advice re disinterested mum

katieclampet

So sad that your mother is like this, and there probably isnt much that you can do to change things. However you will probably be a wonderful mother since you know exactly how awful it feels when your mother doesnt seem to care, and you will always be there for your children.

My parents were extremely disinterested in me, never visited, phoned, invited me out, accepted invitations, and in the end i gave up. I used to visit once a month or so, to check they were ok, and ring occasionally. Not ideal, but at least I felt I was staying in touch. I couldnt change there behaviour, but as another poster mentioned, I changed the way I dealt with it. It is very sad, but thats just the way things are sometimes.

It is also sad to see how many other people seem to have a similar problem with there parents.

katiex

Blackpool_Saver

suited-aces wrote: »

I'd be round to his house to see him and telling her in no uncertain terms what she can do with herself.

I have tried everything, last time I wrote and emailed and got no reply I followed up with an email saying I would call round, that woman phoned me and said she would call the police If I did

suited-aces

What a !!!!!. I sincerely hope you can get through to your father some day.

Blackpool_Saver

suited-aces wrote: »

What a !!!!!. I sincerely hope you can get through to your father some day.

So do I, I have tried and tried, he is afraid of her.

Kay_Peel

For a woman in her thirties with her own family, you sound like a person who is jealous for the attention of her mother and resents any attention given to her siblings. You seem to only think of her in terms of how she can support you, or often she should visit you.

I bet your mother never imagined that she would still be running around and trying to please grown women in her family. She probably thought that she would be free to do whatever she wanted rather than have to answer to controlling adults. She sounds like a woman who doesn't have a life of her own and I feel very sorry for her.

I think you've got to do a bit of growing up. At your age you should have an equal, adult and mutually supportive relationship with your mother. Perhaps you could go and visit her and talk to her about her life, her hopes, her concerns and her plans for the future - and try not to talk about you, you, you. You'll find that hard if you have the mindset of a sulky teenager, but very easy if you are mature enough to see that you have to change your attitude to your unfortunate mother.

Good luck to you - and look after your Mum.

red_devil

if people havent got the passion want and desire to stay in touch then forget it! Both parties have to want the same things. A relationship should be 2 way and its nice to feel wanted and not to feel you are doing all the running!

if a person dosent bother look on it as their loss and try and get abit of happiness out of each day for you. They might regret it one day but it wont be your problem.