Flat mate taking the P...

clutton_2

i would most certainly contact the mum... she needs to know what her lovely daughter has done... she needs to know that her actions are now impinging on OP's life and finances....

i can see no DP implications whatsoever here - as the guarantor has signed a legal contract which affects OP's life

whether mum then stumps up any rent money is another matter....

AbbieCadabra

clutton wrote: »

i would most certainly contact the mum... she needs to know what her lovely daughter has done... she needs to know that her actions are now impinging on OP's life and finances....

i really do not understand this advice that keeps being given :eek:. just what benefit will it be to the OP?

ok, say OP manages to contact her mum, what if mother turns out to have the same life values as daughter? how happy is that little meeting likely to end?

on the other hand, perhaps mum might be a level headed person but just how would you react if someone came 'telling tales' about your precious little girl??

i just cannot see how this course of action would be of any benefit whatsover to the OP - leave it up to the LA/LL to be contacting the guarantor, if necessary.

mr_fishbulb

AbbieCadabra wrote: »

i just cannot see how this course of action would be of any benefit whatsover to the OP - leave it up to the LA/LL to be contacting the guarantor, if necessary.

Because it cannot all be done by the LA/LL - as I said before they will chase for rent but that doesn't help the OP get any money back for the bills the flatmate has left them with.

AbbieCadabra

mr_fishbulb wrote: »

Because it cannot all be done by the LA/LL - as I said before they will chase for rent but that doesn't help the OP get any money back for the bills the flatmate has left them with.

yes, sorry. i think i'm talking at cross purposes & not making it clear i'm really thinking of mainly the rent. i don't know how you'd go about sorting the bills, so i'm really talking about rent & the tenancy responsibilities.

i do understand what you've said about the bills, but this about contacting the mum - surely if any contact is to be made to try & get what's owed on bills, it should be as already said by FireFox "Get the letting agency to get a proper forwarding address for your housemate, then you can take her to the small claims court." ??

mr_fishbulb

AbbieCadabra wrote: »

yes, sorry. i think i'm talking at cross purposes & not making it clear i'm really thinking of mainly the rent. i don't know how you'd go about sorting the bills, so i'm really talking about rent & the tenancy responsibilities.

i do understand what you've said about the bills, but this about contacting the mum - surely if any contact is to be made to try & get what's owed on bills, it should be as already said by FireFox "Get the letting agency to get a proper forwarding address for your housemate, then you can take her to the small claims court." ??

For the rent and tenancy I totally agree with you, but the small claims court process for bills will mean all costs will need to be incurred by OP and then claimed back. There is also no guarantee that the flatmate will pay the money even if the OP does win (or may pay back at a very small rate e.g. £10 per month).

I guess there's no right or wrong answer here. If the OP doesn't fell comfortable trying to approach the mother directly, then she doesn't have to

Mischa8

mr_fishbulb wrote: »

For the rent and tenancy I totally agree with you, but the small claims court process for bills will mean all costs will need to be incurred by OP and then claimed back. There is also no guarantee that the flatmate will pay the money even if the OP does win (or may pay back at a very small rate e.g. £10 per month).

I guess there's no right or wrong answer here. If the OP doesn't fell comfortable trying to approach the mother directly, then she doesn't have to

What on earth is wrong (I think I posted this before) with ringing or going to see the co-tenant about the bills? Texts/emails/letters will be useless as quite likely they'll be ignored but only so many times you can ignore a phone call and a friendly visit (doesn't have to be about bills, you can pretend you're concerned about why she's done a runner (ie mental health). I agree (contrary to what I posted before) not contacting mother is probably the best option as I can just see there'd be conflict there. When my own mother got involved with my council tax dispute (as my co-tenant was REALLY belligerent and didn't want to pay/sort out etc the problem adequately but was prepared to let me pay the council a £100 one off payment even though it was unsure who/what this was for) my co-tenant naturally was extremely hostile and defensive, with my mother putting her 2 pence worth in but my co-tenant had been deliberately unfriendly and unhelpful since I'd moved into the flatshare with her.

But, the co-tenant (flatmate from hell) obviously works, has a mobile phone etc and is in part jointly liable for all bills or needs to provide an explanation as to why they weren't paid pronto.

Also - what happens if there's any post that arrives for the co-tenant - she will obviously want this to be forwarded to her new address or will want to collect it, IF she has actually moved out.

Like I said before - speak to co-tenant/LA/LL to ascertain whether co-tenant has actually moved out, given notice etc or whether, like others say, she has just moved out (her belongings) and has keys and is able to access the flat etc.

To me - as a bystander it sounds as if these ladies are inexperienced in flatsharing - renting a flat - and one of them has maybe had financial troubles and indeed in this troubled economy maybe work problems - at the very least. Class A drugs bring problems and often finance related ones too.

