Affair at work - advice please

Ginger_Girl

One of the guys I work with started sending me flirty texts at our company dinner. Foolishly I replied. Since then for a couple of months the texts have got more and more explicit and we have met briefly on a few occasions. I love my husband but am finding it hard to stop this relationship before it really does go too far. I'm craving the buzz. I know I am risking my job and my marriage. I have never done anything like this before.

myothercarisaferrari

well what advice do you want?

You know what you have to do.

mrbrightside842

You don't sound too enamoured with this guy, so it losing your job and your marriage worth the buzz?

summerday

I agree with previous poster. You know that what you're doing is wrong, and you're risking your marriage. You've enjoyed the attention but it must stop now. Cut all ties and contact with this man. Take up a new hobby or something to get the 'buzz' you crave- bungee jumping or some other extreme sports maybe.

Just imagine how you'd feel if you found out your husband was doing this with another woman.

Bonnie2009

Never mind your job - if you want to hurt your husband more than he's ever been hurt before, if you want to see him lose all respect for you, if you want to make him paranoid in all his future relationships and if you want to feel absolute shame as he looks at you, then carry on as you are.

Otherwise, find some other way of getting your kicks - why not even try to find something that you and your husband would find exciting?

I would imagine your husband knows, deep down, that something is wrong - if you don't act fast everything will collapse around you. And it'll be all your fault.

Ginger_Girl

Thanks all for advice. Have been having some problems lately with stress and dealing with the sudden death of a close friend. Guess the buzz was helping take the pain away. Just needed to hear it from other people.

Bonnie2009

Ginger, I'm not trying to be horrible here, but when my ex husband was unfaithful to me, it hurt far, far more than if he'd died in a car crash. The sense of betrayal is just awful and the sense that your own history isn't true (if you understand me) made me feel like I was going mad.

pink_princess

I think it depends what your feelings were about 6 months previous for your current partner ? Before this new man was on the scene how did you feel about the current partner?
If the answer is you knew it wasn t right ,then id suggest neither are right for you ,just one feels an escape .
PP

Steel_2

Don't go there.

You could end up with no husband, an affair that fizzles out leaving you alone, no job, possibly no home if you end up divorcing and have to sell your house, and no money. If you have joint friends with your husband they could end up taking his side leaving you friendless too. And you family may get snippy with you.

Just so not worth it. Get your buzz from your husband if you can or failing that, take up an adrenaline sport to keep you busy and help you come to terms with your friend's death.

Ginger_Girl

Bonnie - really appreciate your honesty. I'm not a horrible person usually, just a very confused person. Reading this is giving me the strength to stop it and get back to being me.

myothercarisaferrari

I'm very blunt when it comes to people having affairs, having been cheated on and seeing the destruction it did to my mother.

Stop being so selfish and either end it, or let your husband go and find someone who respects him.