Hubby flirting with ex-girlfriend and I just found out - thoughts please

nervousftb_3

Moody_Mare wrote: »

I do not think you are over reacting, if he had been honest with you in the first place then fair enough but the fact he had hidden her identity in the phone does appear odd. If it were me I would email her from his email address saying I had a recent STD and she might like to get checked. Then sit back and see if she hits the roof, if she panicks then you know they have been at it so to speak. Either that or phone her yourself and arrange a coffee some where so you can guage her reaction to their friendship. Some may not like the first option which is devious but you would know then for sure it he had been playing away.

Sorry moody mare but i think this is terrible advice! there is no need to be so sneaky, after all the only proof you have of anything is a couple of friendly texts! you don't need to be devious, just sit your husband down and talk to him. ask him about the relationship with his ex and if there was more to it. then you can decide what to do from there.

ETA: cross-posted with jinx, glad it all seems to be sorted!!!

Spikey_2

ego boost?

DVardysShadow

Jinx wrote: »

Thank you all soooo much for the support, I really appreciate it :j

For those who think I am a snoop or my husband needs to go elsewhere, get a grip and get a life.... I am not and refuse to be that type of person, paranoia doesnt suit me

Hubby and I have had a chat (read that as I ranted [1] while he apologised profusely and explained all). And I did ask him if he would be happy should the situation would be reversed [2] and he would not! (funny that lol) I showed him this thread and he wrote me a big spiel which explained a lot (hes had a stressful time of it lately) and hopefully we can now move on. I wont copy it as its very personal...

I will however, bear in mind the revenge tactics mentioned, should the need ever arise. :D:D

A big thank you from a much calmer happier Jinx :T

Good post.

[1] Not surprising
[2] A fair question which really sets out where it is at

Jinx

I think you are all wonderful, where we would be without MSE?

Hugs Jinx xxx

kutsu119

When you spy on people, you discover unpleasant things. Maybe you've now planted the seed in his head.

This forum is nothing but women justifying their unsatisfying relationships by getting one back on men; chilli peppers in underwear indeed, I hope he'd kick the person out if they did that.

Zazen999

kutsu119 wrote: »

When you spy on people, you discover unpleasant things. Maybe you've now planted the seed in his head.

This forum is nothing but women justifying their unsatisfying relationships by getting one back on men; chilli peppers in underwear indeed, I hope he'd kick the person out if they did that.

Oh dear. Chip on shoulder moment.

Perhaps if these chaps learnt to keep it in their pants - there wouldn't be an issue?

MyRubyRed

elvis86 wrote: »

You're obviously not giving him what he wants/needs if he has to look elsewhere after 6 months of marriage...:cool: You sound like a nightmare anyway, if I were him I'd be more angry with you for noseying through my phone.:eek:

You are just a real pain elvis

ERICS_MUM

DVardysShadow wrote: »

1. Do not underestimate what has happened
2. Do not over react

I have the impression that you are setting out to give him a hard time, possibly because you think it is the done thing and he is expecting a hard time for his own reasons.

Have a good think about what you want to happen here, what outcomes you want, because giving him a hard time should not be an end in itself.

Exactly right. :T

Brighton_belle

Really great to hear you've been able to have a frank chat OP and that he was able to see it from your point of view and porperly express what has been going on for him:T. And now you are much happier:D

xmaslolly76

Probably a bit late now as you have spoken to him but as for Oh running to his ex, my EX often contacts me with his woes mainly because he knows i will be honest with him and tell him when he is being a [EMAIL="Pr@t"]Pr@t[/EMAIL] but then we have two other reasons to keep in touch being our children im not sure we would have kept in contact otherwise. He also sticks kisses on the end of texts but then so do i its habit as i do with everyone he also still calls me bab but he does that infront of his new OH so its just a general endearment again nothing in it. We actually get on better now than we ever did when we were together but there is NO way either of us would try to go backwards or want a relasionship with each other. I just wanted to tell you that so you can see it may have been completely innocent and what he was telling you was the truth :-)