please help, life has never seemed so bad...

pocketshell

Hi Merseylad

Thank you for your thoughts, I really appreciate that.
I hate being a nag and thats just how I feel atm, guess I'm just gripped by the urgency of it all.
I do love my OH and I think you're right about the way he's feeling, he's such a proud person and we never thought we would end up like this but I don't really care about material stuff, I long for the days that we had before money ruled us and our lives were simple, no huge mortgage and ate what we had in the house instead of the continual shopping trip, its like an illness that pervades your life and then you wonder how you ever did without it all.....actually quite nicely thank you, and thats what is sad .
cant wait to finish work today as I'm going to do as you suggested, probably on Sunday. Hope it goes ok, hope we can make some small steps forward together xx

RAS

pocketshell wrote: »

I so agree about the phone thing, I get in such a state that I end up never doing what is needed. If I'm having a bad day I dont even answer the phone or the door so I'm going to so have to plan for this!! lists sound good!

PS
Well done for getting this far this fast.

Re the phone calls, don't.

Debt collectors even from reputable banks and lender are pretty dire, They mention in passing dire consequences that are legally possible but extremely unlikely, so we get folks on here convinced they are going to be made bankrupt, imprisoned, lose their house and and.. None of whihc is going to happen.

It may be cold comfort but at the moment there are more and more people on DFW with one or two incomes and a good salary and debt problems.

Your are not insolvable. And you have hit it before it went seriously pear-shaped.

Take it one step at a time.

pocketshell

Thanks for that RAS, the phone call scenario is seriously panicking me, and I take everything so seriously I'm likely to pass out!!!

Feeling much better, going to get to the weekend, write my new plans thanks to the really helpful pointers I've been given and see how things look by tweeking it around. Then hopefully I'll be in a position to gently present some info to my OH and see if we cant start working together.
on a positive note, my eldest has an interview for part time work on tuesday, fits around college so really hoping for her, she wants to go for it, wants to pay her phone and clothes which would be great


just like to say thank you for everyones help this week, gone from feeling so bad to thinking that maybe if we pulled our finger out we could just possibly deal with this with a long term plan :beer:

RAS

PS

Glad re the interview for the eldest.

The children will probably feel more secure knowing there is a problem and you are all working on it than worrying that there might be a problem and nothing is being done about it.

Have you considered a store cupboard challenge? List all the stuff in the fridge, freezer and cupboards and then tyry towork out a menu that uses as much as possible and involves as little spending as possible. The family might find it quite entertaining.

pocketshell

that sounds a great idea, we'll look at that when I get home and have a cup of tea, my youngest is very organised and has an old head on her shoulders so would probably love this!!

dancingfairy

You could always give her a challenge - ie feed us all for x amount (ask on the oldstyleboard what would be a good challenge amount) and any spare change is hers to keep! You win because you get a cheap meal and if she can use up stuff in the cupboard and not buy much then she will earn a bit too , and she will feel like she is helping and she will learn a good skill!.
df

Wee_Jo

Hi pocketshell! :wave:

Happy Friday!

You sound much brighter than a few days ago! I just wanted to give you the meal plan ideas, I thought what would be best was if I gave you an example of a couple of days and then you can swap round with whatever you like / have in the
cupboards!

MONDAY
B'FAST: Poached eggs on toast
LUNCH: Pasta w/ mushrooms, peppers & bacon/ham in a sauce of tinned tomato juice (I make this in bulk on Sunday - about 4-6 portions which does me and hubby)
TEA: Spicy cous cous with sausages

TUESDAY
B'FAST: Sausage sandwich (my favourite)
LUNCH: Pasta (same as Monday)
TEA: Creamy chicken with leftover bacon and rice (this works well as all parts of it freeze so you can bung it in the freezer for another day's lunch or tea)

WEDNESDAY
B'FAST: Cereal
LUNCH: Leftovers of creamy chicken
TEA: Macaroni cheese (this freezes too)

THURSDAY
B'FAST: Scrambled eggs on toast
LUNCH: Baked potato with filling of choice (e.g. baked beans / ham & cheese / tuna mayo)
TEA: Spaghetti bolognese (freeze leftovers / take for Friday's lunch)

Okay, so there are some ideas, you probably get the picture - I like to cook in bulk and freeze / have for lunch the next day! Some people might find it a bit same-y but to be honest, I quite like having a proper lunch. At the weekends I generally make a lot of these evening meals and then freeze them, along with a big batch of soup (lentil / chicken & vegetable / leek & potato / mushroom) as soup along with a sandwich or a slice of toast and some cheese is also a pretty nice lunch. If there's anything on the list you want a recipe for or want more ideas I am happy to help.

As for the grocery shopping for it - you are right to do the cupboard check first. I am always amazed by what I find in there! And when you get to the supermarket, give the drop a brand challenge a whirl. I have and I've been astonished at a.) how much I am saving and b.) that I don't notice the difference between the brand types! Methinks we're being conned a lot of the time!

Anyhoo, have a wee look and if you need anything else, give me a shout.

Have fun!!

Jo

Wee_Jo

dancingfairy wrote: »

You could always give her a challenge - ie feed us all for x amount (ask on the oldstyleboard what would be a good challenge amount) and any spare change is hers to keep! You win because you get a cheap meal and if she can use up stuff in the cupboard and not buy much then she will earn a bit too , and she will feel like she is helping and she will learn a good skill!.
df

What a fab idea, dancing fairy! :beer:

pocketshell

I agree DF, that is such a good idea , she'll be getting a pen and paper when I get in!!

She is also a very clever litttle cook so I think she may be delegated making flapjacks etc for next week!!

Thanks for that info Jo, some great ideas there. I'm going to try to meal plan tonight and shop first thing tomorrow so its really useful to have that. xx

AnnieG

Hi Pocketshell
I just found your diary and didn't want to read and run. I know it's terrifying when you start this journey, but you're in absolutely the right place, there are so many helpful, knowledgable people here that it makes it all so much easier. Good luck with your OH, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you :0)