Affair at work - advice please

Steel_2

robin_banks wrote: »

Yuor first on here in nigh on 8 months is re;flirty texts.

Not sure what your point is, though I can guess.

Some people come on here every day.

Some people only come on here for support when they need it and when life is good for a few months or years they don't visit.

robin_banks

Steel wrote: »

Some people come on here every day.

Some people only come on here for support when they need it and when life is good for a few months or years they don't visit.

How would she need support ?.

It's attention seeking, poss trolling.

Mark_the_owl

robin_banks wrote: »

How would she need support ?.

It's attention seeking, poss trolling.

As is posting arsey comments........

Ginger_Girl

Just to say thank you for everyone's honest comments. Really helped me and I've made an appointment to speak to a counsellor.

Proc

Ginger_Girl wrote: »

Just to say thank you for everyone's honest comments. Really helped me and I've made an appointment to speak to a counsellor.

You're welcome Hope it sorts out soon.

Mark_the_owl

Proc wrote: »

You're welcome Hope it sorts out soon.

Don't know how you've got the nerve!

M.Holloway

Well I don't blame you for cheating, we're only human.

Your job and marriage are big investments, and people don't like to walk away from those.

This new fella is something new and exciting, and we're designed to seek these things out.

I'm of the opinion that a woman would not cheat if all her needs were satisfied by her current partner.

But it seems that in your case its the pure thrill that is motivating you.

I can't tell you what to do but considering that the main big nice thing that you like about the new guy is that he is new. So flash forward, you leave your husband and end up with new guy. How long will you remain enamoured?

Are you someone who even likes monogamous relationships?

I don't.

I've always thought women are designed for short term monogamy (2-3 years) and men far more predisposed to casual polyamory [not polygamy]

Why is it that you got married in the first place?

As for your job, yes this will get in the way. But what's more important; what you want, or your job?

Mar10_W

Yea, give the girl a break. People make mistakes, thats life. At least she knows what shes is doing is wrong! Good luck whatever you decide to do!

gonzo127

M.Holloway wrote: »

I'm of the opinion that a woman would not cheat if all her needs were satisfied by her current partner.

now I have to say a lot of your comments are 'reasonable' however that comment above I find quite shocking as I could imagine if someone put that up about a man there would be a lynch mob starting,

This being said it does appear from your post that you are not one for a committed relationship which does explain your feeling on this

But I just totally disagree that the only reason a women would cheat is because her partner is not meeting her needs, and so in all reality it is the mans fault for them cheating since he should have made sure he was satisfying her needs (or of course vice versa with the man and woman)

M.Holloway

I'm talking in a broader sense here.

When I say her needs I don't mean just sexual.

I mean emotional also. And this encompasses pretty much everything about her.

For example what need is not being met? The need to be stimulated, to have a new experience and explore something new.

I'm not saying thats an easy thing for a man to just straight up provide, nor am I saying that he should. But that is what it is. She has an itch her man aint scratching.

Its far to easy to be complacent and blame other people, other things for everything that goes wrong in our lives, or that doesn't work.

It's a lot harder to accept responsibility and make a change.

For example I've been with girls who've been going through their sexually explorative phase, where they simply want to screw a bunch of guys to know what its like. So I've let them.

The choice is simple. She has a need to do something and you let her: she will thank you for it and will actually become MORE attracted to you.

She has a need to do something and you don't let her: Will work for a while but eventually she'll go behind your back and do it anyway. Which will normally mess up whatever relationship you had.

Now this might not be for everyone, but for someone like me you see's multiple people at one time its fair. Considering MY current needs are to sleep with more than one woman, but at the same time have a relationship. So I can either 1. be honest, lay it out for girls BEFORE I sleep with them and have lots of fun or 2. have a gf that I frequently cheat on.

I used to be reluctant to tell girls because I was worried I would not get to sleep with them, but that swiftly passed and I realised being honest to my desires and other people was the best way to go.

As a man it's always your fault, otherwise you never get any better.

You have a wife that cheats on you? It's YOUR fault because you 1. didn't spot it and end the relationship 2. didn't spot it before it happened and supplied the thing she needed or 3. didn't spot it in the first place and not even get INTO the relationship.

gonzo127 wrote: »

now I have to say a lot of your comments are 'reasonable' however that comment above I find quite shocking as I could imagine if someone put that up about a man there would be a lynch mob starting,

This being said it does appear from your post that you are not one for a committed relationship which does explain your feeling on this

But I just totally disagree that the only reason a women would cheat is because her partner is not meeting her needs, and so in all reality it is the mans fault for them cheating since he should have made sure he was satisfying her needs (or of course vice versa with the man and woman)