He said he wanted affair then changed his mind

mackemdave

the_cat wrote: »

Slow afternoon at the office is it?

Assuming this is for real (unlikely!) then he has just avoided making a big mistake.... YOU!

More like a slow afternoon in the IT lesson....Very childish thread

AlwaysWorking

:rotfl:This HAS to be a joke thread! Surely no one would be stupid enough to think we would advise them how to ruin someone else's life?!

Meepster

This has to be a fake thread, whoever heard of a man with morals?

euronorris

AlwaysWorking wrote: »

:rotfl:This HAS to be a joke thread! Surely no one would be stupid enough to think we would advise them how to ruin someone else's life?!

You'd be surprised.

Had someone ask me, in all serious, how she could convince a guy to leave his wife!! She honestly thought she was the injured party and HATED his wife. I told her to leave him alone and she reacted like I'd just told her to cut off her right arm! God only knows what she thought I was going to say!

Anyway, whether or not she would've gone as far as posting on an internet forum about it is another story.

DVardysShadow

what_shall_i_do wrote: »

[In reply to]

You don't proceed.

He is married, happy or not he needs to close one relationship before starting another.

But how do I give the confidence & courage for him to do that?

You are being dim.

If someone leaves a partner and goes single, you can be fairly sure that the ex was bad enough that they prefer being single. So you can take your chances with them, believing in yourself that they would prefer to be with you rather than single.

But if they jump into your bed while their old bed is still warm, you can only suspect that they may well have left a good partner because the grass is greener and may treat you the same.

OrkneyStar

walk away....simple as!

paddy's_mum

Perhaps he's trying to let you down gently by withdrawing his comments. Perhaps he's realised that a woman who having thought it all through is willing to go open-eyed into an adulterous relationship is not the sort of woman he can admire or love.

I'm curious to know (whether or not this is a troll post) how anyone can say that they "know .. they haven't had a physical relationship in two years" but then go on to say that "I don't know his wife". If you don't know her, where do your facts come from ... been lurking at their bedroom window every night?

thorsoak

Walk away - now. He has behaved abysmally - and so have you.

And remember the old saying ....when a man divorces a wife, and marries his mistress - it leaves a vacancy - for a mistress.

Gingham_Ribbon

what_shall_i_do wrote: »

But how do I give the confidence & courage for him to do that?

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

'I want sex. He doesn't. Obviously he's just lacking in confidence and courage. How do I help him overcome his obvious personality flaw so I can get some?

Hilarious.

clearingout

Assuming it's a 'real' thread....

My life was torn apart by a selfish...person like you. I have no doubt my ex husband told his mistress all about our dreadful sex life, the lack of intimacy, that I didn't understand him...she was, no doubt, suprised to learn that 2 weeks after he left me for her, I was actually newly pregnant with our third child, conceived 4 days before he walked out. Imagine that! Married people sleeping together! Amazing!

Any decent woman, at that point, would have put two and two together. But not her. She fought me - in every way possible but physical. The pair of them came up with all sorts of ridiculous excuses for the pregnancy, told the world and his wife what a dreadful person I was and how I was trying to break them apart. When the bump appeared, well, they didn't know where to put themselves. 9 months later I gave birth on the due date - which put a stop to all the rumours (he's a clever baby, he really is!) but that didn't stop the demands for DNA tests.

14 months later and my ex turned up on my doorstep crying. The penny had dropped. She hated our children, had been abusive towards them, was jealous of the fact he loved his boys, including the third one he had up to that point rejected. He was sorry he'd divorced me (oh yes, added that insult to the injury as well!) and was there anyway back for us?!

When my dad died, he stopped the children attending the funeral. He made up stories of domestic abuse and had me thrown in a police cell at 19 weeks pregnant because he couldn't face up to his affair. His girlfriend was hidden behind the hedge whenever he came to my home. He didn't admit she existed for 6 months and after living with her from day one, he has still to admit to this some 19 months later. He doesn't pay child maintenance and has not made a penny's contribution to his baby's upbringing at this point. But he has had 3 holidays, numerous weekends away, theatre breaks, spa days, new clothes....he also gave his girlfriend a salary and a company car for good measure.

THAT is the kind of man...indeed, person, you are getting involved with. One who doesn't give a ...stuff about anyone else. One who will fight to the bitter end for every last penny and spend it on himself. He is someone who will never be happy because he can't face up to the fact that he has a part to play in all of this - our marriage wasn't perfect, not at all, but I didn't deserve this. And actually, neither did his girlfriend (now ex, I think).

No good will come of it.