I also have to say, that the OP (Lish) although she's been treated badly, hasn't reacted brilliantly by bringing all her kitchen utensils into a separate room so other flatmate can't use them and has shied away from actually sitting down and having a proper chat with her flatmate. So it doesn't surprise me that flatmate feels targeted, and in a corner (not being able to cook would !!!! me off too, even if they were the OP's utensils). Does the OP not get the concept of a flat SHARE? Did they not agree to SHARE cooking utensils etc at start of moving in?

This all smacks of immaturity and like I said before, could easily be sorted out with mediators (unbiased friends of both flatmates on either side), with notes taken over a quiet afternoon in Starbucks.

But just MHO.

Brit_In_America

Can you not contact the landlord/lettings agency and inform them of her actions? They might be able to evict her? Especially if there is suspicion of drug taking in the flat.
Get a lock for your door, and don't keep anything valuable in the flat that you cannot lock away. Can you stay at a friends or family members? Maybe move some stuff to a friends house and start looking for a new place to live - as soon as you can, get out.

Fire_Fox

Mischa8 wrote: »

I also have to say, that the OP (Lish) although she's been treated badly, hasn't reacted brilliantly by bringing all her kitchen utensils into a separate room so other flatmate can't use them and has shied away from actually sitting down and having a proper chat with her flatmate. So it doesn't surprise me that flatmate feels targeted, and in a corner (not being able to cook would !!!! me off too, even if they were the OP's utensils). Does the OP not get the concept of a flat SHARE? Did they not agree to SHARE cooking utensils etc at start of moving in?

This all smacks of immaturity and like I said before, could easily be sorted out with mediators (unbiased friends of both flatmates on either side), with notes taken over a quiet afternoon in Starbucks.

But just MHO.

I agree I thought that was stupid advice for the OP to remove all her personal possessions. However bear in mind the OP's indoor cat was put outside on the balcony, not really the actions of someone serious about a flat SHARE. Also bear in mind the friend had no respect for the privacy of the OP's bedroom when she was away- not really the actions of someone serious about a flat SHARE. And no respect for her need for peace and quiet on a school night - not really the actions of someone serious about a flat SHARE. I honestly don't think this could be sorted over a coffee, this flatmate showed her true colours and cannot be trusted.

Lish_2

Thanks so much for all your replies- I can see both sides of the story with regards to this appearing a bit immature but trust me, when I removed my things out of the kitchen. It was simply out of shear frustration- she showed little or no respect for any of my possessions and I had just had enough. After her locking my cat outside, letting someone use my room, showing absoloutely no consideration for me or the flat etc. etc it was about the only thing I could do seeing as she flatly refused to sit down and discuss the situ and basically avoided me until she moved out!

SO, have spoken to the LA and they advised she will be paying rent until the 6th month is up. Her mum has left me a cheque in my post box for the bills and after being contacted by her mother via email. I finally had chance to set the record straight and voice my feelings on both her and her daughters lack of communication and un-willingness to sort this out. After recieving excuse after excuse (poor ones at that!) I came to realise just where my flat mate gets her immaturity from. Its all done and dusted and I am glad that I got to have my say (nicely) even if it wasnt face to face as I would have liked it to have been!
Me and my puss have been enjoying having free reign of the apartment during this lovely summer weather and I have now decided to look on the bright side of things and have arranged a BBQ for my girlfriends next month- something I wouldnt/couldnt have done whilst my flat mate was around! Yay!

Still have the issues of the bills up to the date she left. I think it will be a case of dealing with them as and when they come in. My LA is doing an inspection of my place tonight and we will also get the opportunity to discuss these types of things and what to do from here on in.... I think I will also hand my notice in to leave at 6 months, I am put of flat-sharing for life now! lol.
Will be interesting to see what the LA's opinion is on it. I have spoken to her a few times on the phone and she has said she cant take sides but she has said a few things that indicate she very much feels sympathy for my situation up to now.
Another possible future problem is that they are waiting for the report to come back re the leaking shower that happened whilst I was away and she seems to think it could have been sabotage. Great.... No point worrying about it now- will just have to cross that bridge when I come to it.

I have got the meter readings and informed the council of the change of status so I am entitled to my 25% discount- thanks for the heads up guys!

Will wait and see what the LA says tonight during the inspection and report to you all tomorow! Seriously, thanks so much for your advice and support over this. It has been a great source of comfort to listen to your opinions on this subject. I really do appreciate it! You stars.

Love Lish x

clutton_2

so glad you seem to be taking all this in your stride.. well done.... just becaues you have had a bad experience this time, dont rule our sharing for the rest of your life... just take more time getting to know the applicants. If you get a 2 bed flat and you advertise.. then you have control..

good luck

happy BBQ !