NOTICE TO NEWCOMERS - Part 7 !!!!!!!

handyman123_2

Ames wrote: »

Good news about MIL Handy.

I don't drink fizzy pop, only as a mixer. But I've been thinking ever since they brought out alcoholic ginger beer that I could just pour that in my whisky instead.

You Drink Scotch!:j Now if only Handy was single and 30 years younger.LOL:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
Ames your handy's kind of Gal. Stones Green Ginger Wine and Whiskey is known as a Whiskey Mac. It burns a wee bit as it goes down.

An old Mountain Rescue mate Tam Findley of Blairgowrie will only alow 1 thing in a glass of Scotch, that's another Scotch. Mrs Handy found that out the hard way when we went visiting. The window in his study wouldnt open and she had a 1/2 pint glass of neat Whiskey in her hand. The potted palm has never been sober since:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Sorry Tam if your reading this.:)

Cheers, handy.

Ames

I only drink scotch if it's single malt (so not very often!), but JD goes down well with ginger. I'm more of a real ale girl though really.

Erme

I have another one Ames...you know how raw onion/garlic is good for bronchitis (Handy you need to read the following and give to Lady H).....

Ever tried putting the onion in the juicer then downing the liquor?

...nought to toilet bowl in 3 secs or less....

(told you it was good for Lady H after she's stopped fending off those d**** badgers coming through the rabid hedge...btw...ever heard of weedkiller and an electric fence Handy? Or like rat poison?)

Guess the above (hope I 'aint offended anyone - veggies - I do have some guerrilla gardening for you to do... but you have to be at mine for 5am tomorrow morning with plants (vegetables and fruit) and tools) means I need a pill or two tnnight..been a strange day lol

Blessings....wonder what time I'll emerge in the am...6 would be nice...5.30 even nicer....7 is just simply half the day gone :eek:

E

handyman123_2

Ames wrote: »

I only drink scotch if it's single malt (so not very often!), but JD goes down well with ginger. I'm more of a real ale girl though really.

Erme wrote: »

I do have some guerrilla gardening for you to do..E

Ames as I type this I have a glass of JD and coke to my left and a bottle of Tanglefoot to my right, that's why handy will be logging off in a short while.

Erme, Why can't the guerrila's sort their own garden out:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
But Handy's up for anything:) I like the bit about an electric fence and weedkiller, don't think I hav'nt been tempted.

When I lived oop North the community service lads planted the meridian strip of the dual carriageway with daffodils. It was a good job they did until the daff's flowered. Then from the top deck of the bus you could read Get F@@@ed:eek: A day later the council had to come out and mow them all off.

Catch you laters, handy.

Erme

I have another thought..

Strange medical words Part (1)

Fluffy - puss infected or otherwise
Gunk - scab (s)

Handy or any other takers?

E

handyman123_2

i once bought Maggot a medical dictionary, he almost got us kicked out of a pub. He spent all night at the bar stopping passers by and asking if they had heard of Smegma, Gleet, Scrophulus ect, and then putting them off their drink by reading the description to them.

I will be back in a moment with a handy goodnight Joke, slight religious overtones but none offensive.

handyman123_2

Handy's goodnight Joke.

Kind actions reward good souls.....:A

A man named Ralph appeared before St Peter at the Pearly Gates.

"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St Peter asked.

"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered.

"Once, on a trip to the Brecon Beacons in South Wales, I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman.
I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.
So, I approached the largest and most heavily-tattooed biker and smacked him in his face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground, yelling "Now, back off or I'll kick the sh@t out of all of you!"

St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?"

"Just a couple of minutes ago………………..".:rotfl::rotfl:

Hope you like it.
Cheers, handy.

solventsoon

Tixy wrote: »

BUMP
Couldn't find any swim gear this morning which rather put paid to my intended exercise this evening (can't manage the gym currently so though swimming would be better than nothing). Oh well.

Have a good day everyone.
Back later.

Ahh but the thought was there Tixy, well done for getting that far;)


Quote:
Originally Posted by handyman123

I wonder what a shrink would make of Lady H. The only person to take her seriously is herself. When I got back she said the Police man at the station had been rather abrupt and had asked if it was April Fools Day.
.

Numpty_Monkey wrote: »

That shes a nutter:p

Think I tend to agree, Numpty:D

Tixy wrote: »

Does anyone actually drink full sugar pop?

I just had some full sugar tango (because there was nothing in the shop I wanted to drink). It tastes awfully sweet, I'm sure I can feel my teeth dissolving and I'm probably going to be bouncing off the walls with all that sugar. Yuk.

Just thought I'd share admittedly might be off topic but then aren't all our posts.

Is there a topic on here, I've searched and searched in case I was missing something:rotfl:

Full-sugar pop - yuk..... far too sweet. I drink the odd Diet C0ke but everytime I have some I remember what it does to coins and loos.... puts me off drinking too much of it;)

solventsoon

handyman123 wrote: »

Catch you later, I have to go and train the Fig Tree now, Sit! Stand! Rustle your leaves. If you sit for me I'll give you some fertiliser pellets.

Handy's getting as daft as Lady H.:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

What tricks have you managed to train it, Handy, fetch? and does it stay on command (unlike Fred)?

Just catching up on here, any news about MIL yet?

PS: Just caught up and spotted the news, that's good, hopefully she'll start making some improvement now.

PPS: Love the joke:rotfl::rotfl:

solventsoon

Numpty_Monkey wrote: »

here's a post that might make yopu giggle #1

I was going to post it before the interwebby stuff

Love it Numpty:rotfl::rotfl: