Real Life MMD: Should I tell on the little girl shoplifter?

holfie

What possible reason could you have for not telling the mum?! A four-year old doesn't fully realise that they are stealing - but that doesn't mean it's too early to start telling them!

minicooper272

I think we have all been in a similar position at some point in our lives. I was looking after a 6year old once who came out the shop with more sweets than she had paid for. I asked her but she denied it and of course, I hadn't caught her in the act so I couldn't prove anything. When she denied it, she had a smile on her face that looked like a kid with chocolate on their face but swearing that they haven't been in the chocolate spread.

If it looked like the mother knew the person serving, I would have said to both as the chances are, the shop assistant would have just made the girl pay out of her pocket money to teach her a lesson. At that age though, the child really doesn't realise it as theft - they just see it like sneaking into the biscuit tin but she needs to realise it's wrong and there are consequences. I realise why you wouldn't want to say though as I'd also probably worry that the mother would get really defensive and hit me or something... If you run into them and the girl does it again though, you have to say something!

whiteworld

A 4 year old should know that you don't take something that isn't yours. If I was the parent here, I would want to know.

Personally, I would not wait until they were outside as you are leaving yourself open for abuse if the mother takes exception to you telling her. I would let the mother know what her daugther has done in a loud enough voice for the cashier to also hear. That way, she has to deal with it.

A similar thing happened to me when my daughter (in a pushchair) was about 2 years old. Whilst I was paying she helped herself to a packet of sweets from by the till. As she was down near by my knees, I didn't notice her doing it but the woman behind was kind enough to tell me. I thanked her for telling me first then directed a suitably hard stare down at my daughter accompanied with the words "You know that's not right. Please put the sweets back". She smiled sweetly and put them back on the shelf immediately.

We did have a longer conversation about it afterwards and she has never (to my knowledge - she's now 16 so goes shopping on her own) done it since.

jenniewb

I would have to play it by ear.

It would depend entirly on how approachable the mother was but I have to be honest, I don't think I'd be saying something for the right reasons: if I had given a disapproving look and it had been ignored, I'd feel annoyed, I'd want to say something to make my point even clearer to the child! (See what I mean by 'wrong reasons'!)

I would basicly point out "I think your child has taken a chocolate bar. If I didn't feel I could approach the mother I'd say something to the shopkeeper but having been a retail worker before, its not always advised to catch someone without security if they look intimitdating (and if I'd have mentioned it to the shop keeper rather then the mother it would have been as I had found her intimidating).

I do remember though when my sister and I were taken to the sweet shop once a week. My sister was about 3 and wanted 2 packets of sweets instead of the ususal 1. I was 5, my mum told her "no you can only have one". she pouted and she looked at me smiling (at the fact her double choice had been refused- mean I know but we didn't get on well), I looked at the shop keeper smiling, probably as we were two young children and the next customer and it was only when we were halfway home my mum found the tell tale wrapper- she blamed it on me! Reasoning that I said it was OK, presumably as I had smiled at her as had the shop keeper! Kids minds work in funny ways at the best of times and things are not always as they seem. I have seen similar many times but the children do seem to get caught by the parent alot.

soobooty

I think it would be irresponsible not to highlight the issue to the parent. The child needs to learn what is right and wrong, and it's best learned from someone they know well, trust and hopefully respect. We all have a duty to help make the world a better place!

ismeval

I would have spoken up loudly so the shop keepker was aware of it .... my grandson at 3 years old knew you had to pay for things in shops and not to take anything ....

I did rat on a youth group I was working with at the time - went into the local garage on the way to a days outing - and noticed two or three of the members put stuff up their sleeves .... when they headed for the door I stood in the way and said 'haven't you forgotten to pay for the sweets up your sleeves' ... the shopkeeper had not seen a thing .....

Noisy_Parkser

Yes, you should have told the mother and the shop; this little girl may be only four but she knew what she was doing was wrong or it wouldn't have looked like stealing! It will only lead to more stealing in the future, maybe much worse; there is a chance the mother would say mind your own business so that is why you tell the shop as well. find out if there was a camera in the shop and nail her a** now!

XRAT

You should tell the mother, to allow her to educate the child. If the mother does nothing then you should definitely tell the store.., because the mother then becomes the shoplifter.

But more importantly because the mother is failing the child.

anjak-j

I wouldn't shop the kid to the store, but I would tell her mother quietly outside it that her child had shoplifted. It is up to her how she deals with it after that.

Tony65

Yes, yes, yes but not to the store, just have a quiet word with the parent and point out that THEY are responsible if their daughter takes something and it would be them that get prosecuted if the store has a policy of prosecuting. The child is too young for any action to be taken against them but next time it could be something with a tag on it and then........'excuse me Madam' etc. If the parent is a responsible parent then they can point out to the child the whynots and wherefors, if they are not then they deserve what they get.