A query...

billius_2

Nothing sinister in it... Private arrangement was set up for the children when I left ex!! Always paid within 3days of payday... Didn't want her having number, as always on que, a week-10days after she was given maintainence she was phoning asking for more money!! I made sure when I left, she had no debts or bills, (which I thought was only right), so she was left with a clean slate... (I left the house literally with the clothes I was wearing) And I admit I made a rod for my own back by once a week, maybe a fortnight I'd take her shopping, but the more I did the more she wanted!!! I had to draw a line at some point!! I'm now living with with my new partner... Who is expecting a child next week and live with MIL because we cant afford our own place for now!!! MIL doesn't want my ex knowing where we live... simple!!! She has been very unreasonable to my OH since she found out OH was pregnant... I honestly do not know what she is capable off!!! I am not trying to shirk my responsiblities!!! I'm doing my best too provide for all my children!! And have a quiet peaceful life in the mean time!!! Thank you for all your comments... And good or bad comments, evryone I read, not just on this thread, but all the other's have given me a balanced view on the workings of the CSA!!!

izzybusy23

billius wrote: »

Nothing sinister in it... Private arrangement was set up for the children when I left ex!! Always paid within 3days of payday... Didn't want her having number, as always on que, a week-10days after she was given maintainence she was phoning asking for more money!! I made sure when I left, she had no debts or bills, (which I thought was only right), so she was left with a clean slate... (I left the house literally with the clothes I was wearing) And I admit I made a rod for my own back by once a week, maybe a fortnight I'd take her shopping, but the more I did the more she wanted!!! I had to draw a line at some point!! I'm now living with with my new partner... Who is expecting a child next week and live with MIL because we cant afford our own place for now!!! MIL doesn't want my ex knowing where we live... simple!!! She has been very unreasonable to my OH since she found out OH was pregnant... I honestly do not know what she is capable off!!! I am not trying to shirk my responsiblities!!! I'm doing my best too provide for all my children!! And have a quiet peaceful life in the mean time!!! Thank you for all your comments... And good or bad comments, evryone I read, not just on this thread, but all the other's have given me a balanced view on the workings of the CSA!!!

Is your OH's baby yours? If so then your CSA payments to your ex will go down to roughly 16% as normally it would be 25% for 3 children, so divide that into 3 x 2 = 16% (8% taken for your child with OH). So once she realises that I would expect her to make your life very difficult.

And as a PWC some ex's are bloody hard work!! My ex paid nothing in April or May, CSA award started from June, still not received it though, likely to get it at the end of the month when all my bills have been paid and left me short of money or even over my overdraft limit.

I would like to say that I know you said 20%!!!! in your original post, but 20% really isn't that much; especially when its split between one child and PWC and another child and PWC and you are left with 10% for your own child, like what has happened in my case. If my ex was dumb enough to have a 3rd child with yet another woman, each child & PWC would all get a measly 8% of his wage...

Loopy_Girl

speedster wrote: »

bdt's oh's ex is NOT in a minority

Do you have statistical proof of this? Because I don't hence why I said I would like to think that bdt's case was in the minority.

Grow up Speedster and stop trying to stir things up that aren't there. You answered PHB and it was nothing to do with what she had typed but you thought you would take the opportunity to put the same slaverings from last night.

Loopy_Girl

speedster wrote: »

we all have carppy exes, but the key thing to remember is that the "PWC" holds all the aces when it comes to contact and more often than not, that control card is used to good effect.

Again, do we you have proof of this or is it just your assumption from you 'helping' all these mates and their stories that seem to appear on here?

btw what does carppy mean? crappy isn't a filtered out word

speedster

jeez. you're like a dog with a sodding bone.

of course the pwc holds all the cards when it comes to contact. the "with care" part kinda speaks for itself there doesn't it. when have you EVER heard of pwc fighting for contact?? or can you not grasp that either??

and last year there were over 95,000 C1 applications for contact etc. hardly a !!!!!!!g minority of contact blocking pwc's now is it???

or do these points go past the view from your blinkers?? it's no wonder you cant communicate with your ex.

speedster

and as i said earlier, for some, ignorance is indeed, bliss.

billius_2

Yes Izzy, OH's baby is mine!!! Which we both are looking forward too... And we are waiting for the backlash when her payments go down!!! I was paying roughly the same now as what I was when we had the private payment in place!! And (I'm not just saying this too gain browny points of anyone), we never thought about dropping the payments when LO is due!! So she has cut off her nose too spite her face, cos she will get less money from next month!! But as I said in OP it was just something she said and reading posts off this forum, that doesn't ring true...

Loopy_Girl

speedster wrote: »

and last year there were over 95,000 C1 applications for contact etc. hardly a !!!!!!!g minority of contact blocking pwc's now is it???

I don't know...it would have to be compared with the amount of PWC that don't contact block and then a % established.

You do know what the word minority means don't know? Just because there is a large figure doesn't mean it can't be in the minority. If there are 200,000 NRP's who get contact with no court action then yes, 95,000 would be in the minority.

Statements which a person perceive to be correct can't actually be claimed as fact unless they have the proof to back it up.

So I stand by the fact that I would imagine and hope that the severity of the PWC as in BB and bdt's cases are in the minority.

missmontana

I had all my exes details and it took them 4 weeks to call him on the number provided, so I'd say she contacted them long before!

PlayingHardball

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Do you have statistical proof of this? Because I don't hence why I said I would like to think that bdt's case was in the minority.

Grow up Speedster and stop trying to stir things up that aren't there. You answered PHB and it was nothing to do with what she had typed but you thought you would take the opportunity to put the same slaverings from last night.

Loopy is right - speedster hasn't offered any help or advice as per the OP's questions so I have to wonder why he trolls all these threads with nothing much to say?!? And...I wish that he would show more respect to us PWC's and not degrade himself by referring to us as 'dogs to a bone', 'hens', 'mare' etc. Quite seriously speedster, get a life! If you want to be on this board to help, then help, don't use this as an outlet to take your anger and frustrations of your ex out on every PWC on this forum, please.

Sorry to the OP for my assumtions, it actually sounds like you've got the right attitude with regards to supporting your children. Good luck with the baby next week. The only thing I would say is, it would be the best for your first child if he/she had better contact arrangements for seeing you, especially as you'll want them to bond with their new step-sibling-perhaps MIL would be accomodating.