Help needed!!! A long one!!!!

pink_girl

Ok, I think it is time to confess!!!! I am in serious and i mean serious debt.............big debt and i really dont know what to do about it!!!

Here's the low down. I am not a complete angel in all of this and i will not try and hide the fact that some of my debt is just too plain old studidness and greed. I like.......I want.....I credit card it! But the main problem has been with my partners lack of job continuitity, and problems beyond our control, ie house, vet and car and what nots. I guess the main problem has been consolidating our credit, then having a lapse due to work or other problems, relying on credit cards and then being back at square one with a bigger loan and credit card bills on top of this. This has happened 3 times and now we are really in the S*&t!!!!!

I am so overwelmed at the enormity of our debts and i seriously cannot see a way out, i am at the end of my tether, tried of worring, crying and being mad at the whole world. I am seriously not a happy bunny anymore, i am so stressed and as a result i no longer care for anything. I have put on so much weight in the last 2 years, i make myself feel sick, but have no energy to try and do something about it! Ive lost all will!!! Im not feeling suidial, so dont worry but i do think im depressed somewhat!!

I guess you want the nitty gritty.........my figures!! So here goes!!!

Lloyds tsb loan - outstanding balance roughly £4000

Welcome finance secured loan- outstanding balance around £26000

Halifax personal loan- outstanding balance around £24000

Lloyds tsb visa- £4900

Mint visa- £2000

Virgin visa- £4200

Mint visa- £380

Halifax overdrafts- £1500

Lloyds tsb overdraft- £400

Catalogues- £650 of which £400 is not payable till July 07

Gas/electic arrears £500

So thats a huge £68530 roughly, and im sure with interest added it will be touching £70000. Wow even i am shocked seeing it there in writing!!:eek: :eek:

So here are my outgoings each month

Mortgage- £160.42 It is interest only for the time being and we are tied in till 2008. We owe around £38000 on the house and it is worth around £55000. I do not think with our credit rating and secured loan on the house that re-mortgaging is an option.

Welcome finance secured loan- £262.09
Lloyds tsb loan- £126
Council tax- £90
Halifax loan- £346.37
Gas/electric- £25.50
Water rates- £28.31
Mortage insurance- £8.53
House insurance- £28.94
TV licence- £11.37
Mobile phone bills- £60.00
Internet-£17.99
Car insurance- £35.89
Sky- £18
Camera insurance- £2.99
Mag sub- £7.50 (to be cancelled)
Lloyds visa min payment- £100
Mint visas min payment- £55
Virgin visa min payment- £55
catalogues min payment- £20
Food bills - £350
Cigs- £140 ( we have cut down and are trying to quid)
Friday night release- £20 per week for a bottle of vodka, some coke and fags. We are trying to cut this down to once or twice a month. We cannot afford to go out, so this is our treat.

car tax £95 every 6 mths
Glasses- £120 last year so will need a test and poss new glasses next year.



I think that is everything, let me know if you need anymore info!

So thats a total of £2044.40 a month.

Now for the wages part, this will be fun im sure!!!

My wages £800 per month
My partner's mum pays for the £4000 as it was taken out for her my me in a time of need. so we get £126 from her each month.
Oh wages last year based on tax return- £14000

Now my partners wages are the problem, some months he earns over £2000, then others absolutely zilch!!! He is elf employed as a bricky and im not kidding but he has only worked for about 3 months this year. He has just had 2 months out of work with no wages and he was unable to get a job even in a factory!! This is the main reason we are in as much debt as we are. I now the simple solution is for him to change his job, but it is not as simple as it is said. The money is good when he earns it and it covers everything and more but the problem is when he is out of work again. We spend nearly all the money other that the bare bones on paying the overdraft off so we can at least manage a few weeks for him off work, but it never happens. We start to make a dent in the debt then he loses his job and we end up back into the overdrafts and relying on the visa's to pay for the food shopping and the basics.

I am so tired of living like this, i hate my job but have to go to help pay the bills. I know that nobody really likes the mundane way of life that work is, but i seriously hate it. It makes me so upset having to drag myself out of bed each day. I have always enjoyed going to work, but since i changed jobs about 3 years ago, i have been so unhappy. But i am tied to it as i am unskilled and it pays more than the minimum wage. I cannot just up and leave or find a job that pays the same or more without qualifications. I cannot study as i cannot afford to do so, so im stuck in a catch 22 situation.

I have no life, ive lost my friends as i cannot afford to do anything. I get up, go to work and then come home everyday. I have nothing to look forward too, i cannot remember the last time i went out and had fun. I cannot remember a time when i laughed so much it hurt. I am just working to exist and i feel that i am missing out on so many opportunities. Im only 24 and have had my mortgage since i was 19. I feel old before my time. I love my partner so much and am happy with him and our relationship. I am left wondering if there is a way forward. Everytime we start to get somewhere, something happens, like Thursday, not one but 2 tyres died on us costing£90 which had to be visa'd! I seriously dont know how much more of this i can take.

Sorry its been a long one, i just had to get it off my chest and hope someone can help us.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and thank you in advance for any replies.

Pink_girl xx

saubryn

Welcome Asking here for advice is a great idea, and I'm sure you'll get yourself sorted.

