Pregnancy's Best Kept Secrets

Eager_Elephant

This thread has bought back so many memories.

I had my first at 15, he was born at 2.15am and by 11 the next morning the world and his dog had visited.

My mum came out with the classic of 'what about contraception now?'. I had already thought about that but why was she so worried after the event, she should have had the chat when I was 13!!!

I did not tear but peeing hurt like hell, it was great in hospital because I used a bidet and then when I got home I used a jug. (no one told me I thought it up by myself)

My stretch marks were not bad but why do you have to get them on your boobs, bum, side of the thighs and the calfs - can't they stay in the middle.
You can imagine me going back to school to all these thin girls and there was me with stretch marks and a wobbly bum.

I stayed in hospital for a week and it was pure bliss, I even managed to breast feed for 6 months. When I went to school and could not breast feed my boobs would get so big and heavy that during break times I was allowed in the medical room to express milk and then store it in the fridge. (I think I was a bit of a novelty as I was the first girl to get pregnant at that school)

I swore no more children, I'm very career minded.

Fast forward a few years and I met my now husband and of course he wanted children.

We had one on New Years Day 2003, not the best plan. She was born at 11.15am and by 11.45am the photographer was in the room taking pictures to go in the newspaper. There I was sat in the bed with the sheets pulled up laying in all my own blood having to smile, I did remember to put some make up on that I had in my bag so the pictures weren't too bad.

This time being older and more assertive I told everyone that I did not want visitors and I would be round to see people when I was ready.
I think everyone should remember that you have the right to decide what you want and not do things to please the grandparents!!

Luckily I was only in hospital until that evening.

I'm sure I didn't get the after pains with my first and I remember saying to my husband that I thought I was in labour again. The pain was worse than labour and for the first time in 10 years I actually used pain killers.

I was lucky second time round with my stretch marks, the previous had faded so much you can only see them in certain light and wanting to prevent them second time around I used Tesco For Baby Stretch Mark Cream (not sure if you can still get it), I was a bit optimistic but I emerged stretch mark free.

I also tore quite badly but they decided that I didn't need stitching and I couldn't see what it looked like so I guessed they knew what they were doing. Only now I have what looks like 3 lips as one lip tore almost straight across, I think it looks odd but my husband thinks it's lovely and always compliments me if I moan. He calls it my War mark!!

Again the bleeding is horrendous, the first time I thought it would last a week, 6 weeks I bled and the second time I only bled for 4 weeks but luckily I was prepared both times as I had bought loads of maternity pads.

What can I say about boobs - during pregnancy my boobs stayed the same but my nipples wouldn't stop growing - they were like saucers, when I tried breastfeeding the 2nd time my boobs grew to about an E cup, my husband was so pleased but by god they were sore.

Also the midwives don't tell you that not everyone can get the hang of breastfeeding, 1st time I was brilliant at it, 2nd time she wanted feeding every 5 mins but she couldn't latch on properly, she lost some weight and I remember sobbing my eyes out as a failure and saying that I was killing her cos I couldn't feed her properly.
We had bought baby milk just in case and used that and hubby said lets treat you so I bought 5 lipsticks to cheer myself up.

Last thing, never forget that with each birth the length of labour is supposed to half each time. My first was 7 hours and my second just over 3 hours. I daren't risk a 3rd!!!!

EE

looby75

Just thought of another one.

Trapped wind...goes along with the constipation that a lot of pg women get.

You are so full of trapped wind you are scared that you might float off into the clouds if you can't realease it soon, but try as you might in the privacy of your own home you just can't let rip.

So obviously as soon as you go to your next mw/hospital appointment you suddenly get the almost uncontrollable urge to fart. Then just to make it even more fun your mw/doc wants to have a feel of your tummy, and presses in exactly the wrong place and all hell lets loose

skylight

Oh Elephant - your right! The other thing they dont tell you is visitors!

They descend. Without warning. And always when you dont want them!

We have had since the first, a rule that the first week is spent at home with just the family (me, dad, siblings) and thats it. Any visits must be made by appointment.

ailuro2

take a big bag of food with you in your labour bag- sandwiches,chocolate biscuits, juice etc. since they don't feed you if you deliver at 8:45 at night...all I got was a slice of toast and so I raided the picnic we had packed in case dh got hungry.Thankfully he hadn't, so I lay in bed,ravenous,having had nothing since the night before, and ate cheese spread sandwiches and penguin bisuits while watching my newborn daughter sleep.:D

Becles

Melissa22_Mum wrote:

The horrid *CRACK* noise and feeling when your waters break. Just as you settle down to watch Eastenders.

LOL - I'd forgotton that one! Both times my waters went seconds before delivery. With my second baby, the crack was so loud my Mam thought someone had been shot :rotfl:

bella4uk

Whilst in labour you resemble that scene in The Exorcist when the girl lying on the bed becomes possessed and starts writhing and screaming obscenties!!!!!I didn't know I could swear like that.
Your expected not to feel embarrassed breastfeeding in front of relatives, I was mortified.
Braxton hicks are scary, especially when you orgasm!
That you really do crave tea and toast straight after giving birth.
At our hospital they have these strange toilets that squirt up water to clean you then blow hot air to dry you......I will kill the person who invented them, I have never screamed so loud as when that water shot up!
Babies scream constantly between the hours of 8pm and 11pm every night for the first 3 months, they call it colic, I call it having a nervous breakdown.
That your going home clothes that you think you will just slip into won't pull up further than your thighs!

ailuro2

I didn't scream or swear, but I heard this wierd low pitched gutteral moaning sound and realised it was me. Ooops!!

vik6525

oh reading this is just reminding me why my son is an only child! but still, i gotta go with the 'kind lovely visitors' being the worst thing... my son was born the day before new years eve 1999, so naturally, everyone came round on the day he was born cause they had bloody millenuim parties to go to the day after! I was sat there, with burst blood vessles all over my face, knackered from a 19 hour labour, looking like the girl from the exorcist, when my lovely new sons ENTIRE family came running in to see the baby! and by entire i mean all 22 of them! i mean, i know they were excited, but come on! a girl needs a little dignity and lipgloss....!

Jay-Jay_4

ailuro2 wrote:

I didn't scream or swear, but I heard this wierd low pitched gutteral moaning sound and realised it was me. Ooops!!

You can tell, while watching 'births' on TV, which actors have had a baby in real life! There is a sound which begins in the pit of your stomach and which rises through your chest to leave your mouth in a kind of demonic groan. It's uncontrollable and it's nothing to do with 'pain', it's venting the unnatural force that's building inside your body. It feels GOOD too!

Christmasshopper

:eek: And when you do eventually lose your excess weight, you are left with an apron of spare skin that flaps down and never ever goes away!