something as "straight-forward" as get my son to sleep! THIS coupled with the fact that he had a virus that landed him in the local children's hospital this week, just compounded everything and I felt as clueless as I could be! That said, after a couple of nights in hospital and him being more settled, I got a bit more confident with him, though he's back to being a pain to get to sleep again.

its like he's 5 weeks old and I feel like nothing has changed since he was born....and I feel like I should be introducing certain things to him to help him grow but I havent got the foggiest what?.....

D has a bouncy chair and a play gym, but he doesn't tolerate time in them very well. He gets bored, no matter how much you play with him, and far prefers being held and spoken to/played with and as for things to look at, he's more taken by the black lightshades and curtains than any of his toys! He was given a high contrast (black, white, red and blue) mobile while he was in hospital and this kept him occupied kicking and punching away to himself for 20-30 minutes at a time so we've gone out and got something as close as possible to this for him, though as he only got home yesterday, not had a real chance to try it out.

We've also been trying to give D some tummy time, though again, he tolerates this better if he's on his tummy on my/his dad's tummy, rather than on the floor.

As for what they "should" be doing, development wise, I liked the Babycentre emails during pregnancy and I've quite liked the couple I've had since D's birth - might be a bit more MSE than buying a book A girl I work with likes the Pampers emails too.

Sorry if that turned into a bit of a ramble, I suppose what I'm saying is I do feel totally clueless too, but I'm beginning to think it's just part and parcel of parenthood!