Wedding Nightmare - Might Lose best friend forever

gandy

£300 for a hen weekend is bloomin mad!

i went to a friends hen a few weekends a go and thankfully there was a series of options so everyone could pick what they could afford to do. the lowest option being dinner, hotel and a night out with the girls which is what i could only afford. I ended up sharing a room with another friend and the bride and the morning after she was kind enough to say thank you for making the effort to come to any part of the hen do at all.

i think in this time when money is a big issue for lots of people your friend has her head stuck in the sand with what everyone can seem to afford. stick to your guns and don't get into debt for what will only be in essence a night out with the girls. if your friend is any type of friend at all she will realise that not everyone has money to splash around but it might just be the stress of the wedding clouding her judgement.

i would talk to her face to face again, possibly with her OH there to try and make her see reason that it's okay if everyone invited doesn't do everything that's been organised for the hen do.

if she's not willing to take your feelings into consideration is she really the type of friend you want to turn to when you need her?

kr15snw

OMG is she mad?

I wanted to go to Alton Towers for a weekend but my bridesmaid couldnt afford it (about £200 each) so scrapped that.

Then looked at going to see a music concert which I already had tickets to (£100 each) and she doubted she could afford that so scrapped that.

Now thinking a 'sleepover' but concerned Ill only have me and her there

pinky2010

I'm Reading all your posts thanks for your support, it has really helped. I wish bridzilla syndrome didn't exist! :'-(

Lexxi

I can't wait for it, I'm gonna be a nightmare :rotfl::rotfl:

JBD

Stephb1986 wrote: »

Your friend can't be serious to expect people to pay £300 to be with her for a hen party fair enough if it was for the actual wedding and not just the hen party.

Steph xx

A lot of people would consider £300 to be a guest at someone's wedding to be rather an excessive amount. Many people genuinely don't have this sort of money to spend, on what is just one day.So personally I wouldn't say 'fair enough if it was for the actual wedding'.

Sugar_Moon

Maybe she should have thought of other peoples budgets before organising it or at least asked everyone how much they were willing to spend! Thats quite selfish of her.

Youre definately in the right here. some friend she is. Stick to your guns

RainbowDrops

I hope that the situation sorts itself out Pinky, sorry to hear of your streeses

pinky2010 wrote: »

I think some people might be dropping out which is why she is taking it out on me, but seems as no one asked me before it was booked if I could afford it, I dont see why it should have been assumed that everyone could have.

It sounds to me like it might be too expensive for a few people if others have dropped out.
Maybe it's worth chatting with the other girls involved to see if you can come up with an alternative hen do, discussing the costs thoroughly, then putting the ideas to the bride (assuming nothing has been paid for so far).

Obviously this should have been done before plans were made, but maybe if you can salvage the friendship, iot might be worth trying to come up with a soloution.
The bride is obviously stressed, but she maybe needs to take a step back & consider others too.

Personally, the whole idea of extending a hen night into a whole weekend / holiday abroad is asking too much of people. Annual leave & weekends can be really precious to some, and asking people to fork out a load of money for accomodation etc seems cheeky, when they'll already be doing that for your big day.

Cloves

pinky2010 wrote: »

I think some people might be dropping out which is why she is taking it out on me, but seems as no one asked me before it was booked if I could afford it, I dont see why it should have been assumed that everyone could have.

If others are dropping out, it sounds like most other people also feel the same way but don't have the guts to tell her its because of money ( prob come up with an excuse like its their other halfs mothers bday or something like that!). It sounds like you were the nth personto tell her and so she cracked...

Maybe its the wake up call she needs to realise £300 is a LOT of money... and that is only the hens... people need to pay for travel/gifts etc for the wedding... deary me... I'm still shocked... £300! :eek:

Stick to your guns, I'm sure there are other things you would prefer to spend the money on!

superfran_uk

I'm doing a meal in a cheapy restaurant (circa £20 including drinks) and then on to a comedy club (ticket £14, already bought and paid for by all). I'm having it near my parents so that my childhood friends don't have to travel and the out of towners can stay at my mum's for free. Although I may spend £300 on a hen weekend (and have in the past), that is my choice... I'd rather that my poorer friends who have maybe just got a mortgage or are saving can come than we do something exclusive that'll cost the earth and people have to politely decline!

Your friend is being unresonable and if she doesn't downscale or at least acknowledge your predicament and accept your offer to come to half it'll be a very small hen do.