Complete shock! Please help/ advise!

Anonymousa

Paulgonnabedebtfree wrote: »

So maybe tell her how much you love her, tell her what you've found out, then tell her how much you love her again?
I would also suggest not doing it too late in the evening.

I once heard it said that everybody should swap their problems with someone else because we can all sort out someone else's problems more easily than our own.
See. I've sorted out yours already
EDITED TO SAY THAT I POSTED THIS BEFORE READING FURTHER DOWN THE THREAD - oops !!

I suppose if she owed a bit more, bankruptcy might have been a reasonable option for her. Get the whole lot wiped for about £600. I believe that under £15k it would have to be a DRO but not sure how that would work out as it's unclear which items would be regarded as her assets.

She doesn't really have any assets. Our sofa is hers, and our bed. We've bought some furniture together, but it was in my name on the invoice, and with my credit card (I pay this off every month!)

What is a DRO?

DVardysShadow

Anonymousa wrote: »

What is a DRO?

Debt Relief Order [I think]

Little_Miss_Uni-Debt

Glad to hear the talk went well and you're both facing it together

I think as you get to piece it all together and know exact amounts and who they are owed to a good plan will start to form.

Well done for helping your OH through this!

Anonymousa

Little_Miss_Uni-Debt wrote: »

Glad to hear the talk went well and you're both facing it together

I think as you get to piece it all together and know exact amounts and who they are owed to a good plan will start to form.

Well done for helping your OH through this!

Thanks. Not sure how we'll find out the exact amounts without contacting the creditors, and of course, we're probably best off doing that via someone who knows what they are doing.

Little_Miss_Uni-Debt

Just a thought to throw out there and ask - is it possible to request a credit report but at the old address, where the debt was accumulated and read it online (i.e not posted) Just to get to see what they have listed but at the same time not to give out the new address. I don't know if this is possible/a good idea but just a thought. I don't know if requesting your credit report makes you pop back up on creditors radar and makes them start chasing again. Maybe others can advise of this!

Edit :- Hmm, I remember getting a pin code sent through the post in order to use the credit report service but I don't know if that's the case for all of them...

Sarsie

Technically this is breaking the rule on not judging your actual relationship but- I think things between you have panned out remarkably well thus far. It's really good to hear how things went with breaking it to her, I thank you for the update.

Nargleblast

Hello again Anonymousa, have picked up your message - I'm no expert (apart from the school of Hindsight!!) but am always happy to try and help a fellow poster. I bet you feel so much better after having the Big Talk with your lady! And she must be so relieved it's in the open at last. So, action plans.....first, may I suggest you and she get together whatever paperwork she has relating to her debts, just to try and get a picture together of the situation. I am sure our friend Never in Doubt would be happy to give his opinion on some of the paperwork, you can try and PM him and arrange to email the scanned documents and he will tell you if these creditors have a leg to stand on or not. Some of the debts may well be unenforceable - and that is not being sneaky and skiving off her responsibilities at all, some of the Credit Agreements he has seen have been found to be in breach of the Consumer Credit Act in some way or other. Then, do the Statement of Affairs for your household, with her details as the main party's and yours as the partner. Once done, post it on here and people can advise the best way to tackle things. You have made the first step, it can only get better from here.

Sarsie

Anonymousa wrote: »

Not sure how we'll find out the exact amounts without contacting the creditors.

One way is to get her to apply for her credit files. They'll cost her £2 a peice plus a bit more for post office fees. There are three credit reference agencies she should apply to, get her to print and send off for them to:

Call Credit (box on right of screen with big letters says "See your credit report NOW", at the bottom of that a link says "Or request your £2 statutory report", click that)
Equifax (left hand side, at the bottom of that big box)
Experian

She can't use the free online credit file services because she hasn't got a credit card (you need one to register for it), even if she has a type of debit card they'll accept you wouldn't want her old accounts and new accounts linked at this stage if they are not already. Get £2 "statutory reports" through the post instead- they're no different. A £2 postal order costs £2.50 and then there's posting it too, so it cost me just under £11 to send for all three a fortnight ago by signed for 1st class.

Expect 1-2 weeks-ish before she gets them back (at her mothers). I got my first one after 10 days and I'm still waiting on the others after 12 days.

Obviously, if she's not admitting to the creditors she moved then don't tell it to the credit reference agencies either, information is a two way flow with them.

Tell her not to fill in the box marked phone number either unless she wants to be phoned up by debt collectors, let anyone that wants her write letters.

Anonymousa

Nargleblast wrote: »

Hello again Anonymousa, have picked up your message - I'm no expert (apart from the school of Hindsight!!) but am always happy to try and help a fellow poster. I bet you feel so much better after having the Big Talk with your lady! And she must be so relieved it's in the open at last. So, action plans.....first, may I suggest you and she get together whatever paperwork she has relating to her debts, just to try and get a picture together of the situation. I am sure our friend Never in Doubt would be happy to give his opinion on some of the paperwork, you can try and PM him and arrange to email the scanned documents and he will tell you if these creditors have a leg to stand on or not. Some of the debts may well be unenforceable - and that is not being sneaky and skiving off her responsibilities at all, some of the Credit Agreements he has seen have been found to be in breach of the Consumer Credit Act in some way or other. Then, do the Statement of Affairs for your household, with her details as the main party's and yours as the partner. Once done, post it on here and people can advise the best way to tackle things. You have made the first step, it can only get better from here.

Thanks. We have no paperwork. Part of the "if it doesn't exist, I can ignore it" thing, I think. Alien to me, but I understand it.

purpleheather2810

In your circumstances I would probably just do an SOA with approximate figures, as accurate as possible, and go from there. It would certainly be a help going forward and I'd imagine that any debt charity that you contact would want to have some kind of SOA to work with. Good luck with it all.