Worried about sister with new fella + her kids!

BetterMyself

princessleah_ wrote: »

From what you are saying I agree with this. If there is nothing to hide then there won't be a problem.

Could you visit the children at lunch time at school and have a word?

i would love to do this but we live 50miles away and i have a very ill wife who i care for. she is also very worried as she has known her for 20 years. i think i will call ss in the morning.

thanks for the input

i also know that he was married and has a kid (boy) that he isnt allowed to see-can i track his ex-wife down, or is that too weird? he was beaten up by his ex wife brother and dad and the police charged him-weird isnt it!

louise3965

See if she is on facebook if you like, I guess

BetterMyself

louise3965 wrote: »

Do you know where he comes from and how long ago you think he was inside, then look at the local newspaper archives online? Or just google his name and the crime you think he committed and trawl through everything?

It doesnt sound particularly healthy, their relationship though but its all smoke and mirrors at the moment so its hard to know what action, if any you can take

do you think social services would count stuff that nephew has posted on facebook? he has made several comments about the BF smashing house up, threatning him, drinking excessively etc. his friends on there have backed him up and some were even there when it has kicked off a couple of times.

i am also worried that nephew will do something stupid as he has had enough and wants to elsewhere.

hellyboo_2

When children are younger than school age the health visitor is the person to speak to.
Older than this it is the school nurse.

If you are concerned you could speak to the school nurse who would have access to social services etc. If you really think the kids are in danger it would definately be worth a chat with them as they know the kids. Alternatively social services as above would have a duty worker who could maybe investigate it.

RAS

Hi

if he really is not allowed to see his son (rather than his wife will not allow it), the SS will take a very dim view of him being in the same house as your nephew and niece.

Another poster here has an ex whose current partner is not allowed access to her children. Consequently, the ex is not allowed to see his kids if his new partner is around. Since he failed to keep the rules he is no longer allowed unsupervised access at all.

Errata

Bluntly - if you have serious concerns for the well being of the children and also their mother, stop trying to play detective.
Speak to Womens Aid or your local Domestic Violence service as a matter of urgency. Only you can decide how urgently you need to share your concerns with an organisation(s) who are well placed to understand them and offer you guidance, support and help.
But you are the one who has to make that decision. HTH

74jax

You have to phone someone for advice, not post on here (I don't mean that in a bad way). You obviously feel very badly about this and I guess your stomach is chewed up constantly. Taking your sister out of the equation - you are the children's Uncle. You feel uneasy about what they are experiencing, only you can contact someone regarding this - your sister won't. It may be hard to deal with at first, but if everything is ok then your mind will be put at rest, let others do the finding out - looking on facebook, doing google searches etc will not sort this situation. Your sister is now withdrawn, is not the person she was, please please do something to set this in motion. Don't say you'll wait and see how it goes, it could go dreadfully wrong.

louise3965

I disagree that you shouldnt post on here. Its good to chat things through with others who dont know you. Its quite a scary thing to contact an outside agency with concerns about your family so I think it would help to read that others didnt think you were overreacting. But ^^^^ is right. Its better to do something and be wrong, than not do anything and be proved right. Good luck.

gizmo111

Ring the social services nearest to your sister, this sounds serious and her kids are at risk of emotional,physical abuse and neglect. You can ask ot remain anonymous and they should do this however it may be good for your sister to know even though she has treated you bad you still care and want to help.
Do it asap.
Highly unlikely they will look at his facebook, but will talk to him and his school and sibling.

GobbledyGook

It might be an idea to take screen prints of your nephew's comments. If he's openly putting things like threats and comments about the BF smashing the house up it sounds like a cry for help to me.

I'd be calling SS in the morning with your concerns. If he's not allowed to see his own child then there is a chance he shouldn't be around your nephew and niece.