please help partner refused dole

lenny123_2

hello poguels

thanks for your response, i hope everything works out for you.x

lynzpower

lenny123 wrote: »

hiya guys

thanks again for the replies. its our own fault getting credit in the first place and not saving. once these bills are paid off (if i continue to make same payments debt apart from mortgage would be gone in bout 3-5 years) i am never getting in this situation again. in the past we moved countries twice and had to start from scratch which i know isnt an excuse but same time means we both didnt stay at home with the parents save then get a mortgage like some.

I dont mind working hard and shocks me that I cant keep up with my responsibilities but am hoping it wont be for long until were back on track.

We dont have much to sell we sold our car recently to help us get by thats bout it.

We got our bank charges back which i used to clear some of the loans instead of spending it on us and the house which i know is sensible but i could really do with a holiday !! Actually cant wait to speak to the experts next week athough I am in two minds (1) try to carry on as we are even if it kills or splits us up to pay everybody what we owe them each month and try and get debt free asap or (2) pay mim back to the banks, drag out the debt for years but in the meantime actually enjoy life instead of being a big bag of stress...

guess its a no brainer - thanks again for your responses x

Absolute no brainer.

You can have a holiday when your OH is working again and your debts paid down.

Dont be silly, a fortnight in somewhere sunny vs years of struggling. I know what I would do.

( ps I have made the mistake of a holiday instead of debt so I know full well what im talking about

SuziQ

My only comment on this, as you have had very good advice in a desperate situation, is that you seem to be doing more than your oh who is home all day? You are the one contacting everyone, trying to arrange CAB and also looking for jobs and applying for him? I sincerely hope he is making as concerted effort as you are, otherwise it is vastly unfair when you are working 6 days a week!

lenny123_2

Suziq you hit the nail on the head - oh isnt in great form and worried bout him so it seems I am taking on the world and the wife at the mo which is why i am sooo stressed.. Plus side is oh just got a call bout a job - hasnt got it yet but interview next week (yes i did sent it up) !! when he is working he never calls in sick or late etc he is a hard worker its just he has been out of the loop and its getting him down. This is causing fights between us. but hopefully with this interview and meeting CCCS next week things are looking up !! thanks everybody for sharing your thoughts x

calleyw

I know there is not much about job wise but you partner needs to take anything.

Just before my husband had a stroke a couple of years ago he took anything the agency threw at him.

Some weeks he would have a 5 days others just a couple. It would be anything from moving computers in offices to washing out trays at a bakery.

Our income halved over night when my husband had his stroke and for 3 months I only had my income to pay all the bills. And even now my earning potential is lower because I can't leave my husband for too long. We are lucky that my husband gets some benefits and we keep our bills as low as possible that helps. But it looks like our income will always be low.

But we manage.

All the best.

Yours

Calley

Jowo_2

Look at the Shelter website and contact them about your options to prevent arrears and repossession - their site lists a number of government schemes designed to help struggling homeowners so perhaps one of these might be suitable and prevent the lender from charging you to change your type of mortgage.

Killmark

lenny123 wrote: »

hello daisychainmaker, keanefan10 and sh1305

many thanks for your replies though i was hoping you were wrong !!
I am going to take time off work next week to see citizen advice and break our fixed mortgage (which apr is too high - fixed at wrong time) and see if I can go interest only. I went to citizen advice when my partner was made redundant and the lady i spoke to was a cow. none of the companies we owed money to heard from her and she was supposed to be writing them letters. she was very condescending towards me and I came out worse than I went in !! I am going to try another area this time hopefully will end up with somebody I can talk to.

My other half has signed on all the agencies but nothing is out there. I didnt believe him so I started searching the internet and its true - he is a driver. I even went onto all the supermarket websites to see if there are any shelf stackers wanted but nothing? I have told him might be best to walk in and ask in person just in case. Just feels horrible I know the country is not great at the moment but just cant believe there is nothing out there. I have also sent off lots of applications for apprenticeships.. we are trying but getting nowhere and him watching me working 6 days a week is not doing him any good...

i know it will get better just hanging in for that day.

Is he looking on the direct.gov.uk jobsearch?

The reason I mention this is a lot of the big supermarkets/retailers either recruit via the JCP and their own websites.

Around where I am there are always driving jobs advertised either through the JCP or via Agencies but it is certain types of agencies.

It could be your local labour market which is the issue in which case he will have to change tactics.

Ask yourself whats in your area?

e.g. Are their industrial estates? What about warehouse work?

It may not be perfect but its better than nothing

KimYeovil

lenny123 wrote: »

It seems very unfair, we are not married and I dont believe in the eyes of the law I should support him, even though I do because I love him.

<scratches head> <looks out window to see how many suns are in the sky to check I'm on the right planet>

So how much more tax on that 21K salary do you want to give away to support other workers unemployed partners?

Bogof_Babe

Re. the holiday, why not organize a "staycation", where you take a couple of days off work, and go to local and (preferably) free attractions, taking a picnic. If your OH gets work soon, then even just doing that on Sundays makes it feel like a little holiday.

Check out your nearest resort for cheap Advance fares on www.eastcoast.co.uk and go for a day at the seaside or in another town. Some tickets are as low as £7 each way, so for £30 you can have a complete change of scene.

My OH used to do car changeovers for members of the salesforce who were spread all over the country, and we used to go together, and came back really feeling like we'd had a lovely short break.