Help needed!!! A long one!!!!

Tinkerbell1969

Hi There

You really need to congratulate yourself on recognising your problems and now work out the solutions. Alot of people have been there including myself and after 6 years hard slog - I am debt free!!

Start streamlining your expenditure, fill your time with improving quals. try your local learndirect centre or UK online centre - you'll be surprised what courses and quals you don't need to pay for as they are funded by government to help improve the nations skills - I work in this area, so would advise this step.

Go and do some car booties and also sell on ebay - this helped me to put food on the table and also pay some bills so it's a good little earner! You've got a car - why don't you try and deliver the phone books or something along those lines they pay good money.

Put some flyers in shops or do a leaflet drop around the doors offering your partners skills - I am desperate for a bricklayer at the minute but can't find one - you don't live in the North East do you???

You could also go to the Citizens Advice Bureau and they can negotiate with your debtors a minimum amount payable each month on your cards etc. Some of my Store/Visa cards I managed to get to pay only £1 per month and the CAB were an absolute lifesaver for me! Don't ever register with a debt agency as the CAB give the same service!

Lastly remember there will be light at the end of the tunnel for you even if it is only a small pin !!!!! at the minute, you'll get a buzz when it opens larger and larger each time a debt is repaid.

Best of Luck to you, you can do it!

Tinkerbell xx

Ex-Big-Spender

Hi Pink Girl !
I just want to say - I think you are brilliant for recognising the problems and you have been so positive already about improving the situation that things are bound to get better very soon.:j
I do agree with the other money saver who says it seems odd that your OH can't get any work - the construction industry is crying out for people at the moment - could it be that he is being a little short-sighted in his search for work ? I don't mean to citisize but it seems a little unfair that you have taken all of the burden of sorting the debt out and he doesn't seem to be too involved at the moment - is he aware of the extent of your money worries ?
Also, speaking from personal experience, there are some amazing anti-depressants out there and while I really wouldn't advocate taking drugs for the sake of it they can sometimes be the kick start you need. :T
Exercise is a great natural way to boost your feel-good factor and is free (walking / running / weights etc) and will also help you lose any weight you want to shift.
Have you thought about offering a dog-walking service to the local neighbourhood - combine exercise with earning money !!:j
If your OH is self-employed have you joined one of the trade warehouses for your food shopping - like Costco ? You can do a shop there where everything is so much cheaper than supermarkets and simply freeze the food into usable portions. Also, fags & booze are cheaper there (1 litre Smirnoff = £12.98).:beer:
Anyway - lots of luck with everything - if we can help we will !!
XX

tkblueyonder

I think you are being very brave pinkgirl, ultimately the banks and credit card companies are to blame is the way i see it. As with most people who are in mass debt you are realising you have a conscience and feel guilty for spending somone elses money,but, if they are foolish enough to give it then spend it, what can they take from you? your house (You dont own it anyway) maybe or your good credit rating maybe? gone are the days of heavy bouncers knocking down your door for a few quid or the food from your babies dinner plate............. in short my philosphy if they give it spend it they cant put you in prison or cut your leg off!!! you only live once you have one trip round the block!!! be happy and smiley allways X

my debt at last count 89,000 ish !!!

**purpleprincess**

I started making my own "takeaways" and they are much nicer than actual takeaways and LOADS cheaper!! Check out the OS board for ideas!! I make authentic tasting curries, sweet and sour chicken/pork, egg fried rice, ribs like in a restaurant. Has even got to the point now where if we do have a takeaway or go out for dinner, we often think "we could have made this and nicer for less"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tkblueyonder

if you are making takeaways at home how can these be takeaways LOL sorry blonde moment

pink_girl

Thank you all for your kind comments.
Im still pretty overwelmed at it all.
Im not sure that my partner does realise the extent of all of this, he knows how much we owe, the lack of money in our account, well lack of overdraft. He just doesnt seem to really care, and im not sure if i can do it on my own anymore. I am at the point where i see no way out other than an iva or bankruptcy, but i think that he is just too proud.
When he is out of work, he does look for jobs everyday but i cannot undestand why he doesnt get one, im mean there are loads of factory jobs. He said he couldnt get one as the birth certificate he has doesnt have his parents names on it. This is true for agency work, but why did he never get one!! I do love him so much and i dont blame him i just wish i had more help in the matter, but when we talk about it he doesnt seem to care or changes the subject. Im tired of him saying something will come up, it always does. He doesnt understand that next time he is out of work that is it!! We cannot keep living off the overdraft, as everytime we start to make a dint in it, he comes out of work, and we are back to square one! He is not a lazy bum or anything and has never claimed benefits. I think it just gets him do so much he loses faith.
I cannot stop spending money on crap, i want to clear my debt so much i really do but lack of support and help is driving me crazy! I think i have an obcession with buying stuff to try and make me happy and make life worth living. I know i cannot carry on like this but i dont know what to do at all!!!
You proberly think im stupid and ungreatful for not taking all your advise, im not but when am i going to realise the hugeness off all of this and try and sort it out.

pink_girl

johnboyle007 wrote:

Hi there

I think this may sound a bit blunt what I have to say.

Congratulations to you for realising the scale of the problem you have and trying to do something about it. Reading all the threads it appears that you are being given all the advice about what YOU can be doing cutting back expenses etc etc .

What I think you need to do is get your other half to read this and make him realise the state of things. This will sound very controversial but here goes unless your partner has a medical condition there is no reason why he cannot get a job as a bricklayer - the industry is crying out for experienced people. Even if there is no jobs as a brickky there are plenty going as labourers on site.

The only thing stopping someone getting a job today is being workshy - the salary may not be great but £150 a week is better than £0.

You can cut back your expenses but until you boost your income your mess will continue. Does his spending patterns change when he is not working or is it yours ?

I think that both of our spending habits change when he is out of work, we seriously spend more. I think it is because we both feel so low and spending pretend money helps somewhat!! Daft i know!!!