I am flailing, I am flailing....

moozie_2

lynzpower wrote:

Moozie & KAth, you guys have been here a while, do you get this as well? If so how do you get ON with it, just feel like curling into a ball

Do I feel like the debt will never be paid off, I will always be counting the pennies and I will never be able to spend money again without thinking 'that could be going off my CC/OD!'? Do I feel like I am stalling behind everyone else while they are buying houses/cars/luxurious holidays? Do I wonder if this is how it's going to be from now on?

OH YES!!! Many many times! By no means not all the times but there are days where I think things will never get better. I find, a good moan on here helps on some days. On other days, I just like to curl up in bed with hot drinks, DVDs/magazines and low lighting!

Just do what ever it works for you and I know you know deep down that the world will brighten up again soon :grouphug:

ZTD

kathfisch wrote:

ZTD, you do talk sense!

Only sometimes. Just ask the OH...

kathfisch wrote:

I'm quite a proactive person I think - I hate the feeling that things aren't getting anywhere - but then sometimes I just can't get up the motivation to do anything, for fear of failure really go figure! :rolleyes:

It's all part of the conflict of emotion that makes up the human psyche. Fear - even the fear of failure - does paralyse. The fact it only happens "sometimes" to you means that you must be successfully beating it up with quite awesome regularity. :A

I would just remind everyone that if you are making progress, then you will reach your destination - it's simply inevitable.

So now the hardest part of all: Don't worry about it.

I hope that made sense...

moozie_2

kathfisch wrote:

Lynz, I'm not paying off debt like yours but I am trying to live without any income (not counting quidco ) whilst looking for a job. I know exactly what you mean, today i do feel like all I wanna do is go back to bed! The list of things I should be doing is getting longer and longer - all connected in some way to promoting myself and hopefully getting work - but I just can't get motivated.

I don't know how I get on with it really, perhaps I don't :rolleyes: , but things do change and they do get better, which is a glib thing to say when you feel awful and it doesn't feel like it, I know.

The odd day off without doing anything 'productive' can be quite useful really, a chance to rest and chill out as long as you don't make yourself feel too guilty .

Sorry, not terribly helpful of me, if you find the answer let me know!!

I second all of the above which is said way more eloquently than I ever could! Thanks Kath :kisses3:

kathfisch

ZTD wrote:

It's all part of the conflict of emotion that makes up the human psyche. Fear - even the fear of failure - does paralyse. The fact it only happens "sometimes" to you means that you must be successfully beating it up with quite awesome regularity. :A

I would just remind everyone that if you are making progress, then you will reach your destination - it's simply inevitable.

So now the hardest part of all: Don't worry about it.

I hope that made sense...

Moozie wrote:

I second all of the above which is said way more eloquently than I ever could! Thanks Kath :kisses3:

Thanks to both of you :kisses3:

overbudget

And I fourth, fifth and sixth what CAFCGirl said! You have helped so many of us on this site - don't forget to give yourself as much (if not more!) than you give out here.

I'm still fairly new to all this but I had a real downer last week - it all seemed to be going awry and I was spending when I didn't want to. The mountain of debt seemed impossible and nothing was going fast enough. It's a horrible feeling.
I tried to focus on the positive stuff - looked at the money saved rather than the money spent, the things sold rather than those still sitting there etc and things are looking better this week.

Remember how far you have come - and give yourself a treat as a reward for being a fab MSE!

:grouphug:

Snaggles

Does anyone watch 'Lost'? (Bear with me, I'll get to the point in a sec!). In the very first episode Jack is talking about fear and he says something along the lines that if he is scared, he lets himself feel the fear for five seconds, then he pulls himself together and faces it. So maybe you should just allow yourself one day of feeling !!!!!!.....just one day of really feeling sorry for yourself....and then tomorrow, wake up, smile (grit your teeth if you have to) and think right, no more feeling down, I CAN cope, and I wont give in. Look at the number of replies you have had to your thread in such a short space of time, there are so many people here who care about you and look up to you. I speak from personal experience when I say you motivate and inspire others. Take care lovely lady, you'll bounce back before you know it. xxx

tesuhoha

Hi Lynz, Im just going to waffle a bit. The end of August is a depressing time because its the start of the countdown to Christmas (expensive) the end of summer (days getting colder and shorter) and the beginning of the long autumn school term (hard work for me). I personally hate the autumn when everything starts to decay and die. I prefer winter because after winter comes spring and I just love the day in December when its the shortest day because after that the days start to get longer. Anyway, you say you are not paying off any debt, well what about those bank charges you got b ack? have you already paid them off the debt? Otherwise, it will go down. Have you thought about trying to write a book of some sort? Fiction or non-fiction. You have the time to do it. Havent you got your house doctoring to occupy you at the moment? You seem to have been on a bit of a roller coaster of emotions these last few months. Im sorry to hear youre down at the moment but surely once your flat is sold the debt will be paid off, wont it? Its a shame you cant work, thats obviously what you really need. You need the feeling of bringing in the bacon, but if you cant do it, then you just cant. Ive just told my daughter this as she had a fall last week and ruptured a ligament in her ankle and her ankle has swollen up and after a week she still cannot put any weight on it. She was offered one waitress job and 3 interviews this week and is totally broke and fed up because she cant do the job or attend the interviews. She was supposed to be going to the Reading Festival for the weekend but we had to sell her ticket. But i said to her there's nothing you can do. She just has to keep her foot propped up all the time (we went and got her as she had no food in the flat) and she cant even carry a drink because she has to hop everywhere. She has to go up the stairs on her bum. I know its not long term like you but she is feeling extremely p...d off. Also, she has a retake exam on Friday which she has to take and although she can get a taxi, theres nowhere near to the building where it can pull up and shes got to walk a long way and manage stiars which she cant do. The doctor didnt even give her a crutch, said it would b e okay in a couple of days but its not. Every time she tries to exercise it, its excrutiatingly painful. Its also bruised and swollen. Anyway, sorry to go on but I just wanted to say that seeing her the way she is after just a week I have some idea of what you must be feeling. Its very hard to stay cheerful and focussed when youre frustrated and bored out of your mind. But dont give up Lynz. There's a lot of people on this site that rely on your valuable advice. I think Martin should give you a job as online DFW advisor. You would be the best candidate for it. Anyway Lynz, sorry for the waffle but hope you can find something to occupy you and if Ithink of anything else I will come back but as I say I know how frustrating it is after this week, being confined and weak and having no money.

lynzpower

thanks tes, you are really so sweet xxx

Anyone want to bring me dinner round as theres something else Ive so--ing co**ed up.

Snaggles

If you were a bit nearer I would bring some of the blackberries I picked while we were out and about yesterday - never thought to do it until I joined this site, but they were lovely. I'm a rubbish cook though so I've every sympathy - it happens to me at least once a week (I just cook frozen pizza instead). In fact, whenever I cook pizza, hubby always asks what I've burnt this time!

kerryhoney

Indeed - everyone is right. I've only been on here a short while and you have certainly given me a piece of your mind! It's helped me loads to get in the right direction and starting to be tight !!!!!!. The tighter i am, the sooner I will be free! And I have got to thank you in part for that! So use all your positive energy on you.....and if you know that you're not overspending, and you are truly honestly being as good as possible then I guess it's just a case of patience. Hmmmmm!
Kerry x