Real Life MMD: Should I tell on the little girl shoplifter?

Former_MSE_Lee

This is a real life MMD so please bear in mind the MoneySaver in question will read your responses:

Please give this MoneySaver the benefit of your advice...

Should I tell on the little girl shoplifter?

I was queuing in a shop and the lady being served had a little girl of about four with her. While Mum and cashier were occupied I saw the girl slip a chocolate bar into her pocket. No-one else seemed to have noticed.

I gave the girl a warning glance which she clearly saw, but in the end they left the shop with the stolen chocolate bar. Would you have said something? What do you say and to whom?

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donal_f

I would definitely tell her Mum. At four years old she doesn't know any better, but I would expect her Mum to tell her off and return the chocolate bar to the store.

KarleyMarie

Yes, even if it means waiting til you are outside the store and quietly telling the mum.

If the mum doesn't notice and they go out shopping 1ce a week and the child steals something on every occasion, the child will always think they can get away with it well into their teens etc..

mgirl_2

I agree - tell mum. She's well below the age of criminal responsibility, let mum deal with it. If one of mine had done that, I would be grateful to be told - mortified, but grateful, and would return the chocolate.

happychappy74

Yes.
A child is heavily guided by the outlook and attitude of its parents (and I see the wrong end of this on a regular basis at work).

If the child is not made aware then it becomes morally, and behaviourally, acceptable.

For the sake of having a quick word with the parent (in which the outlook will become apparent within the first few seconds), then the child can learn a great deal.

However, in the Jeremy Kyle society just always be prepared for the barrage of pointles abuse for your efforts..............

MarcGJ

Learning right from wrong is something even most adults I know have problems with, let alone a four-year-old girl. I'd politely and discretely point out to the mother what I'd seen in the hope the little girl would have explained to her the error of her ways. No punishment needed.

Mind you, I've also seen a child of a similar age encouraged to hide something by the mother, safe in the knowledge she could 'play dumb' and blame the kid if stopped. That time I didn't say anything as the mother was bigger than me and had scary tattoos.

laurel7172

I've been in that situation. I can ham up a good daffy persona when required, so I laid it on thick with the "Oops!", and the "My daughter did that once!" (actually, at the age of 9 months, she removed an interesting object from somebody's shopping bag in a lift. I spotted it just after we left the lift, and had to jam open the door and make enquiries! )

The mum didn't look like she was bothered the child was stealing, but she put it back and I didn't get thumped.

plimsoll

yep tell the mother. I have a friend tho who when her daughter grabbed something choc from by the till & had eaten it by time she realised told cashiers it was the supermarkets fault for being silly enough to put things at buggy height right by the till where you have to stand & wait. But I have paid for smarties before cos DD had got a pack & opened them (& I'm boycotting Nestle lol) - she wasn't "contained" so I figured they could reasonably say it was my fault for not noticing what she was up to/keeping her closer (tho that's very hard cos I was already having my stuff scanned thro - at basket checkout so she'd gone back behind first till - & had both kids with me). She's only 2 but my 4yo heard me tell her she shouldn't have opened them & I'd have to pay for them now (&I didn't let her have any more than the couple she'd already got out lol so she didn't get a "reward" for doing it)

There's "appropriate behaviour" (what we want to see) and then there's "age-appropriate behaviour" - i.e. it's fairly normal for a child that age to just pick something up & decide it's "theirs" as they still find differentiation between theirs & others things hard, up until around 6 they don't really separate fantasy from reality, but as adults/parents we need to guide them towards "appropriate" behaviour as they get older.

Nicki123

I agree must say something, especially as child knows you know; this is when they are learning what is socially acceptable and for you not to speak teaches her it's ok to try to do this.

But she is only 4! I would loudly say directly to the child, in a friendly way but so mum AND cashier could hear, 'Don't forget you have to give that to mummy to pay for before you put it in your pocket'. That way face is saved for everyone.

hb1000

I would have told the mum. The child has got to learn right from wrong no matter how young or how scary the mum looks!!! lol

Whilst in a shop with my 13 month old boy, he managed to pick up the most biggest pair of ladies knickers and I had not noticed. Luckily for me the lady in the shop saw.....as he gave her a lovely smile she decided not to have him arrested for shoplifting.

Thankfully he never did it again!!!

crystalmooniris

I'd probably tell the mother because I have a 3 yr old and they do pick things up, its all new to them this shopping business and its a good opportunity to teach the child about money, buying and how much things cost. Its hardly "grassing up" a criminal!