He said he wanted affair then changed his mind

dmg24

I am pretty sure this is not a troll. There is a regular MSEer (or at least she was, I haven't seen her about for a while) who is a tad naive and has talked about her 'friendship' with a married man before, an almost identical story. I'm not going to give away names, she used to post some rather odd stories on the Employment board in particular, and she had several different usernames.

If it is her, I think she just lives in a very different world to the rest of us. She has been sacked from numerous jobs, left uni twice because she didn't know what she was doing ... You get the impression!

property.advert

clearingout wrote: »

Assuming it's a 'real' thread....

My life was torn apart by a selfish...person like you. I have no doubt my ex husband told his mistress all about our dreadful sex life, the lack of intimacy, that I didn't understand him...she was, no doubt, suprised to learn that 2 weeks after he left me for her, I was actually newly pregnant with our third child, conceived 4 days before he walked out. Imagine that! Married people sleeping together! Amazing!

Any decent woman, at that point, would have put two and two together. But not her. She fought me - in every way possible but physical. The pair of them came up with all sorts of ridiculous excuses for the pregnancy, told the world and his wife what a dreadful person I was and how I was trying to break them apart. When the bump appeared, well, they didn't know where to put themselves. 9 months later I gave birth on the due date - which put a stop to all the rumours (he's a clever baby, he really is!) but that didn't stop the demands for DNA tests.

14 months later and my ex turned up on my doorstep crying. The penny had dropped. She hated our children, had been abusive towards them, was jealous of the fact he loved his boys, including the third one he had up to that point rejected. He was sorry he'd divorced me (oh yes, added that insult to the injury as well!) and was there anyway back for us?!

When my dad died, he stopped the children attending the funeral. He made up stories of domestic abuse and had me thrown in a police cell at 19 weeks pregnant because he couldn't face up to his affair. His girlfriend was hidden behind the hedge whenever he came to my home. He didn't admit she existed for 6 months and after living with her from day one, he has still to admit to this some 19 months later. He doesn't pay child maintenance and has not made a penny's contribution to his baby's upbringing at this point. But he has had 3 holidays, numerous weekends away, theatre breaks, spa days, new clothes....he also gave his girlfriend a salary and a company car for good measure.

THAT is the kind of man...indeed, person, you are getting involved with. One who doesn't give a ...stuff about anyone else. One who will fight to the bitter end for every last penny and spend it on himself. He is someone who will never be happy because he can't face up to the fact that he has a part to play in all of this - our marriage wasn't perfect, not at all, but I didn't deserve this. And actually, neither did his girlfriend (now ex, I think).

No good will come of it.

A truly moving post, thanks for sharing.

As a bloke, we can change our minds and some of us do realise that we have a higher responsibility to our kids than to ourselves. Not many of us it seems, but some.