I'm not the best person for going through SOAs, but looking at your wage - have you tried studying with the Open University? It looks like your income is low enough that you could get a grant to pay for their course fees, and they have courses for almost all interests. You could study for a certificate which would only take 6 months or a year, then keep going for a degree afterwards. The certificate might even be enough to help you get a better job.

pink_girl

saubryn wrote:

Welcome Asking here for advice is a great idea, and I'm sure you'll get yourself sorted.

I'm not the best person for going through SOAs, but looking at your wage - have you tried studying with the Open University? It looks like your income is low enough that you could get a grant to pay for their course fees, and they have courses for almost all interests. You could study for a certificate which would only take 6 months or a year, then keep going for a degree afterwards. The certificate might even be enough to help you get a better job.

I have looked at the Ou but any help money wise was to no avail. They take into consideration my partners wage too, and i dont qualify, but thanks for the idea.

CLAPTON

a few questions

can you work out what you OH average income was over the last year?

how much is the house worth and how big is the mortgage?

bobsa1

Has your DH registered with all agenices etc & tried to get a job with the big building firms?

If this insn't an option what is he doing to drum up trade locally? I know loads of people who are always looking for tradesmen so has he actually advertised for work, even with flyers?

On your soa you haven't put down food.

Also are you tied into a mobile phone contract as £60 seems high

pink_girl

CLAPTON wrote:

a few questions

can you work out what you OH average income was over the last year?

how much is the house worth and how big is the mortgage?

The house is worth about £55,000 and the mortgage is £38000. I seriously dont think that remortgaing is an option with our credit rating and the secured loan on it.

OH earned about £14000 last year according to his tax thingy!!!

pink_girl

bobsa1 wrote:

Has your DH registered with all agenices etc & tried to get a job with the big building firms?

If this insn't an option what is he doing to drum up trade locally? I know loads of people who are always looking for tradesmen so has he actually advertised for work, even with flyers?

On your soa you haven't put down food.

Also are you tied into a mobile phone contract as £60 seems high

He is registered with all the agencies, done the flyer thing and tried with all the big agencies, so we are just waiting at the mo, but he is working for the next 3-4 weeks.

Food bills are around £350 a month and that is both our mobile bills. OH is normally only £20 but he has been ringing around for work. I am tied till next June but OH is getting rid of his contact and doing PAYG, went we can afford a sim card. I will update my soa with this info.

Thanks:D

Mrs_Sparkle

Welcome Pink_Girl and please stop giving yourself a hard time. There are a lot of us here in debt due to simple overspending and no one is going to give you a hard time. The worst part is writing it all down- that hurts, doesn't it? But it gets better from now on.

Firstly is there any way you can boost your income? Maybe a part time cleaning or supermarket job in the evenings or on Saturdays- just to give you a bit extra. Next I would go through your house and flog anything you can live without on eBay. Don't be tempted to spend your earnings on more stuff- withdraw it and pay a chunk off your Mint card. My final advice would be to look at the APRs for your Visa cards. Are they all on 0%? If not you should apply for a new 0% deal and transfer your balances so you're not paying interest.

Good luck hun and here's a (((hug)))

C x

CLAPTON

ok so

income is 800 yours
OH 816 (assumed 14,000 gross less 30% tax etc)
from OH's mum 126

total 1,746

spending including all debts is 1,454
so you should have a surplus of about 300
which you obviously dont have.

so the first thing to do is to find out where the money is really going

start a spending diary (both) and write down absolutely everything you spend.

things not on the budget that you need to consider

food
tax tax
MOT
servicing,
petrol
clothes
any work related things, lunches, snacks, coffees, parking, travel
anything spent at xmas, present, going out, takeaways.

must find out what you spend before reaching any decisions.

bobsa1

Can DH get an evening job, bar work etc so that he has some income when not in regualr work?

pink_girl

Mrs_Sparkle wrote:

Welcome Pink_Girl and please stop giving yourself a hard time. There are a lot of us here in debt due to simple overspending and no one is going to give you a hard time. The worst part is writing it all down- that hurts, doesn't it? But it gets better from now on.

Firstly is there any way you can boost your income? Maybe a part time cleaning or supermarket job in the evenings or on Saturdays- just to give you a bit extra. Next I would go through your house and flog anything you can live without on eBay. Don't be tempted to spend your earnings on more stuff- withdraw it and pay a chunk off your Mint card. My final advice would be to look at the APRs for your Visa cards. Are they all on 0%? If not you should apply for a new 0% deal and transfer your balances so you're not paying interest.

Good luck hun and here's a (((hug)))

C x

I have sorted some stuff out for ebay today, so that is going on there. Im going to get them to pay by chq, so i can afford to post the stuff out. I havent really got much as i sold nearly everything last year to get us out of a pickle. But every little helps!!! So Tesco say!

I have applied for a new credit card with 0% but only was offered a small amount, it wouldnt cover any balances so i dint take it up or i would of just spent it for food, so i guess i stopped us getting into deeper debt.

I spent friday night trying to get a bar job or something, but to no avail as it was mostly daytime work. I work mon-sat as weekend work is not really an option unless it is a sunday. I am looking though.

Thank you for your kind words, im just feeling really down at the moment, it is all getting a little too much for me. But i feel better getting it out into the open.

Thanks