Real Life MMD: Should I tell on the little girl shoplifter?

Just_Plain_Jane

I've been in this situation. A woman tapped me on the arm as I was coming out of the newsagents and pointed to the buggy, where my two-year-old was about to open a stolen bag of skips. I was mortified, but I thanked the woman for telling me. I use the shop a lot and wouldn't want them to think I was robbing them. I took them back and explained to my little one that mummy has to pay for things before she can have them.

I'm also strictly against parents opening packets and giving them to children while they shop, before the goods have been paid for. This sends the wrong message to kids. I had to stop my mother shopping alone with my kids, as she wouldn't stop doing this despite my protests. I tried to explain to her that although it seems harmless now, she wouldn't think that if my child got caught shoplifting when she's older because she hadn't been taught the rules at a younger age. In fact, I'd probably cop the critisism for not bringing her up to know right from wrong etc!

notfromhere

What's the deal in this country with parents who take food off the shelves in grocery stores and give it to their kids to consume while shopping? Is this a culturally accepted thing, and are shopkeepers ok with it? (I've actually seen adults doing it too, so it's not just kids!)

I'm not from the UK originally, so this is quite alien to me (not that it doesn't happen in my country nowadays, but nowhere near as often as I see it here). Growing up it was an absolute no-no and I don't recall seeing other kids doing it either.

I think the law actually classifies it as theft, though of course not quite the same degree as shoplifting. Eating something like grapes which needs to be weighed at the cash would seem particularly bad.

Thoughts?

kurton

This has always been a problem with Toddlers especially in Supermarkets where there are all sorts of goodies to hand at the Checkouts. Some Supermarkets have tried to do something about this problem however there are still loads of things at a level where little hands can reach. It is of course up to the Mum or whoever is with a child to make sure they understand that they can look but must not touch!. I would have spoken to the Mum politely outside the checkout area. It would then be up to them if they returned to pay for the item or not. They would I am sure take more notice of what the Child was doing on their next shopping trip. We are of course talking about a 4 year old, still a toddler but should have been taught what is right and what is wrong. :j

neilpost

plimsoll wrote: »

There's "appropriate behaviour" (what we want to see) and then there's "age-appropriate behaviour" - i.e. it's fairly normal for a child that age to just pick something up & decide it's "theirs" as they still find differentiation between theirs & others things hard, up until around 6 they don't really separate fantasy from reality, but as adults/parents we need to guide them towards "appropriate" behaviour as they get older.

I totally disagree.

Most kids know this is wrong by about 2-3 years old.

'Swiper, no swiping'...................etc

Hopefully the parent didn't notice, and just needs told.

neilpost

Ebenezer_Screwj wrote: »

I would tell the parent what the child had done and let her sort it out. I don't think the supermarket would take a very serious view as they always place these sort of temptations in childrens way at their check-outs.

Below the age of criminal responsibility anyway............

wsheena

Looks like most people who have replied don't have kids!!
My 4 year old always comes to tesco with me and is usually allowed to pick up a chocolate on his way round - the choccie aisle is the last one i go to -as a reward for behaving whilst i shop.
He knows full well that opening it before it's paid for is wrong.
Part of his ritual is handing the item to the checkout assistant, getting it scanned and handed back, before he sits next to the window munching away and letting me pack and pay in peace.
Anyone who takes their children shopping knows their little habits, and would check for little sneaks themselves if they were that way inclined.

scorpio4x4

Certainly tell the parent - nobody should take it too seriously, but it gives the opportunity to correct inappropriate behaviour, allows the parent to pay rather than possibly agonise over it when they get home and prevents you having to wonder if you should have but didn't tell.

drfella

I would have recruited the kid :rotfl:

demipowell

Hi There

As a parent of a five year old, who was not averse to snitching things when he was younger, I think you should DEFINITELY tell the girl's parent. I would be mortified if my kid did that and would definitely want to know because you cannot correct the child's behaviour unless you are aware of it. The way it was done it might suggest she has done it before, as it was quite clever - my little boy would have just started eating it in full view!!!

I think it was a good point someone else made about taking the mum aside so as not to humiliate her in front of the shop assistant and the whole queue of people! Kids are mortifying enough!

Do be prepared though that you might not get the parental reaction you are expecting. Some parents will find it funny, some might condone/excuse their child and some parents actually use their kids to lift things from shops! But 90percent of us will be genuinely mortified and will welcome the chance to correct the child's behaviour.

Good luck
Demi

skint_but_working_on_it

I'd let mum know quietly and discreetly. It's then up to mum whether she returns to the shop and pays or goes home (although I'd be horrified if it wasn't the former).

A few years ago my then 2 year old took a Fudge bar from our local (small) supermarket and I found out halfway home when she handed it to me to open it cos she couldn't!! I shopped there on a regular basis and was known to the staff so I immediately told her it was naughty, turned the buggy round and took it back to the shop. She didn't get the chocolate ... I made her put it back on the shelf where she got it from and I apologised profusely for her behaviour.

I know kids touch and pick up things and it's difficult to teach them at such an early age. But if you teach them right the first time it's easier in the long-run.