NOTICE TO NEWCOMERS - Part 7 !!!!!!!

swanfan02

Evening everyone, cold continues to get better. Hope you are all well.:)

AllieBallie

evening swanfan02 glad cold is getting better

AllieBallie

I'm off to bed now, got to get up early tomorrow but i still need to take Jake back (even though he's snoozing on my feet right now) as my neighbours are now home, make my lunch and tidy my room as it looks like a mole tunnelled through my wardrobe = clothes everywhere!

handyman123_2

AllieBallie wrote: »

currently sitting outside with lappy the laptop enjoying a drop of cider

Handyman hopes its Scrumpy and not the chemical stuff that's never seen an apple. Real Scrump comes in Gallon plastic bottles at £3.00 a gallon. (best when green and cloudy)

I cant read and I cant write but that dont realy matter, cos I comes from Scrumpy Land and I can drive a tractor.:rotfl:

Hi all handy's been busy till late, numpty sorry I hav'nt called you yet, my new chinese I phone copy arrieved today. The instuctions are the size of a microdot. 3 hours and I hav'nt even got the back of the battery compartment!:eek::eek: when thats done I need to set it up, where's a teenager when you need one.

Back in a short while.
PS Mrs Handy's fine Lump removed ok, she's just sore.
Regards to all, handy.

never-in-doubt

handyman123 wrote: »

Handyman hopes its Scrumpy and not the chemical stuff that's never seen an apple. Real Scrump comes in Gallon plastic bottles at £3.00 a gallon. (best when green and cloudy)

I cant read and I cant write but that dont realy matter, cos I comes from Scrumpy Land and I can drive a tractor.:rotfl:

Hi all handy's been busy till late, numpty sorry I hav'nt called you yet, my new chinese I phone copy arrieved today. The instuctions are the size of a microdot. 3 hours and I hav'nt even got the back of the battery compartment!:eek::eek: when thats done I need to set it up, where's a teenager when you need one.

Back in a short while.
PS Mrs Handy's fine Lump removed ok, she's just sore.
Regards to all, handy.

Haha the iPhone doesn't have a battery compartment so its a VERY SUSPECT dodgy copy matey!! :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Have you seen my mention here #116 ? Maybe you can come up with a suitable reply.....

3Dogs

Erme wrote: »

Just listening to budget...sounds worrying but will all come out in the wash....dee dum...don't know if they're med assessing everyone on disability benefits starting in the autumn or just those on IB? cos I'm on disability benefits and stuff but it's not IB....also when is the DLA assessments (new ones) starting? Like autumn or like 2013? 2013 would suit me fine ..will dv be out of debt and working by then...(hopefully by end of 2011 f/t and by march 2011 (at very latest 20 hours p/t). That's my aim and to continue my frugal living.... and work on that.

E

I'm sure Georgie Boy Osborne said that the DLA medicals will start for new and existing claimants in 2013, Erme, so sounds like you will OK

AllieBallie wrote: »

hello, hope you've all had a happy Tuesday,

currently sitting outside with lappy the laptop enjoying a drop of cider and playing fetch with next doors dog, Jake, he's gorgeous but he's massive (a great dane pup yet he's still about 18million foot tall!) i want to keep him!

You WILL have a doggie of your own one day, Allie

handyman123 wrote: »

PS Mrs Handy's fine Lump removed ok, she's just sore.

Glad Mrs Handy's op went well - give her our regards won't you - if that doesn't cause [STRIKE]a ruccous (? to spelling)[/STRIKE] argument

I am having an early night as I had a bad asthma attack last night and have been exhausted all day, that is if I can get to sleep in this heat

Nite everyone

handyman123_2

Hiya 3Dogs, you will prob pick up this post in the morning. Thanks for asking after Mrs H. Things are OK at the moment cause one we are going up north at weekend and she can see her mum.

She's 94, Mrs H never knew her dad, he was killed in WW2. So that makes them very close. Untill 2 years ago the old gal was as quick as they come. Now she's got the memory of a goldfish.

