Help to trace Dad.

TAG

Thanks all for your help so far. I've found 1837.com really useful. The search continues.

Tag

loopy_lass

ive found that my dad died in 74, mom is still around think i have found her but darent contat incase i get the elbow so to speak.. any ideas how i can do this?

loops

seven-day-weekend

I haven't got a clue who my natural father is. He is not named on my original birth certificate and I have never traced my natural mother, although I do know her name and where she lived (I've even visited where she lived). She is peobably still alive as she would only be 73.

However, I think whoever he was he must have had loads of body hair, because my son has and my husband hasn't, so I think my son must take after my side of the family (whoever they are)!

loopy_lass

its all very difficult, i hope someone who is a parent who gave up a child for adoption reads this, they dont realise what we have to deal with day in day out.. who are we, who do we look like, whose mannerisms have we got, what do out siblings look like, why did they give me up after keeping 4 before me and on it goes. xmas & my birthdays are banned and are not to be spoken of in my house, dont want reminding of that day or wonder if she is thinking of me at birthdays n xmas.... GGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRrr cry, sob, Grrrr,

anyone fancy going tapping on the address i have for her??? cos i know i darent lol.....

chins up everyone.... its not our fault... i think we are better people sometimes for going thro this ...

hugs xx

loops

seven-day-weekend

loopy_lass wrote:

its all very difficult, i hope someone who is a parent who gave up a child for adoption reads this, they dont realise what we have to deal with day in day out.. who are we, who do we look like, whose mannerisms have we got, what do out siblings look like, why did they give me up after keeping 4 before me and on it goes. xmas & my birthdays are banned and are not to be spoken of in my house, dont want reminding of that day or wonder if she is thinking of me at birthdays n xmas.... GGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRrr cry, sob, Grrrr,

chins up everyone.... its not our fault... i think we are better people sometimes for going thro this ...

hugs xx

loops

Actually, it doesn't bother me at all, I quite like being anonymous, but I know it bothers some people dreadfully and that's why I think adopted children should have every right to find their natural family if they wish (I don't think their natural family should have ther right to find them - maybe just register that they are willing for the adopted child to contact them if he/she wishes to).

ailuro2

loopy_lass wrote:

ive found that my dad died in 74, mom is still around think i have found her but darent contat incase i get the elbow so to speak.. any ideas how i can do this?

loops

Well it's better to know either way,surely?

Why not write a letter to her pretending you are a friend of her daughter saying she is hesitant to get in touch with her mother?
A bit sneaky but she might have missed you all those years. Without knowing why she gave you up (maybe the rest of the family were already starving?) it is hard to make a judgement.

Do it now before it's too late also.Or you'll be forever left wondering....

loopy_lass

i have my social reports and know the reason she gave me up, doesnt wash with me, complicated, but a load of C**p if you ask me.

I have written once saying i was researching my dads family( just put family name no details) and could she give me some info, never heard anything back.....

guess i need to do something

loops

dorry_2

loopy_lass wrote:

i have my social reports and know the reason she gave me up, doesnt wash with me, complicated, but a load of C**p if you ask me.

I have written once saying i was researching my dads family( just put family name no details) and could she give me some info, never heard anything back.....

guess i need to do something

loops

hya loopylass, :wave:

i was adopted at 6 weeks, when my mum died and dad went into the home, i found my birth mum name and address, luckliy, she still lives in the same village and i found a fone number for my sister. i just rang her and introduced myself, she said they had been waiting 40 years for me to ring!

i met my mum and she is lovely, she took us all on holiday and is always poping in with presssie for us!! however, i am well aware this could of turned out dreadfully, i think you have to look at every posssibilty first before contacting them.

hth

love dorry xxxx

Barcode

loopy_lass wrote:

ive found that my dad died in 74, mom is still around think i have found her but darent contat incase i get the elbow so to speak.. any ideas how i can do this?

loops

How about a mediating service? Look into Norcap.

I've thought about tracing my biological father. It took literally years to get a name from my mother, and she claims not to remember other pertinent information such as age, parents names etc. This is despite the fact she must have had contact of sorts with him for at least two years as my younger sister has the same father.

So with a name, and a very approximate age, I have no idea what to do. I've tried genesreunited, friendsreunited. There are 500 people with his name on the electoral roll. If I'm determined enough, I suppose I'll just have to find a way to post 500 letters. Either that, or I'll be writing to Trisha :eek:

Savvy_Sue

Or loopy, would you feel easier about tracing a sibling who might be willing to talk to your birth mum?