He said he wanted affair then changed his mind

what_shall_i_do

Hi,
I recently went out with a friend who confessed he fancied me & wanted to have an affair with me.
I know he is married & that they havent had a physical relationship for over 2 years. They have a 14 year old child.
As it came out of the blue I was surprised but flattered & after giving it some thought & taking into account his home situation I decided to go for it.
The next time we went out I was shocked when he said he had changed his mind & didnt want to be seen as the "bad man" by everyone by having an affair, he would be faithfull & stay with his wife.
I think he is staying for the sake of his child.
I dont know his wife but he has said previously that she wont talk about their lack of intimacy & she definately will not seek outside help.
Now I am very confused & have to admit that I would very much like to have an affair with him but dont know how to proceed.

tasha-debt

You don't proceed.

He is married, happy or not he needs to close one relationship before starting another.

what_shall_i_do

tasha-debt wrote: »

You don't proceed.

He is married, happy or not he needs to close one relationship before starting another.

But how do I give the confidence & courage for him to do that?

System

what_shall_i_do wrote: »

But how do I give the confidence & courage for him to do that?

you dont ! he has clearly thought better of it , move on.

kitschkitty

You don't. Sorry but you are being selfish, trying to initiate a relationship with someone who has a child and partner already to think about, his happiness, and yours are not the most important thing here.

tasha-debt

Im sorry but you need to forget about him, he is married so there fore off limits.

Person_one

what_shall_i_do wrote: »

But how do I give the confidence & courage for him to do that?

You don't bother! I won't get started on my opinions of women who chase married men, but just think about the fact that if he had been willing to cheat on her with you, how could you ever have trusted him not to cheat on you with somebody else?

Leave them both alone, there are lots of single ones around.

Edit: I can't believe you fell for the old 'my wife doesn't understand me' line!

mackemdave

***fake thread alert******

maggied_2

Sounds like it......however just in case it's real, maybe you should ask yourself why you are so desperate that you would have an affair with someone who has a wife and child. Get a grip and leave them alone.

Stephb1986_2

if this is real then maybe you should go and find a man of your own not someone elses. Instead of attempting to be a home wrecker

the_cat

Slow afternoon at the office is it?

Assuming this is for real (unlikely!) then he has just avoided making a big mistake.... YOU!