She used to be so funny, asking for Euphonium tablets (Immodium) and saying when she got to 100, she wanted to go clubbing in a stretched anusol (Liomosine).

The other thing is no matter what our own problems, we are allways united in adversity, i.e Lady Hooray. When I get time I will explain to you all the situation (no slagging her off) its going to be on her own conscience eventually.

Got to go now, just got a message, see you all in a short while.

handyman123_2

never-in-doubt wrote: »

Have you seen my mention here #116 ? Maybe you can come up with a suitable reply.....

LOL :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:Definatly the chuckle brothers mate, In the Army when you were about to tell a story, they used to say sit down, pull up a sand bag and swing the lantern. :cool:

Well it reminds me of the time after a mega pishup in bonny jockland, Maggot the reverend Boon and myself booked into a very upmarket Hotel at Rutland Water. The poor young girl (V Tasty) looked at the 3 tramps walking in. We have a reservation I said, Ashby, Boone and Handyman. The girl looked us over and said you must be a comedy act! Your dead right said Maggot, which ways the bar.

It ended up a riotus night, Handy ended up face down, a house keeper parked her bike in the cheeks of my A, Booney started a sing song, and Maggot slapped a NATO liplock (snogged) on the manageress.

I would like to point out that I am a nice respecable middle aged member of society these days (he's lying his fingers are typing).

Cheers mate, sometime soon definatly. Handy.

never-in-doubt

handyman123 wrote: »

LOL :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:Definatly the chuckle brothers mate, In the Army when you were about to tell a story, they used to say sit down, pull up a sand bag and swing the lantern. :cool:

Well it reminds me of the time after a mega pishup in bonny jockland, Maggot the reverend Boon and myself booked into a very upmarket Hotel at Rutland Water. The poor young girl (V Tasty) looked at the 3 tramps walking in. We have a reservation I said, Ashby, Boone and Handyman. The girl looked us over and said you must be a comedy act! Your dead right said Maggot, which ways the bar.

It ended up a riotus night, Handy ended up face down, a house keeper parked her bike in the cheeks of my A, Booney started a sing song, and Maggot slapped a NATO liplock (snogged) on the manageress.

I would like to point out that I am a nice respecable middle aged member of society these days (he's lying his fingers are typing).

Cheers mate, sometime soon definatly. Handy.

You seriously crack me up mate - you're classic :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Got anything from your time at RAF Church Fenton then.... could be interesting!

handyman123_2

never-in-doubt wrote: »

You seriously crack me up mate - you're classic :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Got anything from your time at RAF Church Fenton then.... could be interesting!

The last time I was there, @ 2003. I had a joy ride with a young regular RAF jet Jockey who had just come off tornados. While we were flying 4000ft through cloud, he kept making a whining noise in the headphones the same as you hear when your sidewinder missiles are about to lock onto the enemy. Everytime we saw another plane he said guns, tacka tacka tacka, die you troll! He told me he was posted to fill in time before going to fly the E3 sentry AWACS aircraft. This is the one with the massive flying saucer on the top.

On his induction flight he was joined by 2 high ranking Army personell. During the flight the chief techie told the army what you are about to see is classified, if you tell we will kill you. we can detach the radar and fly it independantly of the aircraft. They watched the monitor as the plane shook and the saucer detached. (shades of star wars).

On the screen the techie flew the saucer away from the blip that was the E3. After a short while it was time to dock and the plane shook again.
Gentlemen said the techie, we are the reason for all the UFO sightings. This briefing is secret. What they had wittnessed was the pilot hitting the airbrakes causing the plane to shake and judder, and a simulation on the techies play station.

Army Intelligence = a Contradiction in terms.

Chuch Fenton Radar gets confused because it picks up the trains on the Leeds Hull line. Golf Bravo 123 Zulu, abort landing there's a train on the line.

Hope you like this, cheers handy.