My Mother

caeler

JoJo makes loads of sense (and offers useful information about the rules of student finance, etc), but then if somebody told me all this a decade ago I'd have not listened. I knew my own mind and I was going to do what I was going to do. Try if you can not to completely burn your bridges, move out weekdays/permanently, etc whatever you decide but how about after your settled invite mum (+family) over for sunday lunch? Keep talking, let her see the new life your creating, let her be part of it. Good Luck.

DrScotsman

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

You will actually find when you swallow your pride a little and check your facts that the majority of students do go home for holidays. Hence the being covered by the parents' TV licence, insurance, the arrangements for medical treatment, electoral law, benefits rules and the cliches about bringing back the washing.

Um, explain all of that.

Parents' TV license thing only applies if it's a battery operated device, i.e. an unplugged laptop.

As far as I know the whole "insurance for things away from home" is usually quite limited compared to a proper stand alone policy. How much does yours cover? The (admittedly few) students I know who've had stuff stolen haven't had it covered by insurance, so either it wasn't covered under their parents' insurance or their parents were lazy/morons. Either way I wouldn't be counting on my parents' policy.

Arrangements for medical treatment? Not sure what you mean, but to do anything other than register for a GP where you reside more than 50% of the time is daft. Even under your students-flock-home model you're at uni more than 50% of the year. (Dentists are obviously different though)

As for electoral law I have no clue what you're on about, you can legally be on two registers at once so long as you don't vote twice.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

As your parents are reluctant both for you to be saddled with debt

What was it Martin said recently in a blog? I think it was that some students get told by their relatives "all debt is bad", try to get by without debt and then end up ONLY taking out bad debt.

The student loan's repayment terms are very lax, and the rate has previously been stoozable and even right now you'd only make a tiny loss keeping it in an instant access savings account if you didn't need it.

GemJar_2

Think of it in your mums perspective, her baby (you'll always be her baby), is growing up and moving in with *shock horror* a BOY! She'll be just finding it hard losing you, she'll know she'll miss you loads and that the house will seem empty. What you need to do is reassure her, move out, see how it goes when you come home only on the weekends.

I thought I was going to have the same problem with my parents but when I did finally move out I made sure that I phoned my mum every day (still do... spoken to her twice today!) and reassured her that everything is okay. Invite her round to see your place and let her know that shes welcome any time.. she'll want to check that your place isn't a tip and that you're coping okay. When my mum first came to my house, it was spotless, the fridge and freezer were full, a Sunday dinner was cooking and we had plenty of loo roll and toothpaste. This seemed to satisfy her enough for her to know that she'd brought me up well enough to know how to live on my own responsibly.

I still phone her for daft things like help with how long to cook odd bits and bobs and the best way to get hair dye off walls ect. She's fabulous.

It sounds like you and your mum have a pretty rough relationship so maybe the time away from each other will do you good? It's done me and my mum the world of good and now we're safely back to being best mates