Question

euronorris

Loopy_Lobes wrote: »

Thanks everyone It was lovely of them to ask and I would have considered it if I'd had time to think about it, but having my daughter bouncing up and down in front of me asking for £18 and a packed lunch at 10am when we're not even dressed floored me a bit. We have 3 children and usually do our day trips as a family using vouchers etc so paying £18 for one ticket seems an awful lot to me! Plus it was 10am, it would take her time to get ready, it's an hour way, it's a Bank Holiday and by the time they got there they'd only have time for a handful of rides! When we've been there before we're out the house by 9am to be there in the queue when the gates open, we like to get our moneys worth

My daughter went on holiday for 4 nights with a different friend last year and they wanted no money at all, they wouldn't even talk about money. In the end we gave them £50 'pocket money' for the girls which they accepted. Their daughter is an only child so I suppose having my daughter there kept their daughter company so it was worth the money.

As I sad above we use Tesco vouchers so the ticket prices are usually 1/4 of the price so to take one of our childrens friends is only about a fiver which we happily pay, but I guess not everyone plans their days out so carefully

I think you should remember though, that it may not have been due to the parents poor planning. It may have been that their daughter and your daughter came up with the idea of going together and then badgered her parents, which would most likely prompt the response of 'If X's parents agree and are happy to pay 18 GBP for the ticket, then she can come'.

I've seen my neice and her friends do the same quite often, and I remember doing it myself!

Your daughter was very lucky to get that free 4 day break. I can only assume that the girl's parents could comfortably afford it, which not everyone can.

I also used to holiday regularly with a friend when I was younger. I would go with her family sometimes and vice versa, but our parents agreed that they would each pay the costs for their own child. It was usually a short break in a caravan or something, but they would still cover the costs.

I know it must've been horrid to have to be the 'bad guy' though, which is why I still think you should mention it to the other parent. You can't expect things to change if they don't know they've upset you or why.

ERICS_MUM

What would annoy me more than the money is that the parents didn't call you to discuss it. It's more than a courtesy, it's a big responsibility to take a child away for a day and if it were my child I would want to know all sorts of info.

I think it's reasonable to want to know how they were travelling, when they would be home, exchange mobile phone numbers, let them know if my child had any issues (asthma, allergies etc), ask if they intended both girls to go off on their own for a while.

Perhaps this is me being over-protective but 12 is still young to be away from family (IMO).


Linda

Loopy_Lobes

euronorris wrote: »

Your daughter was very lucky to get that free 4 day break. I can only assume that the girl's parents could comfortably afford it, which not everyone can.

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Yes she was very lucky, they are a lovely family and it was their own caravan so not too much in the way of accommodation costs but obviously food and entertaining etc is costly. We'd love to reciprocate but we have 3 children and holidays are astronomical as it is. We did try to make it up with days out though.

Lara44

Aww can't any parents do anything spontaneously now? It is 'poor planning'! Fair enough it would have been better if they called you, but it's part of life to experience disappointments too. The other child's parent were still offering to take her out which was kind of them.

euronorris

I understand! My childhood friend was an only child and I am one of five, so they would quite often want to do things that my family couldn't afford.

Sometimes Mum said no, other times she suggested something different etc.

Fang_3

So a spontaneous trip is 'poor planning' is it now? Good lord! I don't think it's out of order to ask for a parent to pay for their child, and nor do I think it's out of order for that parent to refuse. Personally I would offer to pay in both situations - it's only polite.

shellsuit

Fang wrote: »

So a spontaneous trip is 'poor planning' is it now? Good lord! I don't think it's out of order to ask for a parent to pay for their child, and nor do I think it's out of order for that parent to refuse. Personally I would offer to pay in both situations - it's only polite.

Did you miss the bit out where the OP wasn't asked by the other parents?


It's polite, to ask another parent, if you would like to take their child out with your child.

It's not polite for a child to tell their friend they can come out with them but it will cost £X amount, as it then puts Mum on the spot.

Some parents might not be able to afford £20 on the spot.

Some parents might have more than one child, and I can just see the others being happy (not!) when big sis goes out to a theme park when they have to stay at home.

It's not fair to do that at all.

nettttie

I've got 11 and 13 year old and no way could I ask their mates parents and them not know - them or their friend! friends seem to change daily as to who's in atm and kids dont keep much quiet! I am often put on the spot cos if there's space in my car a friend can fill it but being a single parent I dont have much money. So I'd have said yes your friend can come for me but she/he will need to ask for their money!

now had I been the mum on the receiving end I'd have said "of course you can go - have you got £18?".

but in the op's shoes, bank holiday, 3 kids, etc I'd have said exactly the same - and kids have to learn they cant have it all.

So whilst I wouldn't be shocked at being asked I'd have acted the same, but if you dont ask in life you dont get! and maybe next time.

We're taking a mate to Spain for 17 days - £180 for flight and food money (burgers when out) and his spends but of course we'll treat him when out. I think his parents are glad of the break.

Fang_3

shellsuit wrote: »

Did you miss the bit out where the OP wasn't asked by the other parents?


It's polite, to ask another parent, if you would like to take their child out with your child.

It's not polite for a child to tell their friend they can come out with them but it will cost £X amount, as it then puts Mum on the spot.

Some parents might not be able to afford £20 on the spot.

Some parents might have more than one child, and I can just see the others being happy (not!) when big sis goes out to a theme park when they have to stay at home.

It's not fair to do that at all.

We don't know whether the parents knew at all. It's not beyond the mind of a child to conspire with their friend and then ask each sets of parents. I know I did it a few times.

Maybe the OP should have telephoned the other child's parents and asked what was going on to get the full picture? Or perhaps to thank them for the offer but to turn it down?

ailuro2

I'd have said no to the theme park due to costs but yes to a day at the seaside which would have been much cheaper for everyone (assuming you're in driving distance of the beach)

That way they would have had a get out of jail card too, as they may have been looking to get out of being railroaded into a theme park by two tweens too.:)