vent about some ( not most ) student

fleagle21

AsknAnswer2 wrote: »

My teenage niece is getting married this year. She is a very intelligent girl and could do so much with her life, but has no common sense. My other niece went to Uni and dropped out 6 months into the course, marrying some bloke she's only just met. I just want to give the pair of them a bloody good shake and tell them to wake up.

My life experience tells me that my nieces are being very stupid. It tells me that one day they may realise just how much that they have thrown away. But it's their life, not mine. It's difficult when you can see what someone who has potential and opportunities is doing and you want to scream at them to grab every chance they can, but the reality of it is, you'll never make them see that.

The only thing that can make them see that is the direct experience itself.

I couldn't disagree more. Life is what you make of it - I married at 19, worked for a while, went to uni aged 24, and I'm graduating next month with a BSc hons in Psychology. For me, that was totally the right thing to do. If I had gone to uni straight from school/college, it wouldn't have been for the right reasons. Now, I'm old enough to know what I want to do with my life, and have the few years work experience which will go in my favour compared to the younger graduates.

Why do you assume your nieces are throwing everything away? Maybe they're just like me and are doing things a bit backwards from the 'norm'!

kr15snw

I graduated 2 years ago and got a minimum wage crappy job. Then got a better paid job after a year but soon turned out to be terrible so I left. Now self employed but it's hard, very hard and not sure it's going to work out

But am getting married at the end of the year and although it wasn't planned I think we will start a family pretty soon. The original plan was he would be a stay at home dad working maybe a day or 2 a week while the kids we're at nursery / family (hes self employed so could fit a few small jobs in) while I worked full time.

Well his business has worked out so well that he now earns about 3 times what I do, so looks like Ill be the one staying at home and hopefully doing a few hours a week. Im ok with this

But for me, yeh its young but we have our reasons. He's much older (38) and doesnt want to wait much longer for kids (fair point) and we'd like them to be similar ages to our neices (2 and 4). So Im very happy to do it soon

AsknAnswer2

fleagle21 wrote: »

I couldn't disagree more. Life is what you make of it - I married at 19, worked for a while, went to uni aged 24, and I'm graduating next month with a BSc hons in Psychology. For me, that was totally the right thing to do. If I had gone to uni straight from school/college, it wouldn't have been for the right reasons. Now, I'm old enough to know what I want to do with my life, and have the few years work experience which will go in my favour compared to the younger graduates.

Why do you assume your nieces are throwing everything away? Maybe they're just like me and are doing things a bit backwards from the 'norm'!

If you bothered to read my post properly, you'd see that I'm also doing things "backward from the norm". My point is that my nieces have opportunities now which may or may not come around again, and no neither one of them have intentions to go back to university in future, they see married life as their future, the be all and the end all with no thought to the circumstances of what would happen if life dealt them a blow.

Don't quote a part of my post and take it completely out of context.

fleagle21

AsknAnswer2 wrote: »

If you bothered to read my post properly, you'd see that I'm also doing things "backward from the norm". My point is that my nieces have opportunities now which may or may not come around again, and no neither one of them have intentions to go back to university in future, they see married life as their future, the be all and the end all with no thought to the circumstances of what would happen if life dealt them a blow.

Don't quote a part of my post and take it completely out of context.

Woah!! I did read your post properly. You are now doing a degree too - but that simply highlights the point that if your nieces want the option later in life, they can have it, just like me and just like you! At the time of getting married, I never had intentions to ever go to uni either, but things change. That's all I'm saying, a bit harsh to assume they're "throwing everything away" just because they don't want that stuff right now. Maybe they won't ever want it - but then that will be what suits them.

If they do live to regret it, and life deals them a blow, you can say "I told you so" (although I hope you wouldn't...!)

musicmaker29

People are people, everyone has different priorities and things that they want to do (thank god) - if someone wants a family, great - if someone else wants a career, great! your last comment hits the nail on the head.

fly_dragon_fly wrote: »

i realised she can live her life how she wants.

Cara_xx

I graduated in 2007 (Im 23 now)- and to be totally honest, I went to uni to avoid joining the real world after schol for a little longer - the job I do now (low paid office monkey) is in no way related to my English degree!
I know quite a few women whose ambitions are the whole 2.4 kids, dog, hubby etc, and whilst that is not by burning ambition at the mo, I understand that there are people out there for whom that is all they want out of life - and fair play to them - as long as it just not an excuse for claiming benefits!