Stuck in a rubbish life

Millie2008_2

Sorry if this has already been covered, buuuut

(I ought to "come out" as a GP counsellor before I continue)

Just because you know what is making you feel like this doesn't mean you can't be depressed (or call it something else, like low mood, if depression doesn't fit). I really hate to "pathologise" what is essentially rubbish life stuff, but rubbish life stuff can and does have an impact on our mood and wellbeing and sometimes a chat with our GP, to see what they have to offer can be the first step.

If you are not keen on this, maybe consider other resources in your area, career wise or otherwise, but either way, please reach out to someone for support

Big hugs

Mills x

confused76

hiya hun

i have felt very down about my appearance and last week joined weightwatchers. i went to my first meeting, i was scared but i actually enjoyed it. everyone was very chatty and it was very supportive. i'm just suggesting this because not only might this help with your concerns about your weight, it got me out and about mixing with people i never would have met otherwise.

sounds like this job has sapped your confidence. keep looking for another job but i wouldn't leave it until you find another

good luck x

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Get another job - even 16 hours a week, if you have to pay a mortgage, entitles you to tax credits. You could sit on a checkout, wait tables, anything, just to get you out of the place. Mind you, I told the DSS when I walked out of a job I hated that my childminder was unable to look after DD any more and I couldn't find anyone else, so I had to leave. They didn't seem to hold it against me at all.

Bitsy_Beans

I think what you have to remember is the more you listen to the negative voices in your head the more negative and trapped you feel. It's a vicious circle and you have to break it. Exercise is great for boosting your mood but you also need to switch off listening to those negative thoughts that just bring down your self esteem. I have had them about not losing my baby weight - in the end I did the Paul McKenna trick and when I heard myself saying them I changed the voice to high pitched and squeaky - sounds sooooooo stupid but because it didn't sound like a normal voice I didn't take it seriously, lessened the impact. Failing that just tell it to shut up.
Perhaps you could take 10 mins each day to count your blessings - OK this sounds really daft but we take so many small things for granted and spend life looking for the big things. You and your child have your health, you have each others love, you have a roof over your head.......lots of little things to be thankful for and pleased about. Try practising positive thinking - it does take practice and I am far from an expert BUT I have found positive thinking to be far more useful than negative. People are attracted to those that are positive and confident - you can be one of them you just have to practice.
Good luck - you've had lots of good advice on here.

MissMotivation

Your situation sounds scarily like the situation I was in 14 months ago, crappy job, being bullied at work, just come out of a bad relationship, friends all in relationships etc....and then I was made redundant! Funnily enough this was just the shake up I needed, I took 2 months off, reconnected with my old friends, joined Weightwatchers and got a new job.

I'm still single but when I look back on my life then I can't believe how much it has changed and for the first time in years I actually feel happy.

I'm not suggesting that you stop working lol but maybe a change of job is the start of changing what you don't like about your life? For me, it was definitely the work situation that was making me feel awful and once I was out of it I could concentrate on getting other areas of my life back on track.

It's not easy and it won't happen overnight but maybe making small changed initially will put you on the right track.

Huge hugs to you because I know how awful it must seen at the minute.

x

malibusami86

Lonely doesnt need a counsellor lol - she knows the areas she is unhappy with and why - she just needs to find a way to do something about it.

ive recently started getting a bit down about my job being boring, got loads of friends but dont feel particularly close to any of them, trying for another baby for over 1 year and struggling.... just started losing faith.... spent a few days feeling sorry for myself... i did the Race for Life and it changed my outlook. in the last week i have ran 4 times. I have to say i find it really theraputic. Ipod with my favourite tunes and away i go, i dont care who is out and about walking their dog etc, what weather it is. It has majorly increased my energy and lost 5lbs so far. Also another change i have made is getting rid of the tv in my bedroom. When my daughter went to bed i was so bored with no purpose so i'd rot my brain watching tv. Now i dont have a tv in there i listen to my fav tunes which has motivated me to paint to spruce up my room.... or i read which has stimulated my brain. If there is something i really want to watch i'll go downstairs and watch it.

Like you said, you've lost your mates by being so consumed in your misery, i feel for your daughter too, as i noticed my daughter was happier when i was! If you give yourself more purpose (decorating/reading/exercising) you will be much more attractive to friends and potential partners as your confidence will be visable.

good luck!

Blackpool_Saver

I feel very trapped and low too, and i know the cause but there is no way out of it, I get very angry when people say only you can change it, sometimes it can't BE changed and it's about how to cope the best way you can with life as it is.

Lonely

thank you all very much for being kind enough to read this and take the time to reply, I really do appreciate it and you people have excellent advice.

Im going to take myself off for a few days and make some decisions, I think the job has to go and without that pressure I feel other things, such as the obsessing over my ex will ease off - I think I am projecting all of my frustrations onto him and convincing myself he was the answer to all my problems but in all honesty he would have just been another one to add to the list.

Thank you again and I will keep you all updated

eezer

Don't want this to sound harsh and I certainly don't want to offend you, but you do have a reason to get up in the morning - your child, just as you have a reason to put up with the menial job. He/She will be grown up and gone all too soon and do you really want to miss out on their development/enjoyment? You'll have a long time to regret it. Start living a bit by doing whatever you can with them and I'm sure the self confidence will come without you even realising it. That'll allow you to become more assertive at work etc.

Just make sure you take the time to do at least something positive with them each day and then each night in bed just spend a few moments reflecting on what you've done together. I'm sure that'll help you put things into perspective and other aspects of your life will gradually fall into place. I suppose in blunt terms, they have to come first, you second. Not an expert by any means, just an opinion. Hope it helps!!