"Punishing" bankrupts

MicheH

I think what happens is we have our comfort zone on here. Now I have not been a regular on here for a while so many people may not 'trust' me or my intentions. If you're vulnerable you can pick things up the wrong way. I sure have on here.

I'm not new, I've been through an awful lot and shared very deeply on here about myself.

Wolfers I will be unhappy if it was my post that made you upset, which I feel it may be as it was done in a hurry and not in my usual heartfelt style. Having a debate or a discussion is one thing, asking for help regarding bankruptcy matters is another entirely. Many people know I pride myself on my tact and diplomacy.

wolfers

MicheH wrote: »

Wolfers I will be unhappy if it was my post that made you upset

I'm quite certain that no-one intended to upset anyone. I did get upset -- I can't remember whose post it was now, though the "thief" thing was also part of it -- but that's because I guess I'm still feeling more fragile than I realised. After all, I've only just had my OR interview and I'm still feeling a little unsettled and uncertain.

Predominantly, I'm feeling very positive -- such a relief to not obsess about money all the time. I didn't realise how much I was doing that until it stopped.

With the exception of the very first thread I started (which was answered by a troll and was swiftly removed by the authorities) this forum has been an incredible source of support and information and I'm much the better off for it.

I fully intend to return the favour by helping the newbies

MicheH

I'm nearly ad AD wolfers and let me tell you that it does get better, look at my past posts, the roller coaster it has been, many tears shed and tales of 'woe me'. Many people told me it would get better but you can't take it in at the time. BR is all consuming but not for ever.. you'll be like me soon enough, making blase comments forgetting that there's vulnerable people right back where you were. Sorry wolfers - thing is I don't normally get involved with opinion stuff, why o why i did today shesh, I don't know! As long as you're alright, see you on the board! x

GEEGEE8

I generally make a joke of me being bankrupt - it's because it doesn't bother me anymore and I can move away from it gradually. Just as you will !
I cried my eyes out on the phone to my OR. Those were some of the hardest times.

onward

What a great thread to read, and I mean that sincerely. Only those who have gone through BR (or those close to people who have) can understand the emotional turmoil of it, feelings of failure, guilt, shame, often undeserved.*

I'm almost 5 months into my BR, and it's not been easy. I was in arrears on my gas and electric (but my provider has been fine with this and I'm now paying on time), arrears on my mortgage (again, the provider is happy I am paying on time now), my landline was switched to my broadband/tv provider and they are happy that I'm paying on time.

The only pain at the moment is my mobile provider who insists on calling me every other week to other me an upgrade and a new contract (that I know I'll fail the credit check for). I just say...not now thanks.

I've still struggled to pay my bills as my income fluctuates, but family have helped me each month until I get my income up. I skinned my SoA down to the quick to have the least deficit possible (was worried I'd be refused BR if my expenses were too much higher than my income), and the good news is I have a new job that starts in a couple of months (a regular income will be a nice thing). The downside is that at 7 months I may well end up with an IPA based on my super-super-cautious expenses estimate.

But...let's get things in perspective. I no longer keep the curtains closed because I'm scared of someone coming to the door. I can answer the phone. I read my post.

Priorities, perspectives and problems change, but I would not go back 6 months, now matter how much I am 'punished' now.


* I do not include in this category those who play the system to live it up knowing it is someone else's money they have no intention of repaying. I dislike these people intensely, because the rest of us are judged by their behaviour.